{"id":20679,"date":"2023-03-09T09:00:49","date_gmt":"2023-03-09T14:00:49","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?p=20679"},"modified":"2023-03-05T09:56:38","modified_gmt":"2023-03-05T14:56:38","slug":"a-way-to-test-your-positive-or-negative-outlook","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2023\/03\/a-way-to-test-your-positive-or-negative-outlook.html","title":{"rendered":"A Way to Test Your Positive or Negative Outlook"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

When I do resiliency training, we do a short exercise. I put two chairs in the front of the room. Each chair represents a different outlook. One is a positive outlook, the other is negative. Then I give a series of challenges and ask the person seated in a chair to respond to those challenges depending on the chair they are sitting in. Next, they move to other chair and think about how they would respond to the same questions from the opposite outlook.<\/p>\n

The questions asked are minimally to moderately challenging. Here are several. I encourage you to try the exercise with these questions. How would you respond to these challenges in each chair?<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. The person at your favorite coffee shop cuts in line ahead of you and you are running late.<\/li>\n
  2. The person in the office next to you got a raise and you did not even though you worked harder and probably deserved one.<\/li>\n
  3. You could not find your keys and now you are late for an appointment.<\/li>\n
  4. You met a friend for dinner and she didn\u2019t tell you she was bringing another person along.<\/li>\n
  5. Your mother-in law told you she thinks you are spoiling your children.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    The difference between a positive and negative outlook is not ignoring negative realities, rather, in finding a way to remain positive.<\/p>\n

    Let’s take the coffee shop example: The negative outlook self-talk (or maybe even spoken) would be, “What a jerk! How self-centered.” Whereas the positive mindset might be, “Boy that person must be having a day. I don’t know what they are going through but I will give them the benefit of the doubt as I don’t know them.” You could even follow this by asking the person if there is some reason they felt the need to cut in line. This would tell you their thinking. I have found that sometimes people are oblivious, also in a hurry, or maybe just rude. Depending on the answer, you can be gracious. You can ask them if they would mind following the rules as you too are in a hurry. You could just allow grace. Either way, this positive outlook doesn’t mean you like the fact that they cut in front of you, but it changes your mood because it includes empathy and doesn’t simply assume the negative.<\/p>\n

    Why is this important? Because mood is influenced by thought and can make a difference in your attitude for the day. Yes, you may have to confront some of these issues, but you can do so with compassion and care. For example, you can say to your mother-in-law, “I am going to assume you said I spoil my children because you care about all of us. Thank you for your concern. We are doing our best.” Then drop it or have a calm discussion about her concerns.<\/p>\n

    I am not saying it is easy to keep a positive outlook. I am the first to admit this takes practice and renewing your mind. Our first response tendency, most often, is to go negative. But staying positive and optimistic with people will change your mood and disposition for the day. And sometimes you disarm people by your kindness and empathy. And that is a win win.<\/p>\n

    \n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    When I do resiliency training, we do a short exercise. I put two chairs in the front of the room. Each chair represents a different outlook. One is a positive outlook, the other is negative. Then I give a series of challenges and ask the person seated in a chair to respond to those challenges…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":419,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[925],"tags":[252,4377,203,4482,3424],"class_list":["post-20679","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-mintle-mentions","tag-hope","tag-mindset","tag-optimism","tag-positive-mindset","tag-positive-outlook"],"yoast_head":"\nA Way to Test Your Positive or Negative Outlook<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"The difference between a positive and negative outlook is not ignoring negative realities, but finding a way to remain positive.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?p=20679\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"A Way to Test Your Positive or Negative Outlook\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"The difference between a positive and negative outlook is not ignoring negative realities, but finding a way to remain positive.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?p=20679\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Doing Life Together\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:author\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/drlindamintle\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2023-03-09T14:00:49+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2023-03-05T14:56:38+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/258\/2023\/03\/field-328962_1280-scaled.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Linda Mintle\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@drlindamintle\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"A Way to Test Your Positive or Negative Outlook","description":"The difference between a positive and negative outlook is not ignoring negative realities, but finding a way to remain positive.","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?p=20679","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"A Way to Test Your Positive or Negative Outlook","og_description":"The difference between a positive and negative outlook is not ignoring negative realities, but finding a way to remain positive.","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?p=20679","og_site_name":"Doing Life Together","article_author":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/drlindamintle\/","article_published_time":"2023-03-09T14:00:49+00:00","article_modified_time":"2023-03-05T14:56:38+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/258\/2023\/03\/field-328962_1280-scaled.jpg"}],"author":"Linda Mintle","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_creator":"@drlindamintle","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?p=20679","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?p=20679","name":"A Way to Test Your Positive or Negative Outlook","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?p=20679#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?p=20679#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/258\/2023\/03\/field-328962_1280-scaled.jpg","datePublished":"2023-03-09T14:00:49+00:00","dateModified":"2023-03-05T14:56:38+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#\/schema\/person\/1e16a9c7332cfcc5b5d89e4ba3a36142"},"description":"The difference between a positive and negative outlook is not ignoring negative realities, but finding a way to remain positive.","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?p=20679#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?p=20679"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?p=20679#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/258\/2023\/03\/field-328962_1280-scaled.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/258\/2023\/03\/field-328962_1280-scaled.jpg"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?p=20679#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"A Way to Test Your Positive or Negative Outlook"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/","name":"Doing Life Together","description":"Relationship Doctor, Mental Health, Emotional Wellness, Relationship Advice & Entertainment","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#\/schema\/person\/1e16a9c7332cfcc5b5d89e4ba3a36142","name":"Linda Mintle","description":"It is rare that a trained academic who speaks passionately to the heart of people providing real answers to real life problems is so relatable. Dr. Linda\u2019s fun personality and expertise comes through whether she\u2019s helping her audience stress less or make peace with their thighs! Dr. Linda has her Ph.D. in Urban Health and Clinical Psychology and is a national expert on mental health. She has specialized in the treatment of eating disorders, anxiety, depression and pain management. With 30 years of clinical experience working with couples, families and individuals, she brings her common-sense approach to people who want to live in positive mental health. Dr. Linda is also a bestselling author with 21 book titles to her credit, a radio host of the Dr. Linda Mintle show, professor, national speaker, winner of the Mom\u2019s Choice Award, a national news consultant, featured writer for Beliefnet and hosts her own website. Her academic appointments keep her abreast of current research in her areas of expertise. Her media experience includes seven years as the resident expert for ABC Family\u2019s Living the Life television show and regular appearances on network television and radio. It is often said that being with Dr. Linda is like having coffee with a friend. She makes the complicated issues of relationships and mental health easy to understand and applicable to everyday living. The ease she has with people, coupled with her clinical training and experience makes her a sought-after speaker on college campuses, conferences and special events. Whether she is doing a TV skit with Tim Conway or discussing teen violence with Queen Latifa, Dr. Linda will entertain, educate and integrate faith and mental health in everyday living. Check out her latest book Hope and Healing for Anxiety, a whole-person approach to eliminate anxiety. .","sameAs":["https:\/\/drlindamintle.com\/","https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/drlindamintle\/","https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/drlindamintle\/","https:\/\/x.com\/drlindamintle"],"url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/author\/lmintle"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20679","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/419"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=20679"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20679\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":20754,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20679\/revisions\/20754"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=20679"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=20679"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=20679"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}