{"id":26132,"date":"2025-12-02T08:00:03","date_gmt":"2025-12-02T13:00:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?p=26132"},"modified":"2025-12-01T13:41:24","modified_gmt":"2025-12-01T18:41:24","slug":"grace-at-the-table-loving-family-through-political-differences","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2025\/12\/grace-at-the-table-loving-family-through-political-differences.html","title":{"rendered":"Grace at the Table: Loving Family Through Political Differences"},"content":{"rendered":"

 <\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>I\u2019ve noticed a disturbing trend this holiday season: people are being encouraged to avoid their families if they disagree politically. Some are skipping family gatherings entirely, and this withdrawal is even being praised as healthy. I believe this is deeply misguided, and here\u2019s why.<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Political figures come and go, but your family is a constant.<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Why would we sacrifice relationships that span decades over politicians who may not even be relevant in a few years? Why give political figures that much power in your personal life?<\/p>\n

    I can hold my views without becoming harsh, demeaning, or reactive and so can most adults. If a political conversation at dinner upsets you, you can:<\/p>\n

      \n
    • Excuse yourself and refill a drink or go get dessert.<\/li>\n
    • Redirect the conversation (\u201cHey, let\u2019s talk about the movie we watched last night\u2026\u201d).<\/li>\n
    • Simply listen and disagree quietly.<\/li>\n
    • Say, \u201cI hear your point\u2014here\u2019s where I differ,\u201d\u00a0without\u00a0being hostile.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

      Cutting people out because of a politician they support is ultimately\u00a0your loss. Families for generations have tolerated differences and still cooked, laughed, celebrated, worshipped, and loved one another. If we can\u2019t do that now, it reflects an erosion of tolerance and a lack of grace, not a principled stand.<\/p>\n

      Example:<\/em>
      \nYour uncle brings up a political opinion at Christmas. Instead of storming out, say, \u201cUncle Joe, I see this differently. Let\u2019s put politics aside for tonight. Aunt Suzi\u2019s pecan pie is too good to ruin with debate.\u201d<\/p>\n

        \n
      1. Politics is only one part of a person\u2014not their entire identity.<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

        Some claim that political beliefs show \u201cwho someone really is.\u201d I strongly disagree. Politics tells you what someone reads, listens to, or has been influenced by,\u00a0not\u00a0their capacity for empathy, generosity, loyalty, or love.<\/p>\n

        Reducing a person to their political stance is narrow-minded. And any therapist who advises you to cut off family solely over political disagreements misunderstands boundaries. We set boundaries around\u00a0abuse, not around diverging ideas.<\/p>\n

        It’s healthy to expose yourself to different perspectives, ask thoughtful questions, and listen. You cannot grow if you cut off everyone who thinks differently.<\/p>\n

        Example:<\/em>
        \nYour sister may vote differently than you, but she may also be the one who brings meals when you\u2019re sick, helps with childcare, or remembers your birthday every year. Political identity doesn’t negate moral character.<\/p>\n

          \n
        1. The refusal to find common ground.<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

          It\u2019s Christmas, the season centered on the advent of Christ, not the latest headlines. If we fixate on political identity, we lose sight of the deeper meaning of the holiday.<\/p>\n

          My nephew and I disagree on almost everything politically, but we share a love of sports and family traditions. We can cheer for the same team while rolling our eyes (lovingly) at each other\u2019s opinions.<\/p>\n

          Are we really so fragile that we can\u2019t celebrate with someone who votes differently?<\/p>\n

          Find the areas that unite you instead of obsessing about the ones that divide.<\/p>\n

          Example:<\/em>
          \nMake a rule: \u201cNo politics until after dessert,\u201d or create a family tradition of board games, cookie decorating, or watching a classic Christmas movie together.<\/p>\n

            \n
          1. Confusing psychological safety with sameness.<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

            Differences of opinion do\u00a0not\u00a0create psychological danger. Unfortunately, colleges and social media have promoted the idea that disagreement equals harm, leading many young adults to believe they must avoid discomfort at all costs.<\/p>\n

            But discomfort is how we grow. Avoiding every opposing viewpoint creates an echo chamber\u2014a place where beliefs go unchallenged, and critical thinking dries up.<\/p>\n

            Constantly labeling differing ideas as \u201cunsafe\u201d or \u201cmicroaggressions\u201d leaves people lonely and surrounded only by those who validate them. That is not emotional health; that is fragility.<\/p>\n

            Example:<\/em>
            \nA civil debate over dinner: \u201cHelp me understand why you think that,\u201dis not a threat. It\u2019s a normal part of relating to other adults.<\/p>\n

              \n
            1. Confusing cut-off with self-protection.<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

              I\u2019ve read articles advising people to cut off family to \u201cprotect their mental health\u201d if they disagree politically. But what are they actually protecting themselves from?<\/p>\n

                \n
              • A differing viewpoint?<\/li>\n
              • A challenge to their beliefs?<\/li>\n
              • A moment of discomfort?<\/li>\n
              • An opportunity to build resilience?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

                Life requires tolerating difficult coworkers, neighbors, and community members. Emotional maturity is built through navigating differences, not avoiding them.<\/p>\n

                Cutoff is not a relational strategy. It\u2019s self-protective in the moment but self-sabotaging in the long term.<\/p>\n

                If you feel consistently distressed around your family, look deeper:<\/p>\n

                  \n
                • Are you contributing to the tension?<\/li>\n
                • Are you expecting everyone to honor your beliefs while refusing to consider theirs?<\/li>\n
                • Is the issue truly politics or other unresolved emotional patterns?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

                  Example:<\/em>
                  \nIf your dad makes political comments that bother you, you can say, \u201cDad, I love you. These conversations stress me out. Can we talk about something else?\u201d This sets a boundary\u00a0without\u00a0severing the relationship.<\/p>\n

                  Families are imperfect, but they are also irreplaceable. Politics should never hold more weight than the people who have known you, loved you, and stood by you through life\u2019s highs and lows. This holiday season, choose connection over division, curiosity over condemnation, and grace over cut-off.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

                    I\u2019ve noticed a disturbing trend this holiday season: people are being encouraged to avoid their families if they disagree politically. Some are skipping family gatherings entirely, and this withdrawal is even being praised as healthy. I believe this is deeply misguided, and here\u2019s why. Political figures come and go, but your family is a…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":419,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[914],"tags":[9521,9524,9527,5904,678,9518,1890,9515,8124],"class_list":["post-26132","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-family-relationships-2","tag-avoiding-family-due-to-politics","tag-different-views","tag-familty-differences","tag-family-and-holidays","tag-family-conflict","tag-family-cut-off","tag-handling-conflict","tag-political-differences","tag-psychological-safety"],"yoast_head":"\nGrace at the Table: Loving Family Through Political Differences<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"I\u2019ve noticed a disturbing trend this holiday season: people are being encouraged to avoid their families if they disagree politically.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, 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