{"id":12723,"date":"2020-08-04T06:06:26","date_gmt":"2020-08-04T10:06:26","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?p=12723"},"modified":"2020-07-25T10:21:30","modified_gmt":"2020-07-25T14:21:30","slug":"what-happened-to-kindness-10-traits-you-need","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2020\/08\/what-happened-to-kindness-10-traits-you-need.html","title":{"rendered":"What Happened to Kindness? 10 Traits You Need"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/258\/2020\/07\/couple-5429055_1920.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft wp-image-12747 size-medium\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/258\/2020\/07\/couple-5429055_1920-350x263.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"225\" \/><\/a>On the popular television show, Songland, recording artist Will I Am chose a new song to record from a group of songwriters. The title&#8211;Be Nice. The lyrics are simple- <em>Hey, be different, be nice. Just smile. I promise it will change your life.\u00a0<\/em>While these lyrics won&#8217;t go down as award winning, the sentiment is so needed in our culture today. Just be nice, be kind.<\/p>\n<p>So why are we seeing such an uptick in unkind behavior? This trait, usually taught in early childhood, seems to have disappeared on a cultural level, especially on social media. Yet, kindness goes a long way to sustain relationships. It creates positive emotions that help people cope with life.<\/p>\n<p>When you don&#8217;t love, it&#8217;s hard to be kind. When you hate, treat others poorly, judge, and are constantly angry, your heart is filled with darkness not love. \u00a0Kindness is in the list of the fruit of the Spirit. It is born out of love. Both kindness and love should mark the life of a person of faith.\u00a0If you want a friend, a partner or someone to simply do life, look for these markers of kindness and assess them in your own life:<\/p>\n<ol>\n<li>Kind people are nice without expecting anything in return. They are not takers or focused on themselves. They genuinely give to others.<\/li>\n<li>Kind people are easy to be around. They draw others and have influence.<\/li>\n<li>Kind people are sensitive to the feelings of others. They are not self-centered, rather other-centered.<\/li>\n<li>Kind people listen attentively. They don&#8217;t text during your conversation or think about other things, appearing distracted and disengaged. They are focused and listen to you.<\/li>\n<li>Kind people do unexpected things. They pay for your lunch, babysit your child, bring you a meal, give you a ride to the airport, etc. They are kind when you least expect it.<\/li>\n<li>Kind people gain a reputation for being nice. People are drawn to them.<\/li>\n<li>Kind people are generous. They are not doormats or push overs. Rather they show love in tangible ways. And due to their kindness, they risk being taken advantage of now and then.<\/li>\n<li>Kind people don&#8217;t make excuses. They take responsibility and try to do better.<\/li>\n<li>Kind people don&#8217;t give unkind behavior to unkind people. Instead, they avoid careless words and don&#8217;t lash out in anger. In other words, they don&#8217;t reciprocate unkindness with unkindness.<\/li>\n<li>Kind people help when people are in need. It&#8217;s part of their DNA to do kind acts.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p>If we all adopted kindness as our default, we could change the culture. We would be less judgmental, care about our neighbor, the poor, the oppressed and the broken-hearted. \u00a0What a difference it could make. So in the words of artists Will I Am, Hey be different, be kind!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>On the popular television show, Songland, recording artist Will I Am chose a new song to record from a group of songwriters. The title&#8211;Be Nice. The lyrics are simple- Hey, be different, be nice. Just smile. I promise it will change your life.\u00a0While these lyrics won&#8217;t go down as award winning, the sentiment is so&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":419,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[917],"tags":[4953,4962,643,4950,108,4959,300,4956],"class_list":["post-12723","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-friend-relationships","tag-caring-for-others","tag-generous","tag-giving","tag-kind","tag-kindness","tag-listen","tag-love","tag-sensitive"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>What Happened to Kindness? 10 Traits You Need<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, nofollow\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"What Happened to Kindness? 10 Traits You Need\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"On the popular television show, Songland, recording artist Will I Am chose a new song to record from a group of songwriters. The title&#8211;Be Nice. The lyrics are simple- Hey, be different, be nice. Just smile. 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Dr. Linda\u2019s fun personality and expertise comes through whether she\u2019s helping her audience stress less or make peace with their thighs! Dr. Linda has her Ph.D. in Urban Health and Clinical Psychology and is a national expert on mental health. She has specialized in the treatment of eating disorders, anxiety, depression and pain management. With 30 years of clinical experience working with couples, families and individuals, she brings her common-sense approach to people who want to live in positive mental health. Dr. Linda is also a bestselling author with 21 book titles to her credit, a radio host of the Dr. Linda Mintle show, professor, national speaker, winner of the Mom\u2019s Choice Award, a national news consultant, featured writer for Beliefnet and hosts her own website. Her academic appointments keep her abreast of current research in her areas of expertise. Her media experience includes seven years as the resident expert for ABC Family\u2019s Living the Life television show and regular appearances on network television and radio. It is often said that being with Dr. Linda is like having coffee with a friend. She makes the complicated issues of relationships and mental health easy to understand and applicable to everyday living. The ease she has with people, coupled with her clinical training and experience makes her a sought-after speaker on college campuses, conferences and special events. Whether she is doing a TV skit with Tim Conway or discussing teen violence with Queen Latifa, Dr. Linda will entertain, educate and integrate faith and mental health in everyday living. Check out her latest book Hope and Healing for Anxiety, a whole-person approach to eliminate anxiety. .","sameAs":["https:\/\/drlindamintle.com\/","https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/drlindamintle\/","https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/drlindamintle\/","https:\/\/x.com\/drlindamintle"],"url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/author\/lmintle"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12723","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/419"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=12723"}],"version-history":[{"count":14,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12723\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":12768,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12723\/revisions\/12768"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=12723"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=12723"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=12723"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}