{"id":24276,"date":"2024-11-07T08:00:41","date_gmt":"2024-11-07T13:00:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?p=24276"},"modified":"2024-10-20T09:35:50","modified_gmt":"2024-10-20T13:35:50","slug":"adult-children-of-divorce-5-relationship-impacts","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2024\/11\/adult-children-of-divorce-5-relationship-impacts.html","title":{"rendered":"Adult Children of Divorce: 5 Relationship Impacts"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Divorce is a common experience, and even when it unfolds without drama, it can have profound effects on children that often go unrecognized. The fallout of divorce on children, particularly on adult children of divorce is important to acknowledge as there are consequences that may play a role in our current relationships<\/p>\n

There are common traits that do emerge with adult children of divorce:<\/p>\n

Trust Issues:<\/strong> It\u2019s no surprise that trusting others can be challenging when you\u2019ve witnessed your parents\u2019 separation. Trust is foundational in all relationships, and once it\u2019s broken, it can be difficult to rebuild. Divorce can jeopardize this essential element, leaving you feeling unsettled. If you can\u2019t rely on the two most important people in your life to get along, it\u2019s hard to extend that trust to others. You might find yourself hesitating to open up to new relationships, fearing that you could be hurt again. This uncertainty may also lead you to question the honesty and commitment in your current connections.<\/p>\n

Fear of Abandonment:<\/strong> This fear can run deep for adult children of divorce. When you enter a relationship, the anxiety of potential abandonment might linger in the back of your mind. The lesson learned from your parents\u2019 divorce\u2014that love can falter or that conflict can lead to permanent separation\u2014can create an underlying fear that your own relationships may follow the same path.<\/p>\n

Ongoing grief:<\/strong> One research project I examined highlighted a significant insight: children of divorce often experience a sense of lifelong grief, suggesting that the impact of divorce never truly ends for them. I found that notion quite profound. One individual articulated it this way: while a parent may have the opportunity to start anew with a new spouse, for the child, their world remains forever divided. There\u2019s no opportunity for a fresh beginning; instead, their experiences become complicated and fractured. Divorce is not just a one-time event; it creates an ever-widening gap filled with ongoing change.<\/p>\n

Self-blame:<\/strong> Children often interpret a breakup in a way that leads to self-blame. How often do we hear them say, “It\u2019s my fault,” even when it clearly isn\u2019t? \u00a0Children struggle to understand why people who supposedly love each other can\u2019t resolve their differences, which can lead them to believe they are the problem. They often question their own role in the divorce, which can deeply affect their self-worth. They might think, “My parents didn\u2019t love me enough to stay together.” This self-doubt can have lasting implications on their emotional well-being.<\/p>\n

Struggle with conflict:<\/strong> This is understandable, as many children witness their parents failing to manage conflict effectively. They often see heated arguments, yelling, and fighting, which sets a poor example for resolving disagreements. It\u2019s important for them to learn how to navigate conflict in a healthy way. I often encourage adult children of divorce to seek out couples who handle conflict constructively and to look to them as role models. By observing positive interactions, they can develop better strategies for their own relationships.<\/p>\n

Now, just because your parents’ relationship didn\u2019t work out, it doesn\u2019t mean yours will fail. Being aware of the potential consequences and challenges you may face is the first step toward working through them and finding healing.<\/p>\n

I believe that the most profound healing comes from the Lord. You can grieve your losses in His presence and bring your burdens to Him. This process involves acknowledging the pain and wounds you\u2019ve experienced, and then entrusting those feelings to God for healing.<\/p>\n

\n
\n
\n
\n

Trust in the One who never leaves or forsakes you and is always present. You don\u2019t have to carry the burden of your parents\u2019 divorce any longer\u2014simply lay it at the feet of Jesus. Remember to see yourself as God sees you. He loves you so much that He gave His life for you. Place your trust in Him and believe in His promises. God is unchanging and cannot violate His promises. He will never let you down or disappoint you<\/p>\n

God heals the brokenhearted, restores faith to the disenchanted, and loves unconditionally. You can trust the One who loves you perfectly. Bring your fears, hurts, and anxieties to Him, and allow His healing power to transform your life.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

\n
\n
If you need professional help to address issues related to being an adult child of divorce, find a Christian marriage and family therapist (LMFT) who can work you through the process. the combination of faith and counseling is powerful to break the pattern of divorce.<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Help with conflict from Dr. Linda, We Need to Talk<\/a><\/div>\n

