{"id":25865,"date":"2025-10-16T08:00:21","date_gmt":"2025-10-16T12:00:21","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?p=25865"},"modified":"2025-10-11T14:15:31","modified_gmt":"2025-10-11T18:15:31","slug":"when-youre-doing-everything-right-and-the-scale-still-wont-move","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2025\/10\/when-youre-doing-everything-right-and-the-scale-still-wont-move.html","title":{"rendered":"When You\u2019re Doing Everything Right and the Scale Still Won\u2019t Move"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/258\/2025\/10\/ai-generated-9104188_1280.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-25868\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/258\/2025\/10\/ai-generated-9104188_1280.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1280\" height=\"853\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p><em>\u201cI am frustrated. I\u2019ve cut way back on eating and still not losing weight.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Does this sound familiar? Many people share this same struggle. While the basic principle of weight loss\u2014<em>eat less, move more<\/em>\u2014is true in theory, real-life weight loss is far more complex. Sometimes, the key isn\u2019t about calories\u2014it\u2019s about your relationship with food.<\/p>\n<p>Take Ann, for example. Six months ago, she joined Weight Watchers and committed to a regular exercise routine. Yet, despite her efforts, the scale barely moved. Frustrated, she decided to work with a therapist to figure out why.<\/p>\n<p>What Ann discovered surprised her. Her daily thoughts were consumed with dieting and exercise. She realized she often ate not because she was hungry, but because she was stressed or upset. Thinking about food was easier than thinking about conflict with people she loved. And over time, her relationship with food had turned negative\u2014food had become the\u00a0<em>enemy<\/em>, something to fight, fear, or restrict rather than enjoy.<\/p>\n<p>To change this mindset, Ann read my book\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Press-Pause-Before-You-Eat\/dp\/1439148643\/ref=sr_1_1?dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.isXxuqs_8SGp9Auvs1H_4Q.PNeBmt9uMsE7vW4orbaArWXULfP_Qo40EYuDkVHmhnE&amp;dib_tag=se&amp;hvadid=695457690436&amp;hvdev=c&amp;hvexpln=67&amp;hvlocphy=9026565&amp;hvnetw=g&amp;hvocijid=6356412229117626246--&amp;hvqmt=e&amp;hvrand=6356412229117626246&amp;hvtargid=kwd-312006252412&amp;hydadcr=15526_13558562&amp;keywords=press+pause+before+you+eat&amp;mcid=b44fe2a2fbe33be1aa3d271e102fb734&amp;qid=1759675669&amp;s=books&amp;sr=1-1\"><em>Press Pause Before You Eat<\/em>,<\/a> which teaches that eating should be a joyful and nourishing experience\u2014not a battle. God designed food to sustain and bless us, not to serve as a source of guilt or self-punishment.<\/p>\n<p><strong>The Shift: From Fighting Food to Enjoying It<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Ann began by learning to distinguish\u00a0physical hunger\u00a0from\u00a0emotional hunger.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Physical hunger<\/strong>\u00a0is a biological signal\u2014stomach growling, low energy, irritability\u2014that your body needs fuel.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Emotional hunger<\/strong>\u00a0often appears suddenly, is linked to specific cravings, and tends to arise from stress, loneliness, or frustration.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>By tuning in to her body\u2019s cues, Ann could tell when she truly needed to eat and when she was trying to soothe uncomfortable emotions.<\/p>\n<p>Next, she changed\u00a0<em>how<\/em>\u00a0she ate. Instead of grabbing food in her car or eating while distracted in front of the TV, Ann began to eat slowly, at her kitchen table, using her best dishes. She focused on creating a calm, pleasant environment, enjoying each bite as an act of gratitude. Neuroscience research supports this practice: slowing down and being mindful at meals allows your brain\u2019s satiety centers\u2014particularly the hypothalamus and prefrontal cortex\u2014to register fullness more accurately, reducing overeating.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Understanding the Meaning Behind Food<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>We also explored the deeper meaning food had in Ann\u2019s life. For her, food was a way to\u00a0reduce stress, not to\u00a0nourish herself. To change that, she learned healthier coping strategies\u2014prayer, breathing techniques, journaling, and assertive communication\u2014to manage difficult emotions instead of eating them.<\/p>\n<p>Ann also learned to notice environmental eating cues\u2014the size of her plate, background music tempo, or even visible snacks on her counter. Research shows these small factors can unconsciously affect how much we eat. Simple changes\u2014like using smaller plates or keeping tempting foods out of sight\u2014helped her eat with more intention.