{"id":12804,"date":"2020-08-11T06:00:08","date_gmt":"2020-08-11T10:00:08","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?p=12804"},"modified":"2020-08-09T08:06:28","modified_gmt":"2020-08-09T12:06:28","slug":"10-steps-to-heal-from-betrayal","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2020\/08\/10-steps-to-heal-from-betrayal.html","title":{"rendered":"10 Steps to Heal from Betrayal"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>Betrayal is hard to handle. It can happen in intimate relationships but also friendships and with coworkers. It happened to me. I went to a co-worker with something in confidence, asked if she would keep it that way so we could talk about how to handle the situation. She said, YES, and then betrayed my confidence. In the process, she lied and ruined my relationship with someone else. When I confronted her with the betrayal, she was not sorry and made no apology. Betrayal cuts deep. Your heart is broken.<\/p>\n

So how do you respond? If you are a person of faith, not like you see in the movies! Here are 10 steps to consider:<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Make attempts to reconcile.<\/strong>\u00a0Avoidance just leads to anger, unforgiveness, and bitterness. I did meet with the co-worker. She was very uncomfortable with me bringing up the betrayal and would not speak, but I tried.<\/li>\n
  2. If you have to continue to work with the person, focus on the good moments in your relationship. Do not deny problems, but balance negatives with positives,<\/strong>\u00a0knowing you cannot trust the person.<\/li>\n
  3. Do something enjoyable together in order to build positive memories.<\/strong>\u00a0In terms of the co-worker, we have worked on committees, built a working relationship.<\/li>\n
  4. Control your tongue.<\/strong> It has the power of life and death according to the Book of James. This is the most difficult because you want to shout to the mountaintops that you have been betrayed.<\/li>\n
  5. Pray for the person.<\/strong>\u00a0Ask God to give you His heart when it comes to them. Obviously, they are troubled and need your prayers.<\/li>\n
  6. Love people, even those\u00a0difficult ones, \u00a0as yourself<\/strong>. This is the great commandment.<\/li>\n
  7. Consider the biblical principle\u2014what you sow, you reap<\/strong> (Galatians 6:7). Returning unkind behavior will come back to you. Focus on your response not theirs as difficult as that may be. You do not want to sow unkind behavior back to the person.<\/li>\n
  8. Forgive often and do not hold on to offense<\/strong>. Be willing to let it go and give it to God once you have done all you can. Remember, as you choose to forgive, bless and do good. This does not mean you condone negative behavior, are minimizing hurt or denying problems. It means you have decided to follow the words of Christ and do what does not come naturally tor most of us.<\/li>\n
  9. God\u2019s grace is a gift; \u00a0offer grace to others as well.<\/strong> We all benefit from grace.<\/li>\n
  10. Read I Corinthians 13 as a true reminder of love<\/strong>. Love is patient, kind, does not envy or boast, keeps no records of wrong, hopes and never fails. (v. 4-7)<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Our model is Christ. He was despised, rejected, and abused. Yet, he had compassion and loved the unlovely. What a challenge!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Betrayal is hard to handle. It can happen in intimate relationships but also friendships and with coworkers. It happened to me. I went to a co-worker with something in confidence, asked if she would keep it that way so we could talk about how to handle the situation. She said, YES, and then betrayed my…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":419,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[913,914,917],"tags":[1973,3647,201,81,1398],"class_list":["post-12804","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-couple-relationships","category-family-relationships-2","category-friend-relationships","tag-betrayal","tag-broken-relationships","tag-forgiveness","tag-hurt","tag-trust"],"yoast_head":"\n10 Steps to Heal from Betrayal<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2020\/08\/10-steps-to-heal-from-betrayal.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"10 Steps to Heal from Betrayal\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Betrayal is hard to handle. 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