\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Divorce is a common experience, and even when it unfolds without drama, it can have profound effects on children that often go unrecognized. The fallout of divorce on children, particularly on adult children of divorce is important to acknowledge as there are consequences that may play a role in our current relationships There are common…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":419,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[914],"tags":[8391,1508,503,132,8394,851,8397,1398],"class_list":["post-24276","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-family-relationships-2","tag-adult-children-of-divorce","tag-children-and-divorce","tag-conflict","tag-divorce","tag-fear-of-endowment","tag-grief","tag-self-blame","tag-trust"],"yoast_head":"\nAdult Children of Divorce: 5 Relationship Impacts<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Divorce is a common experience and can have profound effects on adult children of divorce that often go unrecognized.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?p=24276\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Adult Children of Divorce: 5 Relationship Impacts\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Divorce is a common experience and can have profound effects on adult children of divorce that often go unrecognized.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?p=24276\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Doing Life Together\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:author\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/drlindamintle\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2024-11-07T13:00:41+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2024-10-20T13:35:50+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/258\/2024\/10\/silhouette-5726230_1280.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Linda Mintle\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@drlindamintle\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Adult Children of Divorce: 5 Relationship Impacts","description":"Divorce is a common experience and can have profound effects on adult children of divorce that often go unrecognized.","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?p=24276","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Adult Children of Divorce: 5 Relationship Impacts","og_description":"Divorce is a common experience and can have profound effects on adult children of divorce that often go unrecognized.","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?p=24276","og_site_name":"Doing Life Together","article_author":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/drlindamintle\/","article_published_time":"2024-11-07T13:00:41+00:00","article_modified_time":"2024-10-20T13:35:50+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/258\/2024\/10\/silhouette-5726230_1280.jpg"}],"author":"Linda Mintle","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_creator":"@drlindamintle","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?p=24276","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?p=24276","name":"Adult Children of Divorce: 5 Relationship Impacts","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?p=24276#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?p=24276#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/258\/2024\/10\/silhouette-5726230_1280.jpg","datePublished":"2024-11-07T13:00:41+00:00","dateModified":"2024-10-20T13:35:50+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#\/schema\/person\/1e16a9c7332cfcc5b5d89e4ba3a36142"},"description":"Divorce is a common experience and can have profound effects on adult children of divorce that often go unrecognized.","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?p=24276#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?p=24276"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?p=24276#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/258\/2024\/10\/silhouette-5726230_1280.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/258\/2024\/10\/silhouette-5726230_1280.jpg"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?p=24276#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Adult Children of Divorce: 5 Relationship Impacts"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/","name":"Doing Life Together","description":"Relationship Doctor, Mental Health, Emotional Wellness, Relationship Advice & Entertainment","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#\/schema\/person\/1e16a9c7332cfcc5b5d89e4ba3a36142","name":"Linda Mintle","description":"It is rare that a trained academic who speaks passionately to the heart of people providing real answers to real life problems is so relatable. Dr. Linda\u2019s fun personality and expertise comes through whether she\u2019s helping her audience stress less or make peace with their thighs! Dr. Linda has her Ph.D. in Urban Health and Clinical Psychology and is a national expert on mental health. She has specialized in the treatment of eating disorders, anxiety, depression and pain management. With 30 years of clinical experience working with couples, families and individuals, she brings her common-sense approach to people who want to live in positive mental health. Dr. Linda is also a bestselling author with 21 book titles to her credit, a radio host of the Dr. Linda Mintle show, professor, national speaker, winner of the Mom\u2019s Choice Award, a national news consultant, featured writer for Beliefnet and hosts her own website. Her academic appointments keep her abreast of current research in her areas of expertise. Her media experience includes seven years as the resident expert for ABC Family\u2019s Living the Life television show and regular appearances on network television and radio. It is often said that being with Dr. Linda is like having coffee with a friend. She makes the complicated issues of relationships and mental health easy to understand and applicable to everyday living. The ease she has with people, coupled with her clinical training and experience makes her a sought-after speaker on college campuses, conferences and special events. Whether she is doing a TV skit with Tim Conway or discussing teen violence with Queen Latifa, Dr. Linda will entertain, educate and integrate faith and mental health in everyday living. Check out her latest book Hope and Healing for Anxiety, a whole-person approach to eliminate anxiety. .","sameAs":["https:\/\/drlindamintle.com\/","https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/drlindamintle\/","https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/drlindamintle\/","https:\/\/x.com\/drlindamintle"],"url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/author\/lmintle"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24276","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/419"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=24276"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24276\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":24300,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24276\/revisions\/24300"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=24276"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=24276"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=24276"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}