{"id":24045,"date":"2024-10-01T08:00:49","date_gmt":"2024-10-01T12:00:49","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?p=24045"},"modified":"2024-09-19T16:50:06","modified_gmt":"2024-09-19T20:50:06","slug":"the-power-of-listening-to-build-relationships","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2024\/10\/the-power-of-listening-to-build-relationships.html","title":{"rendered":"The Power of Listening to Build Relationships"},"content":{"rendered":"<p style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/258\/2024\/09\/people-2557451_1280.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-24051\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/258\/2024\/09\/people-2557451_1280.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1280\" height=\"854\" \/><\/a>Have you heard the old Jewish Proverb that says, <em>&#8220;No one is as deaf as the man who will not listen.\u201d\u00a0<\/em><em>It\u2019s so true. If you don\u2019t have good listening skills, you will struggle in life. <\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Listening is such a vital relationship skill that numerous books have been dedicated to it. When people truly listen, it fosters a sense of understanding and makes the speaker feel valued. It conveys genuine interest and care, creating a deeper connection. Because of its profound impact, effective listening can either strengthen or undermine relationships.<\/p>\n<p style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In Stephen Covey\u2019s classic book,\u00a0<em>The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People<\/em>, one of his core principles is, \u201cSeek first to understand, then to be understood.\u201d This emphasizes the importance of truly listening to others instead of just planning your response. By focusing on understanding their perspective first, you foster more meaningful and effective communication.<\/p>\n<p style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you are not convinced as to how important listening is, here is a sample of what the Bible has to say, \u201cMy dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be <strong>quick to listen<\/strong>, slow to speak and slow to become angry,\u2026(James 1:19). Proverbs 18:13 reminds us not to answer before listening. When we do, it is \u201cfolly and shame.\u201d<\/p>\n<p style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Bonhoeffer connects the act of listening to others with the practice of listening to God. \u201cHe who can no longer listen to his brother will soon be no longer listening to God either; he will be doing nothing but prattle in the presence of God too. This is the beginning of the death of the spiritual life\u2026 Anyone who thinks that his time is too valuable to spend keeping quiet will eventually have no time for God and his brother, but only for himself and for his own follies.\u201d<\/p>\n<p style=\"font-weight: 400;\">To hone your listening skills, here are 5 tips:<\/p>\n<ol>\n<li>To deepen your understanding of someone, ask open-ended questions instead of yes-or-no questions. This approach allows you to discover much more about the person\u2019s thoughts and feelings.<\/li>\n<li>Use reflection statements like, \u201cIt sounds like\u2026\u201d or \u201cWhat I\u2019m hearing is\u2026\u201d to repeat what you\u2019ve heard. This shows that you\u2019re engaged and truly listening.<\/li>\n<li>At the end of your conversation, summarize what you\u2019ve discussed. This gives the other person a chance to validate or clarify your understanding, ensuring accuracy in communication.<\/li>\n<li>Avoid interrupting. Let the person express their thoughts and emotions fully before seeking clarification on anything that isn\u2019t clear.<\/li>\n<li>Remember that listening goes beyond words\u2014pay attention to nonverbal cues as well. If their body language doesn\u2019t align with their words, pause, and inquire about the disconnect.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Once you develop strong listening skills, there will be moments when the most impactful thing you can do is simply listen to someone who is hurting or needs to express themselves. Lean in, make eye contact, and be present for their pain. This act alone can provide significant healing and comfort. By practicing the art of listening, you can harness its power to enhance all your relationships, including your connection with God.<\/p>\n<p style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Have you heard the old Jewish Proverb that says, &#8220;No one is as deaf as the man who will not listen.\u201d\u00a0It\u2019s so true. If you don\u2019t have good listening skills, you will struggle in life. Listening is such a vital relationship skill that numerous books have been dedicated to it. When people truly listen, it&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":419,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[913,914,917],"tags":[8298,8304,942,941,8301,1726,8295,53],"class_list":["post-24045","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-couple-relationships","category-family-relationships-2","category-friend-relationships","tag-being-heard","tag-build-relationships","tag-communication","tag-couples-communication","tag-effective-communication","tag-healthy-relationships","tag-listening","tag-relationships"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>The Power of Listening to Build Relationships<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Effective listening can strengthen or undermine relationships. When people truly listen, it fosters a sense of understanding. Here is how.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?p=24045\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The Power of Listening to Build Relationships\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Effective listening can strengthen or undermine relationships. When people truly listen, it fosters a sense of understanding. Here is how.