{"id":22742,"date":"2024-04-04T08:00:08","date_gmt":"2024-04-04T12:00:08","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?p=22742"},"modified":"2024-03-23T09:40:38","modified_gmt":"2024-03-23T13:40:38","slug":"count-the-costs-of-premarital-sex","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2024\/04\/count-the-costs-of-premarital-sex.html","title":{"rendered":"Count the Costs of Premarital Sex"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/258\/2024\/03\/couple-1934204_1280.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-22874\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/258\/2024\/03\/couple-1934204_1280.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1280\" height=\"853\" \/><\/a>Rachel and John eagerly engaged in our premarital counseling sessions. As we waded through the battery of premarital inventories and family background, sex was next on our list.<\/p>\n<p>This couple, like many I have counseled, was sexually active prior to meeting each other. Although committed to abstinence this time around, past sexual activity has taken a toll on their relationship contrary to what media and pop culture portray.<\/p>\n<p>One of my questions in doing a sexual history (premarital or anytime) is, \u201cDo either of you have any sexually transmitted diseases (STDs)?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>In Rachel and John&#8217;s case, both hesitated a moment. Neither had been tested. Both were aware that some STDs are silent, meaning there are no noticeable symptoms. Since statistics tell us that one out of two sexually active people will contract a STD by the age of 25, they&#8217;re at risk and were embarrassed. Though repentant and forgiven, emotions still ran high. The consequences of casual sex are rarely talked about or shown in media.<\/p>\n<p>According to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), 22.5 million cases of STDs were reported in the United States. \u00a0And while half of that number represents people age 15-24, 15% of new cases are now seen in people over 50. The numbers are staggering with an estimated one in four sexually active Americans contracting a STD at least once in his or her life. If left untreated, STDs can lead to birth defects, blindness, bone deformities, cancer, heart disease, infertility, pelvic inflammatory disease, stillbirths, chronic pain, intellectual disability and even death.<\/p>\n<p>Of course, sex outside of marriage can also result in pregnancy. The notion of \u201csafe-sex\u201d is a lie that has been perpetrated in our culture for decades. Just ask one of the one million teens who will become pregnant in the coming year. Sadly, one-third of those pregnancies will end in abortion, which creates a new set of emotional scars.<\/p>\n<p>And while Hollywood continues to parade it\u2019s A-list of unwed women sporting swollen bellies, the best interests of the unborn go unnoticed. Researchers tell us that these children will be twice as likely to suffer psychiatric problems, twice as likely to drop out of school or become teenage parents, and will be more economically disadvantaged than those raised in intact two parent families.<\/p>\n<p>Overall, premarital sex comes with risk, heartache and relationship challenges. This doesn&#8217;t mean that those challenges can&#8217;t be overcome, but don&#8217;t be lulled into the idea that premarital sex has no costs.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Rachel and John eagerly engaged in our premarital counseling sessions. As we waded through the battery of premarital inventories and family background, sex was next on our list. This couple, like many I have counseled, was sexually active prior to meeting each other. Although committed to abstinence this time around, past sexual activity has taken&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":419,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[913],"tags":[1895,7787,515,704],"class_list":["post-22742","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-couple-relationships","tag-casual-sex","tag-multiple-partners","tag-premarital-sex","tag-stds"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Count the Costs of Premarital Sex<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Premarital sex comes with risk, heartache and relationship challenges. Don&#039;t be lulled into the idea that premarital sex has no costs.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?p=22742\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Count the Costs of Premarital Sex\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Premarital sex comes with risk, heartache and relationship challenges. Don&#039;t be lulled into the idea that premarital sex has no costs.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?p=22742\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Doing Life Together\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:author\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/drlindamintle\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2024-04-04T12:00:08+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2024-03-23T13:40:38+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/258\/2024\/03\/couple-1934204_1280.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Linda Mintle\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@drlindamintle\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Count the Costs of Premarital Sex","description":"Premarital sex comes with risk, heartache and relationship challenges. 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Dr. Linda\u2019s fun personality and expertise comes through whether she\u2019s helping her audience stress less or make peace with their thighs! Dr. Linda has her Ph.D. in Urban Health and Clinical Psychology and is a national expert on mental health. She has specialized in the treatment of eating disorders, anxiety, depression and pain management. With 30 years of clinical experience working with couples, families and individuals, she brings her common-sense approach to people who want to live in positive mental health. Dr. Linda is also a bestselling author with 21 book titles to her credit, a radio host of the Dr. Linda Mintle show, professor, national speaker, winner of the Mom\u2019s Choice Award, a national news consultant, featured writer for Beliefnet and hosts her own website. Her academic appointments keep her abreast of current research in her areas of expertise. Her media experience includes seven years as the resident expert for ABC Family\u2019s Living the Life television show and regular appearances on network television and radio. It is often said that being with Dr. Linda is like having coffee with a friend. She makes the complicated issues of relationships and mental health easy to understand and applicable to everyday living. The ease she has with people, coupled with her clinical training and experience makes her a sought-after speaker on college campuses, conferences and special events. Whether she is doing a TV skit with Tim Conway or discussing teen violence with Queen Latifa, Dr. Linda will entertain, educate and integrate faith and mental health in everyday living. 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