{"id":22445,"date":"2024-01-23T10:13:37","date_gmt":"2024-01-23T15:13:37","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?p=22445"},"modified":"2024-01-23T10:13:37","modified_gmt":"2024-01-23T15:13:37","slug":"letting-go-of-hurtful-words","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2024\/01\/letting-go-of-hurtful-words.html","title":{"rendered":"Letting Go of Hurtful Words"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Words do hurt. Many of us have to de-program ourselves from negative messages that may or may not have been intended to hurt us or make us self-conscious but did. Hurtful words can impact our feelings of worth. You begin to doubt yourself and wonder if what is said is true about you.<\/p>\n

The good news is that we can learn to be Teflon when it comes to hurtful words. Yes, we acknowledge the sting of hurtful words. But we have a choice. Do we allow others to define us and have power over us or will we walk in truth? Now, by truth, I mean God’s truth.<\/p>\n

To walk in truth means not searching for approval from others. If you are a person of faith, God already approves you and assigns you worth for being created in His image. You don’t earn God’s approval through deeds or influence. He gives it freely and unconditionally. When that truth sinks in deep, it becomes the antidote to accepting hurtful words.<\/p>\n

Ask yourself this: Why is someone else’s opinion so important? Usually, it is because we didn’t get approval from parents or important people in our lives growing up. Negative life experiences can lay the ground work for doubt as well. This does make us want someone to affirm us. It is a loss, but it doesn\u2019t make you a victim. You don’t have to keep searching for worth. God already approves of you. He esteems you when others do not. C. S. Lewis reminds us in Mere Christianity<\/em>, \u201cUntil you have given up yourself to Him, you will not have a real self\u2026\u201d Your real self is the one God defines. As your Creator, He approves of your design.<\/p>\n

Affirmation in our culture is based on who you know, how much money and how many things you have and position-power, money and influence. But God’s kingdom doesn’t work like that. He is a caring Father who accepts you as you are. Yes, he desires you live in constant communication with Him, but His grace and mercy are part of the journey. And His approval should be all that matters. At the end of the day, if you can say, I pleased God in my actions, mind and heart today, this is what matters. If not, His grace will help move you forward in the life of faith. He is routing for you and looks at the heart, not the outward appearance. This is such a contrast to our culture.<\/p>\n

Finally, God often brings people into our lives as friends, mentors, coaches, teachers, or just special people who can be trusted and provide a basis for the love and kindness we may have missed growing up. These people are reminders of God’s care and concern for us.<\/p>\n

If you have been hurt by words, beaten down by those who tell you that you are not good enough, stop giving them power in your life. Look to the One who values you no matter what. Read his words to you in the Bible and saturate your mind with how God thinks about you–you are loved, cherished, not forgotten or abandoned, delighted over, a child of His, and more. Renew your mind daily with truth and stop listening to lies from broken or negative people.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Words do hurt. Many of us have to de-program ourselves from negative messages that may or may not have been intended to hurt us or make us self-conscious but did. Hurtful words can impact our feelings of worth. You begin to doubt yourself and wonder if what is said is true about you. The good…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":419,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[925],"tags":[2081,2813,194,7641,187,7638,3734],"class_list":["post-22445","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-mintle-mentions","tag-emotional-pain","tag-hurtful-words","tag-lies","tag-negative-people","tag-negative-self-image","tag-self-doubt","tag-sense-of-self"],"yoast_head":"\nLetting Go of Hurtful Words<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Words do hurt. We may have to de-program ourselves from negative messages that may or may not have been intended to hurt us but did.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, nofollow\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Letting Go of Hurtful Words\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Words do hurt. We may have to de-program ourselves from negative messages that may or may not have been intended to hurt us but did.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2024\/01\/letting-go-of-hurtful-words.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Doing Life Together\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:author\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/drlindamintle\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2024-01-23T15:13:37+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/258\/2024\/01\/child-1439468_1280.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Linda Mintle\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@drlindamintle\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Letting Go of Hurtful Words","description":"Words do hurt. We may have to de-program ourselves from negative messages that may or may not have been intended to hurt us but did.","robots":{"index":"noindex","follow":"nofollow"},"og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Letting Go of Hurtful Words","og_description":"Words do hurt. We may have to de-program ourselves from negative messages that may or may not have been intended to hurt us but did.","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2024\/01\/letting-go-of-hurtful-words.html","og_site_name":"Doing Life Together","article_author":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/drlindamintle\/","article_published_time":"2024-01-23T15:13:37+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/258\/2024\/01\/child-1439468_1280.jpg"}],"author":"Linda Mintle","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_creator":"@drlindamintle","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2024\/01\/letting-go-of-hurtful-words.html","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2024\/01\/letting-go-of-hurtful-words.html","name":"Letting Go of Hurtful Words","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2024\/01\/letting-go-of-hurtful-words.html#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2024\/01\/letting-go-of-hurtful-words.html#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/258\/2024\/01\/child-1439468_1280.jpg","datePublished":"2024-01-23T15:13:37+00:00","dateModified":"2024-01-23T15:13:37+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#\/schema\/person\/1e16a9c7332cfcc5b5d89e4ba3a36142"},"description":"Words do hurt. We may have to de-program ourselves from negative messages that may or may not have been intended to hurt us but did.","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2024\/01\/letting-go-of-hurtful-words.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2024\/01\/letting-go-of-hurtful-words.html"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2024\/01\/letting-go-of-hurtful-words.html#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/258\/2024\/01\/child-1439468_1280.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/258\/2024\/01\/child-1439468_1280.jpg"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2024\/01\/letting-go-of-hurtful-words.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Letting Go of Hurtful Words"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/","name":"Doing Life Together","description":"Relationship Doctor, Mental Health, Emotional Wellness, Relationship Advice & Entertainment","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#\/schema\/person\/1e16a9c7332cfcc5b5d89e4ba3a36142","name":"Linda Mintle","description":"It is rare that a trained academic who speaks passionately to the heart of people providing real answers to real life problems is so relatable. Dr. Linda\u2019s fun personality and expertise comes through whether she\u2019s helping her audience stress less or make peace with their thighs! Dr. Linda has her Ph.D. in Urban Health and Clinical Psychology and is a national expert on mental health. She has specialized in the treatment of eating disorders, anxiety, depression and pain management. With 30 years of clinical experience working with couples, families and individuals, she brings her common-sense approach to people who want to live in positive mental health. Dr. Linda is also a bestselling author with 21 book titles to her credit, a radio host of the Dr. Linda Mintle show, professor, national speaker, winner of the Mom\u2019s Choice Award, a national news consultant, featured writer for Beliefnet and hosts her own website. Her academic appointments keep her abreast of current research in her areas of expertise. Her media experience includes seven years as the resident expert for ABC Family\u2019s Living the Life television show and regular appearances on network television and radio. It is often said that being with Dr. Linda is like having coffee with a friend. She makes the complicated issues of relationships and mental health easy to understand and applicable to everyday living. The ease she has with people, coupled with her clinical training and experience makes her a sought-after speaker on college campuses, conferences and special events. Whether she is doing a TV skit with Tim Conway or discussing teen violence with Queen Latifa, Dr. Linda will entertain, educate and integrate faith and mental health in everyday living. Check out her latest book Hope and Healing for Anxiety, a whole-person approach to eliminate anxiety. .","sameAs":["https:\/\/drlindamintle.com\/","https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/drlindamintle\/","https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/drlindamintle\/","https:\/\/x.com\/drlindamintle"],"url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/author\/lmintle"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22445","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/419"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=22445"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22445\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":22614,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22445\/revisions\/22614"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=22445"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=22445"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=22445"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}