{"id":19318,"date":"2022-08-23T09:00:39","date_gmt":"2022-08-23T13:00:39","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?p=19318"},"modified":"2022-08-20T08:42:27","modified_gmt":"2022-08-20T12:42:27","slug":"is-gossip-really-a-big-deal","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2022\/08\/is-gossip-really-a-big-deal.html","title":{"rendered":"Is Gossip Really a Big Deal?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/258\/2022\/08\/gossip-g193b9f5ed_1920-scaled.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-19366 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/258\/2022\/08\/gossip-g193b9f5ed_1920-scaled.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"768\" height=\"512\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Gossip! No big deal, Right? Wrong!<\/p>\n<p style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In the middle of the book of Matthew are two verses that should give us all pause<strong>.\u00a0<\/strong>Matthew 12:36-37 says, \u201cBut I say to you that for every idle word men may speak, they will give account of it in the day of judgment.\u00a0For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Convicting, right?<\/p>\n<p style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Words are powerful. James 3 exhorts us to tame the tongue as it is a small member of the body capable of both blessing and cursing. Proverbs 21:23 directs us to use this instrument wisely, \u201cWhoever keeps his mouth and his tongue, keeps himself out of trouble.\u201d Careless words are part of gossip and the Bible has much to say about this type of talk. \u00a0Gossip is linked to those who did not acknowledge God and were given up to a debased mind (Romans 1:28-32). It is listed with sins of unrighteousness such as sexual immorality, evil-mindedness and even murder! Gossip is sin in need of repentance, followed by the taming of the tongue.<\/p>\n<p style=\"font-weight: 400;\">According to Merriam-Webster, gossip is defined as \u201ca person who habitually reveals personal or sensational facts,\u201d or as \u201ca rumor or report of an intimate nature.\u201d The danger of gossip is that it can damage\u00a0a person even if the information is true or untrue. When we gossip, we can also slander, an act of speaking against another person. And when we slander, we have made ourselves both judge and jury over another person.<\/p>\n<p style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yet, so often, gossip is ignored, tolerated or even entertained, maybe because so many of us are guilty of it. We make excuses for our desire to know or we are simply fascination with rumors. We justify gossip and think it isn\u2019t a big deal.<\/p>\n<p style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Our motives to gossip can be for any number of reasons. Maybe we gossip to make ourselves look better, to win someone over to our side, to look like we are in the know or have the inside information, or maybe we do it because we feel insecure. Whatever the motive, it is not godly. When we look at the list of sins that include gossip, we need to take this behavior seriously. God sees it as sin and tells us to stop doing it.<\/p>\n<p style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Years ago, Bill Gotthard developed 5 questions to helps us think about whether we are about to engage in gossip:<\/p>\n<p style=\"font-weight: 400;\">1)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Why is this person telling me this information? Is there some reason I should know in order to help or be part of the solution? If not, it may be idle chatter.<\/p>\n<p style=\"font-weight: 400;\">2)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Where did you get your information? The person should be open about the source of the information.<\/p>\n<p style=\"font-weight: 400;\">3)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Since gossip is often based on rumor or poor information that tends to get distorted, have you checked the facts?<\/p>\n<p style=\"font-weight: 400;\">4)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Have you gone to the people directly involved? We are urged to do this in Matthew 18:15<\/p>\n<p style=\"font-weight: 400;\">5)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Can I quote you if this information gets out?<\/p>\n<p style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The Lord can help us stop gossiping. Ask Him to set a guard over your mouth and keep watch over the door of your lips (Psalm 141:3). Remind yourself that James 1:26 tells us that if we think we are religious but don\u2019t bridle our tongue, we deceive our heart and our religion is worthless. Our aim is Titus 3:2, \u201cTo speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and to show perfect courtesy toward all people.\u201d<\/p>\n<p style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Gossip! No big deal, Right? Wrong! In the middle of the book of Matthew are two verses that should give us all pause.\u00a0Matthew 12:36-37 says, \u201cBut I say to you that for every idle word men may speak, they will give account of it in the day of judgment.\u00a0For by your words you will be&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":419,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[914,917,916],"tags":[3843,6547,6544,3844,6550,6541],"class_list":["post-19318","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-family-relationships-2","category-friend-relationships","category-god-relationship","tag-gossip","tag-hear-say","tag-poor-of-the-tongue","tag-slander","tag-talking-about-others","tag-taming-the-tongue"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Is Gossip Really a Big Deal?<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Gossip! No big deal, Right? We make excuses for our desire to know and justify gossip and think, it isn\u2019t a big deal.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?p=19318\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Is Gossip Really a Big Deal?