{"id":13967,"date":"2021-02-18T06:00:07","date_gmt":"2021-02-18T11:00:07","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?p=13967"},"modified":"2021-01-30T17:44:01","modified_gmt":"2021-01-30T22:44:01","slug":"6-common-excuses-to-not-go-to-counseling","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2021\/02\/6-common-excuses-to-not-go-to-counseling.html","title":{"rendered":"6 Common Excuses to Not Go to Counseling"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/258\/2020\/12\/board-3240465_1920.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-14099 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/258\/2020\/12\/board-3240465_1920.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1920\" height=\"1008\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>People give lots of common excuses not to go to counseling. Take David, for example. David&#8217;s mood is a problem. He is irritable and difficult to be around lately. Something is really bothering him. Yet, he won&#8217;t talk about it or get help. Counseling could help, but he won&#8217;t go. Like David, do you make excuses to not go to counseling? You know it could help, but keep putting it off. Maybe one of these\u00a0six common excuses fits you.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>I don\u2019t want to do what it takes to get better<\/strong>. Too often I see people unwilling to change. Frankly, I\u2019ve told people not to waste their money seeing me in therapy when it is clear they do not want to change. People complain about their not-so-perfect lives, I offer help, but they do not act on the help. In some cases, they just want to say they &#8220;tried&#8221; by coming to see me. But in reality, there are not willing to do the hard work of change. Willingness is a prerequisite to get better. This is the number one of the common excuses people use.<\/li>\n<li><strong>It doesn\u2019t feel good<\/strong>. You know the saying (I\u2019m paraphrasing here), \u201cIf it doesn\u2019t feel good, don\u2019t do it. \u201c Excuse me, but since when are we ruled by our feelings. Apparently since the 1960s. The problem with feelings is they can&#8217;t be rely upon. They get us in trouble. Ask any three-year old what happens when she only does what feels good. Or ask a hormonal teenager the same question. A major part of growing up is learning to override our emotions. Some of us are still stuck in adolescence trying to do this.<\/li>\n<li><strong>It\u2019s too hard<\/strong>. It is hard to face the pain in your life. Obviously, ignoring the pain doesn\u2019t work either. You have a choice: Stay stuck or do the hard work and get unstuck. It will be hard but the end results are worth it.<\/li>\n<li><strong>I am too afraid<\/strong>. Well, join the rest of us. Fear is real, but when it stops you from doing what you need to do, it is a problem. When \u00a0fear guide our decisions, we stay stuck. Fear takes us nowhere. It only builds on itself and paralyzes us. Face the fear. Acknowledge it but move through it.<\/li>\n<li><strong>I do not believe I can do it<\/strong>. Why? We\u2019ve bought the lie that says we can\u2019t do things, that we should be dependent, victims, that we have no talents or special abilities. We can\u2019t \u00a0because we haven\u2019t tried. Don&#8217;t fall prey to the above excuses. Tell yourself, \u00a0\u201cI\u2019m sick and tired of this, and I\u2019m not going to take it anymore.\u201d Stop putting yourself down and doubting your talents and abilities.\u201d You can do it. You can change and get better. But you have to believe it and stop doubting.<\/li>\n<li><strong>I don\u2019t want to depend on God<\/strong>. God is not like a human. He is not flawed and likely to let us down. Don&#8217;t attribute human tendencies to Him, making Him weak, uncaring and uninvolved in our lives. Like the music videos we see, we\u2019ve reduced Jesus to a religious figure with no power. We have to know God intimately in order to live in His love and experience His perfect peace. When we understand who Jesus really is, there is no way we could depend on anyone else. No one is able to come through and love us like He can. He is dependable and will help you make changes.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>People give lots of common excuses not to go to counseling. Take David, for example. David&#8217;s mood is a problem. He is irritable and difficult to be around lately. Something is really bothering him. Yet, he won&#8217;t talk about it or get help. Counseling could help, but he won&#8217;t go. Like David, do you make&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":419,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[925],"tags":[416,5285,5258],"class_list":["post-13967","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-mintle-mentions","tag-counseling","tag-excuses-to-not-do-counseling","tag-getting-help"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>6 Common Excuses to Not Go to Counseling<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Counseling could help, but not if you don&#039;t go. Do you make excuses to not go to counseling? Maybe one of these\u00a0six common excuses fits you.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, nofollow\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"6 Common Excuses to Not Go to Counseling\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Counseling could help, but not if you don&#039;t go. Do you make excuses to not go to counseling? Maybe one of these\u00a0six common excuses fits you.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2021\/02\/6-common-excuses-to-not-go-to-counseling.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Doing Life Together\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:author\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/drlindamintle\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2021-02-18T11:00:07+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2021-01-30T22:44:01+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/258\/2020\/12\/board-3240465_1920.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Linda Mintle\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@drlindamintle\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"6 Common Excuses to Not Go to Counseling","description":"Counseling could help, but not if you don't go. 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