{"id":13212,"date":"2020-09-24T06:00:52","date_gmt":"2020-09-24T10:00:52","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?p=13212"},"modified":"2020-09-24T09:18:39","modified_gmt":"2020-09-24T13:18:39","slug":"helping-a-friend-through-depression","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2020\/09\/helping-a-friend-through-depression.html","title":{"rendered":"How Do You Help a Friend Through Depression?"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>A reader writes: My friend is depressed and I don’t know what to say or do. Any suggestions?<\/em><\/p>\n

Certainly. \u00a0We all may encounter someone struggling with depression who needs help and support. I remember when a woman in my Bible study asked for\u00a0prayer for depression.\u00a0 A silence fell over the group. Five minutes passed and no one spoke or responded.\u00a0 She glanced at the floor.\u00a0 All I did was offer a word of support and encouragement.\u00a0 To my surprise, three other women talked about their depression as well.\u00a0 Others informed the group they were on medication.\u00a0 Everyone breathed a huge sigh of relief and we got down to some serious prayer. Be ready.\u00a0 Today may be your day to help break through the pain of silence in a friend\u2019s life. Here us what you can do to help:<\/p>\n

1) \u00a0Acknowledge the depression<\/strong>.\u00a0 Don\u2019t avoid talking about it. You may feel uncomfortable and not know what to say, but say what you’ve noticed (sad mood, change in appetite, etc.) and ask if your friend is feeling OK. Provide empathy and encouragement. And don’t be afraid to ask if your friend is having suicidal thoughts or feeling suicidal. Asking about suicide does not make a person think more about it. Rather, asking about suicidal feelings is helpful and may even prevent suicide.<\/p>\n

2) \u00a0Get them help<\/strong>.\u00a0 Depression is a serious illness that can lead to suicide. \u00a0About 15% of people with severe depression who don\u2019t receive treatment die by suicide.\u00a0 Because of this, it is important to consult a mental health professional. Reassure your friend that help does not mean failure. And let your friend know we have many good treatments for depression.<\/p>\n

3) \u00a0 Talk to her about her spiritual life<\/strong>. There may be areas of your friend’s life that need healing: trauma, abuse, negative experiences, etc. \u00a0When those issues are addressed, people improve. Addressing areas of bitterness and unforgiveness can also be part of the work. So find someone whose approach is more holistic, dealing with spiritual issues as well as the mind and body.<\/p>\n

4) \u00a0 Support her if she wants to try an antidepressant<\/strong>.\u00a0 It may be just what she needs to get past this dark and difficult time. There should be no stigma in using medication to help lift depression and get your friend functioning again.<\/p>\n

5) \u00a0 Encourage realistic expectations<\/strong>.\u00a0 Healing is often progressive and takes time. This process may involve tackling a number of tough life issues. Change may be gradual.<\/p>\n

6) \u00a0 Provide unconditional love and support<\/strong>.\u00a0 Let the her \u00a0know she doesn\u2019t have to put on a happy face and that you are there to pray for her and love her. A good friend helps provides support and encouragement. Both are needed to move forward.<\/p>\n

7) \u00a0 Suggest a daily routine<\/strong> even though your friend won\u2019t feel like doing much of anything.\u00a0 It is helpful to get out of bed, get dressed and go about her day regardless of how she feels. We encourage depressed people to activate — meaning, act as if they are not depressed and engage in life no matter how they may feel in the moment. Engagement with others, routines and connection all help lift a person’s mood.<\/p>\n

8) \u00a0 Suggest exercise and positive activities.\u00a0 <\/strong>The benefits are both physical and emotional. Exercise releases natural endorphins to boost mood and helps more than people think. Maybe you could be an exercise partner. Also, suggest positive activities like painting, cooking, playing cards, etc.<\/p>\n

9) \u00a0 Let her talk about her feelings<\/strong>. Most of us \u00a0benefit from talking with a friend.\u00a0 Remind her that there are people who care for her and are concerned about how she is feeling. As a friend, you are happy to listen and pray with her.<\/p>\n

10) Most of all,\u00a0 let her know she can get better<\/strong>. Hope is important to remain resilient. Treatments have improved and there is help.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A reader writes: My friend is depressed and I don’t know what to say or do. Any suggestions? Certainly. \u00a0We all may encounter someone struggling with depression who needs help and support. I remember when a woman in my Bible study asked for\u00a0prayer for depression.\u00a0 A silence fell over the group. 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