\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Gossip! No big deal, Right? We make excuses for our desire to know and justify gossip and think, it isn\u2019t a big deal.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?p=19318\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Doing Life Together\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:author\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/drlindamintle\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2022-08-23T13:00:39+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2022-08-20T12:42:27+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/258\/2022\/08\/gossip-g193b9f5ed_1920-scaled.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Linda Mintle\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@drlindamintle\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Is Gossip Really a Big Deal?","description":"Gossip! No big deal, Right? We make excuses for our desire to know and justify gossip and think, it isn\u2019t a big deal.","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?p=19318","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Is Gossip Really a Big Deal?","og_description":"Gossip! No big deal, Right? We make excuses for our desire to know and justify gossip and think, it isn\u2019t a big deal.","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?p=19318","og_site_name":"Doing Life Together","article_author":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/drlindamintle\/","article_published_time":"2022-08-23T13:00:39+00:00","article_modified_time":"2022-08-20T12:42:27+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/258\/2022\/08\/gossip-g193b9f5ed_1920-scaled.jpg"}],"author":"Linda Mintle","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_creator":"@drlindamintle","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?p=19318","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?p=19318","name":"Is Gossip Really a Big Deal?","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?p=19318#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?p=19318#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/258\/2022\/08\/gossip-g193b9f5ed_1920-scaled.jpg","datePublished":"2022-08-23T13:00:39+00:00","dateModified":"2022-08-20T12:42:27+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#\/schema\/person\/1e16a9c7332cfcc5b5d89e4ba3a36142"},"description":"Gossip! No big deal, Right? We make excuses for our desire to know and justify gossip and think, it isn\u2019t a big deal.","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?p=19318#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?p=19318"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?p=19318#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/258\/2022\/08\/gossip-g193b9f5ed_1920-scaled.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/258\/2022\/08\/gossip-g193b9f5ed_1920-scaled.jpg"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?p=19318#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Is Gossip Really a Big Deal?"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/","name":"Doing Life Together","description":"Relationship Doctor, Mental Health, Emotional Wellness, Relationship Advice &amp; Entertainment","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#\/schema\/person\/1e16a9c7332cfcc5b5d89e4ba3a36142","name":"Linda Mintle","description":"It is rare that a trained academic who speaks passionately to the heart of people providing real answers to real life problems is so relatable. Dr. Linda\u2019s fun personality and expertise comes through whether she\u2019s helping her audience stress less or make peace with their thighs! Dr. Linda has her Ph.D. in Urban Health and Clinical Psychology and is a national expert on mental health. She has specialized in the treatment of eating disorders, anxiety, depression and pain management. With 30 years of clinical experience working with couples, families and individuals, she brings her common-sense approach to people who want to live in positive mental health. Dr. Linda is also a bestselling author with 21 book titles to her credit, a radio host of the Dr. Linda Mintle show, professor, national speaker, winner of the Mom\u2019s Choice Award, a national news consultant, featured writer for Beliefnet and hosts her own website. Her academic appointments keep her abreast of current research in her areas of expertise. Her media experience includes seven years as the resident expert for ABC Family\u2019s Living the Life television show and regular appearances on network television and radio. It is often said that being with Dr. Linda is like having coffee with a friend. She makes the complicated issues of relationships and mental health easy to understand and applicable to everyday living. The ease she has with people, coupled with her clinical training and experience makes her a sought-after speaker on college campuses, conferences and special events. Whether she is doing a TV skit with Tim Conway or discussing teen violence with Queen Latifa, Dr. Linda will entertain, educate and integrate faith and mental health in everyday living. Check out her latest book Hope and Healing for Anxiety, a whole-person approach to eliminate anxiety. .","sameAs":["https:\/\/drlindamintle.com\/","https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/drlindamintle\/","https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/drlindamintle\/","https:\/\/x.com\/drlindamintle"],"url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/author\/lmintle"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19318","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/419"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=19318"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19318\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":19438,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19318\/revisions\/19438"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=19318"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=19318"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=19318"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}