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Healing the Deeper Issue: Relationship Stress<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Perhaps the most transformative insight came when Ann connected her eating urges to relationship stress. By keeping a daily food and emotion journal, she noticed a clear pattern: she ate when she felt lonely, rejected, or angry. Food had become her way of\u00a0<em>soothing<\/em>\u00a0relationship pain.<\/p>\n<p>Her new goal became:\u00a0Eat with people, not because of them.<\/p>\n<p>As Ann developed healthier communication and problem-solving skills, she became more confident addressing conflict directly rather than avoiding it. She also practiced the Serenity Prayer\u2014asking God for the strength to accept what she could not change and the courage to change what she could.<\/p>\n<p><strong>The Results<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Over time, Ann\u2019s relationship with food healed. She spent less energy obsessing over calories and more time addressing the root causes of her emotional eating\u2014stress and unresolved relationship issues. Weight Watchers continued to help her make wise food choices, but now her choices were driven by physical hunger, not emotional pain.<\/p>\n<p>The result wasn\u2019t just weight loss\u2014it was freedom.<\/p>\n<p>If you\u2019re struggling to lose weight despite your best efforts, pause and look deeper. Food isn\u2019t the enemy\u2014it\u2019s often the messenger. Pay attention to what your cravings and eating habits might be telling you about your emotions, your relationships, and your need for peace.<\/p>\n<p>When we heal our relationship with food and learn to manage stress God\u2019s way, the body and soul both find balance. Eating becomes what it was meant to be\u2014an act of nourishment, gratitude, and joy.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u201cI am frustrated. I\u2019ve cut way back on eating and still not losing weight.\u201d Does this sound familiar? Many people share this same struggle. While the basic principle of weight loss\u2014eat less, move more\u2014is true in theory, real-life weight loss is far more complex. Sometimes, the key isn\u2019t about calories\u2014it\u2019s about your relationship with food.&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":419,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[29,9329,9332,9326,30],"class_list":["post-25865","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-dieting","tag-food-battle","tag-relationship-stress","tag-relationship-with-food","tag-weight-loss"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>When You\u2019re Doing Everything Right and the Scale Still Won\u2019t Move<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Eat less, move more\u2014is true in theory; weight loss is far more complex.The key isn\u2019t about calories\u2014it\u2019s about your relationship with food.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?p=25865\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"When You\u2019re Doing Everything Right and the Scale Still Won\u2019t Move\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Eat less, move more\u2014is true in theory; weight loss is far more complex.The key isn\u2019t about calories\u2014it\u2019s about your relationship with food.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?p=25865\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Doing Life Together\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:author\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/drlindamintle\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2025-10-16T12:00:21+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2025-10-11T18:15:31+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/258\/2025\/10\/ai-generated-9104188_1280.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Linda Mintle\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@drlindamintle\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"When You\u2019re Doing Everything Right and the Scale Still Won\u2019t Move","description":"Eat less, move more\u2014is true in theory; 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Her media experience includes seven years as the resident expert for ABC Family\u2019s Living the Life television show and regular appearances on network television and radio. It is often said that being with Dr. Linda is like having coffee with a friend. She makes the complicated issues of relationships and mental health easy to understand and applicable to everyday living. The ease she has with people, coupled with her clinical training and experience makes her a sought-after speaker on college campuses, conferences and special events. Whether she is doing a TV skit with Tim Conway or discussing teen violence with Queen Latifa, Dr. Linda will entertain, educate and integrate faith and mental health in everyday living. 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