{"id":23973,"date":"2024-10-10T08:00:55","date_gmt":"2024-10-10T12:00:55","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?p=23973"},"modified":"2024-09-30T17:15:44","modified_gmt":"2024-09-30T21:15:44","slug":"5-things-that-will-upset-your-partner","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2024\/10\/5-things-that-will-upset-your-partner.html","title":{"rendered":"5 Things That Will Upset Your Partner"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_24132\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-24132\" style=\"width: 1200px\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/258\/2024\/10\/unhappy-couple-fight_credit-Adobe-Stock.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-24132\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/258\/2024\/10\/unhappy-couple-fight_credit-Adobe-Stock.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1200\" height=\"900\" \/><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-24132\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Adobe Stock<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>Every couple knows that certain topics can ignite a spark\u2014some lead to deep conversations, while others can turn into heated debates. If you&#8217;re looking to ruffle some feathers or simply test the waters of your partner&#8217;s patience, I\u2019ve compiled a list of classic conversation starters and responses that are sure to elicit a reaction. But be warned: these phrases may lead to more than just a lively discussion! Choose your words wisely, and prepare for the fallout.<\/p>\n<p><strong>1) We need to talk.<\/strong> Yes, it\u2019s also the title of one of my books! While this phrase is often essential for navigating relationship challenges, it\u2019s rarely greeted with enthusiasm. For many, those four words signal an impending problem\u2014one that might be uncomfortable to discuss. Although it can be unsettling, initiating this conversation is crucial for fostering intimacy and resolving issues. So, go ahead and use the phrase, but don\u2019t expect your partner to be overjoyed! It\u2019s a necessary step in working through any difficulties together.<\/p>\n<p><strong>2) I may have thrown it away. I don&#8217;t remember. \u00a0<\/strong>This vague response can raise red flags. Are you genuinely unsure, or were you secretly hoping to get rid of something you didn\u2019t want cluttering the house? Honesty is key here. Disposing of that beloved leather ball, the snug college shirt, or that worn-out coat might have been intentional, but you likely expected a backlash. Instead, try being direct: \u201cI did throw it away. Are you upset?\u201d Even better, consider asking upfront, \u201cI want to get rid of this\u2014are you okay with that?\u201d This approach opens the door for a more constructive conversation.<\/p>\n<p><strong>3) Would you ever marry if something happened to me, and who would that be? <\/strong>This question rarely leads to a productive conversation, so it\u2019s best to avoid it altogether. If something were to happen to you, you wouldn\u2019t be there to witness the outcome, making the speculation pointless. Plus, contemplating who your partner might end up with can stir up feelings of insecurity and jealousy. In this case, it\u2019s definitely a \u201cdon\u2019t ask, don\u2019t tell\u201d situation!<\/p>\n<p><strong>4) Are you gaining weight?<\/strong> This question is rarely appropriate. While asking about weight loss might be well-intentioned, questioning someone about weight gain can be hurtful. If the answer is \u201cyes,\u201d they\u2019re likely already feeling self-conscious and don\u2019t need any additional reminders. If the answer is \u201cno,\u201d it can still come off as an unintentional jab. It\u2019s best to keep such thoughts to yourself and focus on supporting your partner in a more positive way.<\/p>\n<p><strong>5) Admit it, your mother doesn&#8217;t like me. <\/strong>This statement is fraught with tension and can lead to unnecessary conflict. Instead of putting your partner on the spot, focus on fostering a healthier relationship. If you sense that their mother is not fond of you, encourage your partner to address the issue based on their own perceptions, rather than voicing your own opinions. It\u2019s best to stay out of the middle and support your partner in navigating their relationship struggles. If the topic arises, ask them what makes them feel that way about their mother. This opens up a dialogue where you can explore underlying reasons and find constructive ways to address them together.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&nbsp; Every couple knows that certain topics can ignite a spark\u2014some lead to deep conversations, while others can turn into heated debates. If you&#8217;re looking to ruffle some feathers or simply test the waters of your partner&#8217;s patience, I\u2019ve compiled a list of classic conversation starters and responses that are sure to elicit a reaction.&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":419,"featured_media":24132,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[913],"tags":[503,2225,2025,635,2282,1000,53,8325,3227,8328],"class_list":["post-23973","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-couple-relationships","tag-conflict","tag-couples-conflict","tag-couples-relationships","tag-gain-weight","tag-in-laws","tag-relationship-problems","tag-relationships","tag-upset-partner","tag-we-need-to-talk","tag-what-not-to-say"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>5 Things That Will Upset 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