{"id":11164,"date":"2019-11-12T06:00:21","date_gmt":"2019-11-12T11:00:21","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?p=11164"},"modified":"2019-11-10T13:54:46","modified_gmt":"2019-11-10T18:54:46","slug":"handling-toxic-co-worker","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2019\/11\/handling-toxic-co-worker.html","title":{"rendered":"Handling That Toxic CoWorker"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-large wp-image-11168\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/258\/2019\/11\/analyzing-3556678_1920-1024x641.jpg\" alt=\"analyzing-3556678_1920\" width=\"1024\" height=\"641\" \/><\/p>\n<p>There is always one toxic coworker\u00a0that makes you crazy. It doesn&#8217;t seem to matter where you work. It could be that guy who always takes credit for other peoples&#8217; work or goes behind your back and is passive-aggressive. Or how about the woman who looks you in the eye, smiles and then bad mouths you to the boss?<\/p>\n<p>So how do you handle a toxic coworker? First, acknowledge that you can&#8217;t control the person. If you try to give feedback to correct a situation, it usually doesn&#8217;t work. In fact, toxic coworkers\u00a0are good at manipulating your good intentions and using them against you. They probably aren&#8217;t going to change just because you call them out.<\/p>\n<p>All you can do it control your reaction to them. So think about it. How much energy do you want to spend on the toxic coworker? If you spend a lot, you are\u00a0given them\u00a0power. Refuse to give them anymore power than they try to garnish. Don&#8217;t ruin your evening by talking about them. If you do, you have now allowed them into your personal time and life.<\/p>\n<p>This next one is hard to do but important&#8211;resist the constant urge to complain about that person. Why? Complaining\u00a0focuses you on them and ruins your day! Look, we often\u00a0complain because it gives us a false sense of control over a person we can&#8217;t control.\u00a0But\u00a0complaining makes us\u00a0toxic! Instead, work on a solution for the problem. Keep your reaction positive and move forward.<\/p>\n<p>Finally, listen to your self-talk. Are you blaming others for making your work more difficult? Toxic coworkers\u00a0can have that affect. They are easy scapegoats. Empower yourself to say,&#8221;I am not going to allow this person any more space, time or discouragement at my workplace. God, you deal with them. Let me continue to work on my response and stay focused.&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>There is always one toxic coworker\u00a0that makes you crazy. It doesn&#8217;t seem to matter where you work. It could be that guy who always takes credit for other peoples&#8217; work or goes behind your back and is passive-aggressive. Or how about the woman who looks you in the eye, smiles and then bad mouths you&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":419,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1057],"tags":[4544,1103,4543,1060],"class_list":["post-11164","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-work-relationships","tag-difficult-co-workers","tag-difficult-people","tag-toxic-coworkers","tag-work-relationships-2"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Handling That Toxic CoWorker<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2019\/11\/handling-toxic-co-worker.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Handling That Toxic CoWorker\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"There is always one toxic coworker\u00a0that makes you crazy. It doesn&#8217;t seem to matter where you work. It could be that guy who always takes credit for other peoples&#8217; work or goes behind your back and is passive-aggressive. Or how about the woman who looks you in the eye, smiles and then bad mouths you&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2019\/11\/handling-toxic-co-worker.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Doing Life Together\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:author\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/drlindamintle\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2019-11-12T11:00:21+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2019-11-10T18:54:46+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2019\/11\/analyzing-3556678_1920-1024x641.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Linda Mintle\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@drlindamintle\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Handling That Toxic CoWorker","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2019\/11\/handling-toxic-co-worker.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Handling That Toxic CoWorker","og_description":"There is always one toxic coworker\u00a0that makes you crazy. 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Dr. Linda\u2019s fun personality and expertise comes through whether she\u2019s helping her audience stress less or make peace with their thighs! Dr. Linda has her Ph.D. in Urban Health and Clinical Psychology and is a national expert on mental health. She has specialized in the treatment of eating disorders, anxiety, depression and pain management. With 30 years of clinical experience working with couples, families and individuals, she brings her common-sense approach to people who want to live in positive mental health. Dr. Linda is also a bestselling author with 21 book titles to her credit, a radio host of the Dr. Linda Mintle show, professor, national speaker, winner of the Mom\u2019s Choice Award, a national news consultant, featured writer for Beliefnet and hosts her own website. Her academic appointments keep her abreast of current research in her areas of expertise. Her media experience includes seven years as the resident expert for ABC Family\u2019s Living the Life television show and regular appearances on network television and radio. It is often said that being with Dr. Linda is like having coffee with a friend. She makes the complicated issues of relationships and mental health easy to understand and applicable to everyday living. The ease she has with people, coupled with her clinical training and experience makes her a sought-after speaker on college campuses, conferences and special events. Whether she is doing a TV skit with Tim Conway or discussing teen violence with Queen Latifa, Dr. Linda will entertain, educate and integrate faith and mental health in everyday living. Check out her latest book Hope and Healing for Anxiety, a whole-person approach to eliminate anxiety. .","sameAs":["https:\/\/drlindamintle.com\/","https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/drlindamintle\/","https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/drlindamintle\/","https:\/\/x.com\/drlindamintle"],"url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/author\/lmintle"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11164","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/419"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=11164"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11164\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":11171,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11164\/revisions\/11171"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=11164"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=11164"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=11164"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}