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?p=24045\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Doing Life Together\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:author\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/drlindamintle\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2024-10-01T12:00:49+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2024-09-19T20:50:06+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/258\/2024\/09\/people-2557451_1280.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Linda Mintle\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@drlindamintle\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"The Power of Listening to Build Relationships","description":"Effective listening can strengthen or undermine relationships. When people truly listen, it fosters a sense of understanding. Here is how.","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?p=24045","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"The Power of Listening to Build Relationships","og_description":"Effective listening can strengthen or undermine relationships. When people truly listen, it fosters a sense of understanding. Here is how.","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?p=24045","og_site_name":"Doing Life Together","article_author":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/drlindamintle\/","article_published_time":"2024-10-01T12:00:49+00:00","article_modified_time":"2024-09-19T20:50:06+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/258\/2024\/09\/people-2557451_1280.jpg"}],"author":"Linda Mintle","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_creator":"@drlindamintle","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?p=24045","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?p=24045","name":"The Power of Listening to Build Relationships","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?p=24045#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?p=24045#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/258\/2024\/09\/people-2557451_1280.jpg","datePublished":"2024-10-01T12:00:49+00:00","dateModified":"2024-09-19T20:50:06+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#\/schema\/person\/1e16a9c7332cfcc5b5d89e4ba3a36142"},"description":"Effective listening can strengthen or undermine relationships. When people truly listen, it fosters a sense of understanding. Here is how.","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?p=24045#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?p=24045"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?p=24045#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/258\/2024\/09\/people-2557451_1280.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/258\/2024\/09\/people-2557451_1280.jpg"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?p=24045#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"The Power of Listening to Build Relationships"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/","name":"Doing Life Together","description":"Relationship Doctor, Mental Health, Emotional Wellness, Relationship Advice &amp; Entertainment","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#\/schema\/person\/1e16a9c7332cfcc5b5d89e4ba3a36142","name":"Linda Mintle","description":"It is rare that a trained academic who speaks passionately to the heart of people providing real answers to real life problems is so relatable. Dr. Linda\u2019s fun personality and expertise comes through whether she\u2019s helping her audience stress less or make peace with their thighs! Dr. Linda has her Ph.D. in Urban Health and Clinical Psychology and is a national expert on mental health. She has specialized in the treatment of eating disorders, anxiety, depression and pain management. With 30 years of clinical experience working with couples, families and individuals, she brings her common-sense approach to people who want to live in positive mental health. Dr. Linda is also a bestselling author with 21 book titles to her credit, a radio host of the Dr. Linda Mintle show, professor, national speaker, winner of the Mom\u2019s Choice Award, a national news consultant, featured writer for Beliefnet and hosts her own website. Her academic appointments keep her abreast of current research in her areas of expertise. Her media experience includes seven years as the resident expert for ABC Family\u2019s Living the Life television show and regular appearances on network television and radio. It is often said that being with Dr. Linda is like having coffee with a friend. She makes the complicated issues of relationships and mental health easy to understand and applicable to everyday living. The ease she has with people, coupled with her clinical training and experience makes her a sought-after speaker on college campuses, conferences and special events. Whether she is doing a TV skit with Tim Conway or discussing teen violence with Queen Latifa, Dr. Linda will entertain, educate and integrate faith and mental health in everyday living. Check out her latest book Hope and Healing for Anxiety, a whole-person approach to eliminate anxiety. .","sameAs":["https:\/\/drlindamintle.com\/","https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/drlindamintle\/","https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/drlindamintle\/","https:\/\/x.com\/drlindamintle"],"url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/author\/lmintle"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24045","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/419"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=24045"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24045\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":24054,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24045\/revisions\/24054"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=24045"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=24045"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=24045"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}