{"id":24947,"date":"2025-03-11T08:00:57","date_gmt":"2025-03-11T12:00:57","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?p=24947"},"modified":"2025-03-08T07:48:26","modified_gmt":"2025-03-08T12:48:26","slug":"the-unseen-elderly-a-call-for-compassion-in-the-church","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2025\/03\/the-unseen-elderly-a-call-for-compassion-in-the-church.html","title":{"rendered":"The Unseen Elderly: A Call for Compassion in the Church"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

My father was always a laid-back man. It took a lot to upset him, and confrontation was never his style. But when my mom became seriously ill, he reached a point where he couldn\u2019t stay silent anymore. He decided to have a conversation with their pastor.<\/p>\n

Before my mom passed away, she spent several months in hospice care at a nursing home. During that time, my dad and our family reached out to the pastor, asking if he could visit her. After all, the nursing home was only a few miles from the church, and my parents had been faithful members for over 60 years. My mom had served as the church pianist, and my dad was involved as an usher, board member, and treasurer. They hosted missionaries and cooked for church events. They were pillars in that community.<\/p>\n

Yet, despite all the years of dedication, their request was ignored. No one from the church came to visit my mom.<\/p>\n

In response, my dad, frustrated but calm, took the pastor out for breakfast. He told him, point-blank, that the lack of pastoral care was unacceptable. The pastor laughed awkwardly, promised to do better, and assured my dad that he would take him out for breakfast again. My dad, hoping for a change, left the meeting thinking things would improve. They didn\u2019t.<\/p>\n

My father continued attending church every Sunday and remained active in his senior group, but the pastor never called. Not once. And this was a pastor who, mind you, worked at a church just blocks away from my dad\u2019s house.<\/p>\n

For an entire year, not a single phone call came. The pastor never took my dad to breakfast as promised. It wasn\u2019t just disappointing\u2014it was deeply hurtful.<\/p>\n

As a family, we eventually accepted that our efforts to change the church\u2019s disregard for its elderly members were futile. My brother, also a pastor, sat down with the church\u2019s pastor. I confronted him as well. Even my aunt begged him to visit the elderly, to at least show a little care. Each time, he promised to do better, but nothing changed.<\/p>\n

That, to me, was the most disturbing part: the empty promises. Don\u2019t tell us you\u2019ll visit and then never follow through. If you don\u2019t want to offer pastoral care, just be honest about it.<\/p>\n

It wouldn\u2019t have taken much effort to brighten my dad\u2019s day or make him feel cared for by his pastor. To my father\u2019s generation, these gestures of care meant everything. And the pastor, knowing how much his attention would\u2019ve meant to this faithful man, still chose not to act. This was a small town where families had been in the church for generations, serving without hesitation. It\u2019s heartbreaking that something so simple\u2014just a visit, a phone call\u2014was withheld.<\/p>\n

In an age where churches focus on big numbers and tithes to keep the lights on, the elderly and the sick are often overlooked. They\u2019re seen as a drain on resources, and sadly, the faithful who have served for decades are forgotten. Yet, the Bible reminds us in James 1:27 that \u201cReligion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019m grateful that in my parents\u2019 case, others stepped in. My dad\u2019s senior group cared for each other, offering the companionship and support he needed. But how many elderly people in churches across the country don\u2019t have that same support? How many are left to feel forgotten?<\/p>\n

The church needs to do better. We need to care for the elderly and the sick. This group is in desperate need of our attention. And one day, we will be the ones hoping that others don\u2019t forget about us.<\/p>\n

So, talk to your pastors. Organize groups to visit the elderly and those in nursing homes. Do what you can to care for the often-forgotten members of your church community.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

My father was always a laid-back man. It took a lot to upset him, and confrontation was never his style. But when my mom became seriously ill, he reached a point where he couldn\u2019t stay silent anymore. He decided to have a conversation with their pastor. Before my mom passed away, she spent several months…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":419,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[916],"tags":[8726,8729,353,1030,8732,352,8723,8738,8735,354,109],"class_list":["post-24947","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-god-relationship","tag-care-for-the-elderly","tag-church-ministry","tag-churches","tag-compassion","tag-elder-care","tag-elderly","tag-elderly-and-the-church","tag-ministers","tag-pastoral-services","tag-pastors","tag-service"],"yoast_head":"\nThe Unseen Elderly: A Call for Compassion in the Church<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"In an age where churches focus on big numbers and tithes to keep the lights on, the elderly and the sick are often overlooked.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, 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