{"id":11021,"date":"2019-09-06T06:00:13","date_gmt":"2019-09-06T10:00:13","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?p=11021"},"modified":"2019-09-03T14:20:34","modified_gmt":"2019-09-03T18:20:34","slug":"positive-self-statements-dont-work","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2019\/09\/positive-self-statements-dont-work.html","title":{"rendered":"When Positive Self-Statements Don’t Work"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"woman-1901702_1920\"You are feeling down and your friend tells you, just think happy thoughts. Utter a few positive self-statements.\u00a0Follow this with a happy meme and\u00a0it will brighten your day.<\/p>\n

How many times have you turned on the TV or watched a You Tube clip of a positive thinking guru who tells\u00a0you to just think happy thoughts?Doing so, will change your mood and your outlook.\u00a0But does this really work?<\/p>\n

Actually no! Not if you have low self-esteem. And in fact, it might make you feel worse!<\/p>\n

A study at the University of Waterloo and University of New Brunswick<\/a>\u00a0had some interesting findings. People with low self-esteem who rehearsed positive statements (e.g., I am lovable) in their head actually felt worse, not better. Those with low self-esteem did not<\/em> improve their feelings or mood by generating positive self-statements.\u00a0But those with high self-esteem did feel better repeating positive statements. However, the boost to feeling better was small. Thus, it appears that telling yourself positive things works for those with high self-esteem, not low. In fact, for someone with low self-esteem, positive self-statements might even make you feel\u00a0worse.<\/p>\n

The thinking goes-if you don’t feel the positive affirmation is\u00a0true on some level, you probably won’t believe what you re saying. Most likely, you will resist the positive self-statement. Furthermore, if you are convinced that others do not see you in a positive light, you will also reject the positive self-statement even though you generated it! It just doesn’t ring true.<\/p>\n

That said, \u00a0thoughts do determine feelings. So what is helpful is to challenge your negative thoughts to see if they are accurate, biblical, or overly negative. Notice\u00a0your thoughts and don’t allow them to dictate feelings if they are somehow distorted or overly negative. Do an appraisal. Is that thought generalized from one or two experiences? Is it true all the time? Is it only true with certain people\u00a0or\u00a0circumstances? Balance the scales and be objective. Don’t overgeneralize, mind read, become overly personalized, or even move to a catastrophic thought. Notice the thinking error and \u00a0retrain your brain. Think of a more reasonable thought. Put those new more positive thoughts\u00a0in your mind to rewire the brain. Change your thoughts, change your feelings. If your thoughts are less negative because you are being more realistic, you will feel better. And that process will make you feel happier!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

You are feeling down and your friend tells you, just think happy thoughts. Utter a few positive self-statements.\u00a0Follow this with a happy meme and\u00a0it will brighten your day. How many times have you turned on the TV or watched a You Tube clip of a positive thinking guru who tells\u00a0you to just think happy thoughts?Doing…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":419,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[925,1],"tags":[198,199,4484,4483],"class_list":["post-11021","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-mintle-mentions","category-uncategorized","tag-happiness","tag-happy","tag-happy-thoughts","tag-positive-self-statements"],"yoast_head":"\nWhen Positive Self-Statements Don't Work<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2019\/09\/positive-self-statements-dont-work.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"When Positive Self-Statements Don't Work\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"You are feeling down and your friend tells you, just think happy thoughts. Utter a few positive self-statements.\u00a0Follow this with a happy meme and\u00a0it will brighten your day. How many times have you turned on the TV or watched a You Tube clip of a positive thinking guru who tells\u00a0you to just think happy thoughts?Doing…\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2019\/09\/positive-self-statements-dont-work.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Doing Life Together\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:author\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/drlindamintle\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2019-09-06T10:00:13+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2019-09-03T18:20:34+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2019\/08\/woman-1901702_1920-1024x683.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Linda Mintle\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@drlindamintle\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"When Positive Self-Statements Don't Work","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2019\/09\/positive-self-statements-dont-work.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"When Positive Self-Statements Don't Work","og_description":"You are feeling down and your friend tells you, just think happy thoughts. 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