{"id":11523,"date":"2020-02-13T06:00:12","date_gmt":"2020-02-13T11:00:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?p=11523"},"modified":"2020-02-08T14:24:30","modified_gmt":"2020-02-08T19:24:30","slug":"love-by-the-neuroscience","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2020\/02\/love-by-the-neuroscience.html","title":{"rendered":"Love By the Neuroscience"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-large wp-image-11547\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/258\/2020\/02\/couple-2424928_1920-550x366.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"550\" height=\"366\" \/>Ahhhh, love.\u00a0You see him across the crowded room. Your eyes meet and you feel drawn to him. As you move towards him, your adrenaline rises, your heart races, your mouth is dry\u2013can I even speak?\u00a0Then, something amazing happens. Your brain is saturated with a love cocktail. Dopamine floods you like a rush of cocaine. You feel giddy. Serotonin activates and you can\u2019t take your eyes off the person. It is like you are obsessed. Actually you are, as that serotonin release is very similar to Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.<\/p>\n<p>Yes, we focus on love this time of the year, but most of us want loving feelings for more than one day of the year. In other words, lets keep the love going.\u00a0Perhaps a few tips from neuroscience can help inform our behavior when it comes to love.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Music stimulates neurochemical systems in the brain:<\/strong> A Japanese study looked at the impact music had on the impressions formed for\u00a0opposite sex conversation partners during a first encounter. When music was part of the background of the conversations, participants rated their conversation partners significantly more favorably than those in pairs with no music in the background. The researchers concluded that music may have made the conversationalists\u00a0more charming! Positive impressions\u00a0can be increased. And character traits such as friendliness and openness were rated higher when music was playing in the background. So, if you want to make a good first impression, have music playing in the background. It might make the attraction stronger! Music just might be the aphrodisiac of love!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Touch stimulates oxytocin, a bonding hormone known as the love or cuddle hormone:<\/strong> Hold hands, softly kiss a cheek, rub your partner&#8217;s back and you will release a small amount of oxytocin. This not only signal trust, but builds bonding. Of all touching, sex is the most intimate. It triggers oxytocin as well. So do not ignore the importance of it in your marriage. It activates the brain&#8217;s reward system and brings on desire.<\/p>\n<p><strong>And back to\u00a0music to help create feelings of love and bonding.\u00a0<\/strong>Join your church choir or a singing group. When you sing in a group, oxytocin pulses through the brain and those feelings of trust, love and acceptance start to flow. This is why you hear choir members talk so lovingly about each other and feel bonded to their group. Oxytocin is leading the way. The brain is increasing its production of oxytocin when you are belting out those choir numbers together. And the benefit to you is the positive feelings of trust and love, not to mention the beauty of worship.\u00a0So if you want to feel bonded and accepted, join a choir or singing group. Or think about playing music with others\u2013it does the same thing.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Do novel things to stimulate dopamine:<\/strong> Dopamine is associated with the desires to pursue your loved one. It can be stimulated in a relationship by doing novel things. Keep it flowing by getting out of your routine. Create surprises, try something new and be creative as a couple. The reward system in your brain will activate and you will see your partner with new excitement.<\/p>\n<p>So here is your chance to boost love. Have soft music playing in the background or sing. Try a new intimate setting. Touch and show affection. Your brain chemicals will thank you by boosting those loving feelings.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Source:\u00a0Sumi Shigeno.\u00a0<span class=\"cit-title\">Effects of background music on young Japanese adults\u2019 impressions of opposite-sex conversation partners\u00a0<\/span><cite><span class=\"site-title\">Psychology of Music\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"cit-elocation\">0305735614561816<\/span><span class=\"cit-sep cit-sep-after-article-pages\">,\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"cit-ahead-of-print-date\"><span class=\"cit-sep cit-sep-before-article-ahead-of-print-date\">first published on\u00a0<\/span>December 15, 2014\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"cit-doi\"><span class=\"cit-sep cit-sep-before-article-doi\">doi:<\/span>10.1177\/0305735614561816<\/span><\/cite><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Ahhhh, love.\u00a0You see him across the crowded room. Your eyes meet and you feel drawn to him. As you move towards him, your adrenaline rises, your heart races, your mouth is dry\u2013can I even speak?\u00a0Then, something amazing happens. Your brain is saturated with a love cocktail. Dopamine floods you like a rush of cocaine. You&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":419,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[913],"tags":[300,4653,953,956],"class_list":["post-11523","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-couple-relationships","tag-love","tag-neuroscience-of-love","tag-romance","tag-valentines-day"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Love By the Neuroscience<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2020\/02\/love-by-the-neuroscience.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Love By the Neuroscience\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Ahhhh, love.\u00a0You see him across the crowded room. Your eyes meet and you feel drawn to him. As you move towards him, your adrenaline rises, your heart races, your mouth is dry\u2013can I even speak?\u00a0Then, something amazing happens. Your brain is saturated with a love cocktail. Dopamine floods you like a rush of cocaine. You&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2020\/02\/love-by-the-neuroscience.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Doing Life Together\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:author\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/drlindamintle\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2020-02-13T11:00:12+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2020-02-08T19:24:30+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/258\/2020\/02\/couple-2424928_1920-550x366.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Linda Mintle\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@drlindamintle\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Love By the Neuroscience","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2020\/02\/love-by-the-neuroscience.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Love By the Neuroscience","og_description":"Ahhhh, love.\u00a0You see him across the crowded room. Your eyes meet and you feel drawn to him. As you move towards him, your adrenaline rises, your heart races, your mouth is dry\u2013can I even speak?\u00a0Then, something amazing happens. Your brain is saturated with a love cocktail. Dopamine floods you like a rush of cocaine. 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Dr. Linda\u2019s fun personality and expertise comes through whether she\u2019s helping her audience stress less or make peace with their thighs! Dr. Linda has her Ph.D. in Urban Health and Clinical Psychology and is a national expert on mental health. She has specialized in the treatment of eating disorders, anxiety, depression and pain management. With 30 years of clinical experience working with couples, families and individuals, she brings her common-sense approach to people who want to live in positive mental health. Dr. Linda is also a bestselling author with 21 book titles to her credit, a radio host of the Dr. Linda Mintle show, professor, national speaker, winner of the Mom\u2019s Choice Award, a national news consultant, featured writer for Beliefnet and hosts her own website. Her academic appointments keep her abreast of current research in her areas of expertise. Her media experience includes seven years as the resident expert for ABC Family\u2019s Living the Life television show and regular appearances on network television and radio. It is often said that being with Dr. Linda is like having coffee with a friend. She makes the complicated issues of relationships and mental health easy to understand and applicable to everyday living. The ease she has with people, coupled with her clinical training and experience makes her a sought-after speaker on college campuses, conferences and special events. Whether she is doing a TV skit with Tim Conway or discussing teen violence with Queen Latifa, Dr. Linda will entertain, educate and integrate faith and mental health in everyday living. Check out her latest book Hope and Healing for Anxiety, a whole-person approach to eliminate anxiety. .","sameAs":["https:\/\/drlindamintle.com\/","https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/drlindamintle\/","https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/drlindamintle\/","https:\/\/x.com\/drlindamintle"],"url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/author\/lmintle"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11523","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/419"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=11523"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11523\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":11556,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11523\/revisions\/11556"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=11523"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=11523"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=11523"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}