{"id":22340,"date":"2023-12-28T08:00:39","date_gmt":"2023-12-28T13:00:39","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?p=22340"},"modified":"2023-12-18T14:40:15","modified_gmt":"2023-12-18T19:40:15","slug":"change-wont-happen-without-these-2-things","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2023\/12\/change-wont-happen-without-these-2-things.html","title":{"rendered":"Change Won’t Happen Without These 2 Things"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

The \u00a0New Year is approaching and you might be thinking it’s time for a change. Maybe you want to lose those 10 pounds, quit smoking, limit social media, work on being more patient, etc. We all have something we want to change, but change is not easy.<\/p>\n

Too often, we begin the change process but quickly lose steam. Yuck, another failure. We think, why even bother? Why is this so hard? Maybe because you really aren’t ready for change. Change might be a good idea conceptually, but readiness to change needs to be assessed. So,\u00a0<\/span>before<\/em>\u00a0<\/span>you diet for the 20th<\/sup>\u00a0<\/span>time, or try to limit your screen time once again, ask these two important questions.<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. How important is the change?<\/b> Be honest. Are you doing this because someone else thinks you should, or because you feel guilty? To assess importance of a change, rate it on a scale from 1 to 10, with 1 being not important at all and 10 being the most important. If your rating is low (below a 5), you aren\u2019t ready. Lack of importance means your goal is a low priority. It\u2019s a set up for failure. For example, I asked a patient if he wanted to quit smoking. He said, \u201cNot really, but my wife wants me too.\u201d The more we talked, the more he told me that quitting smoking was not an important issue for him. He wasn\u2019t ready to give up smoking with all the stress he was experiencing and rated the importance as a 3.<\/li>\n
  2. \u00a0How confident are you that you can make a change? <\/b>Your motivation to change may be very important, but if you lack confidence to make the change, it is a set up for failure. To assess your confidence, use that same 1 to 10 scale. If your confidence number is low, change will be hard to make. Let\u2019s use our patient example again. Patient #2 tells me giving up smoking is a 9 out of 10 on the scale of importance. He really wants to stop. But, he rated his confidence to quit a 3 out of 10. His reason for low confidence was due to all his previous failed efforts to stop smoking. He needed a plan for success because he didn\u2019t want to fail again. And that plan included identifying the barriers and challenges to quitting.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Whatever it is that you want to change, it needs to be important and you need to feel confident to make it happen. Otherwise, you probably are not ready to move into action. One way to increase your readiness is to make a list of pros and cons for making a change. The pros should outweigh the cons. And the cons need to be considered, as they relate to your confidence.<\/p>\n

    And remember, pray and ask God for help if faith is a part of your life. You have the power of the Holy Spirit in you which should boost your confidence. God in us is a powerful change agent.<\/p>\n

    If change is important, don\u2019t get discourage or give up. If confidence is your issue, find ways to overcome the barriers to reaching your goals. And remember, most people don\u2019t change in a straight line, meaning there will be ups and downs to achieving success. The key is not to give up. If you have a setback, try again. Identify what got in your way of success.<\/p>\n

    Are you<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    The \u00a0New Year is approaching and you might be thinking it’s time for a change. Maybe you want to lose those 10 pounds, quit smoking, limit social media, work on being more patient, etc. We all have something we want to change, but change is not easy. Too often, we begin the change process but…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":419,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[925],"tags":[7565,15,7568,3142,4611],"class_list":["post-22340","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-mintle-mentions","tag-break-habits","tag-change","tag-confidence-to-change","tag-new-year","tag-readiness-for-change"],"yoast_head":"\nChange Won't Happen Without These 2 Things<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"The \u00a0New Year is approaching and you might be thinking it's time for a change. 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