{"id":3114,"date":"2012-08-28T08:00:10","date_gmt":"2012-08-28T12:00:10","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/doinglifetogether\/?p=3114"},"modified":"2012-08-07T11:36:39","modified_gmt":"2012-08-07T15:36:39","slug":"mothers-and-daughters-adjusting-expectations-for-a-good-relationship","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2012\/08\/mothers-and-daughters-adjusting-expectations-for-a-good-relationship.html","title":{"rendered":"Mothers and Daughters: Adjusting Expectations for a Good Relationship"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/258\/2012\/05\/I-love-my-mother.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-full wp-image-2452\" title=\"I love my mother\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/258\/2012\/05\/I-love-my-mother.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"216\" height=\"334\" \/><\/a>When I was writing the book, <em>I Love my Mother But&#8230;<\/em>, women would ask me what I was writing about. When I told them it was a book about mothers and daughters, immediately they said, &#8220;Oh, you should interview me.\u00a0 Let me\u00a0 tell you about my mother!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Obviously mothers make a lasting impression on us and it seems we all have a few complaints no matter how good our relationship is. This is because of the great expectations we have for mothers.<\/p>\n<p>Most of us know that our mom&#8217;s aren&#8217;t perfect, yet that doesn&#8217;t stop us from wishing they were. So we make our moms responsible for everything from our self-esteem to our choice of mates. And we expect moms to be superwomen. Then, when they don&#8217;t measure up to our unrealistic expectations, we feel disappointed, or cheated. In fact, we often accuse our moms of ruining our lives and blame them for all sorts of things.<\/p>\n<p>We forget that we\u00a0 are responsible for our own choices and don&#8217;t realize that mom can&#8217;t give us what she doesn&#8217;t have. She can&#8217;t be all-knowing, all nurturing, all powerful and all giving. She is human and an imperfect woman &#8211;just like we are.<\/p>\n<p>So lose those unrealistic expectations and look to another source to fulfill <strong>all <\/strong>your needs. The only perfect one is God. He&#8217;ll never disappoint or let you down because He is love. He chose you, accepts you unconditionally and highly esteems you. We do best when we work on completing ourselves through surrender to Him, releasing our past hurts to Him, grieving our losses and looking only to Him to complete us.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>When I was writing the book, I Love my Mother But&#8230;, women would ask me what I was writing about. When I told them it was a book about mothers and daughters, immediately they said, &#8220;Oh, you should interview me.\u00a0 Let me\u00a0 tell you about my mother!&#8221; Obviously mothers make a lasting impression on us&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":419,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[914],"tags":[1117,1586,644,1585,1290,49],"class_list":["post-3114","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-family-relationships-2","tag-adult-daughters","tag-expectations-in-relationships","tag-family-relationships","tag-mother-daughter-conflict","tag-mother-daughter-relationships","tag-mothers"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Mothers and Daughters: Adjusting Expectations for a Good Relationship<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2012\/08\/mothers-and-daughters-adjusting-expectations-for-a-good-relationship.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Mothers and Daughters: Adjusting Expectations for a Good Relationship\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"When I was writing the book, I Love my Mother But&#8230;, women would ask me what I was writing about. When I told them it was a book about mothers and daughters, immediately they said, &#8220;Oh, you should interview me.\u00a0 Let me\u00a0 tell you about my mother!&#8221; Obviously mothers make a lasting impression on us&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2012\/08\/mothers-and-daughters-adjusting-expectations-for-a-good-relationship.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Doing Life Together\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:author\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/drlindamintle\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2012-08-28T12:00:10+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2012-08-07T15:36:39+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2012\/05\/I-love-my-mother.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Linda Mintle\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@drlindamintle\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Mothers and Daughters: Adjusting Expectations for a Good Relationship","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2012\/08\/mothers-and-daughters-adjusting-expectations-for-a-good-relationship.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Mothers and Daughters: Adjusting Expectations for a Good Relationship","og_description":"When I was writing the book, I Love my Mother But&#8230;, women would ask me what I was writing about. 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Her media experience includes seven years as the resident expert for ABC Family\u2019s Living the Life television show and regular appearances on network television and radio. It is often said that being with Dr. Linda is like having coffee with a friend. She makes the complicated issues of relationships and mental health easy to understand and applicable to everyday living. The ease she has with people, coupled with her clinical training and experience makes her a sought-after speaker on college campuses, conferences and special events. Whether she is doing a TV skit with Tim Conway or discussing teen violence with Queen Latifa, Dr. Linda will entertain, educate and integrate faith and mental health in everyday living. 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