{"id":10507,"date":"2018-11-19T06:00:50","date_gmt":"2018-11-19T11:00:50","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?p=10507"},"modified":"2018-11-16T07:18:08","modified_gmt":"2018-11-16T12:18:08","slug":"making-memories-thanksgiving","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2018\/11\/making-memories-thanksgiving.html","title":{"rendered":"Creating Positive Memories During Thanksgiving"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-medium wp-image-10508\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/258\/2018\/11\/bowling-596766_1920-300x199.jpg\" alt=\"bowling-596766_1920\" width=\"300\" height=\"199\" \/>Every year around this time, I am asked by media to talk about how difficult it is to be with family. Getting together over a holiday with family members who don&#8217;t get along most of the year can be stressful. But perhaps, rather than pulling out the stops to finally confront those family members who upset you, the focus should be on building positive memories. After all, this is the only family you will ever have, so why not try to infuse the\u00a0\u00a0holidays with some fun. I realize, family problems don&#8217;t go away during the holidays, but we can choose to do things to build positive memories<\/p>\n<p>In talking with problematic families, they tell me\u00a0they have no traditions regarding\u00a0how to have fun or how to create great memories. Usually, this requires some thought before you arrive at someone&#8217;s house.\u00a0You have to intentionally build traditions. And millennials tell me that they would like more traditions in their families.<\/p>\n<p>For example, no one except the older generation in our family goes bowling. But we built a fun tradition over the years by going bowling after the big family dinner. Young to old could participate. And because so many of us are truly terrible bowlers, it was even more fun&#8211;no pressure, just throw the ball at a bunch of pins and laugh a lot at each other.<\/p>\n<p>Some families go outside for walks or play a friendly flag football game. Others create a scavenger hunt for kids and grow ups. For the fitness minded, a Turkey Trot race can involve family members. Board games can be fun with several groups playing cards or a game like Scrabble.<\/p>\n<p>If you feel less\u00a0ambitious, watch old family videos or browse through photo albums, This will focus you on good times and memories.<\/p>\n<p>And finally, if your family struggles to have a good time together, organize a volunteer activity. Go to a shelter and serve meals, deliver food to shut ins, visit a nursing home, or have international students to your home for the\u00a0meal. Giving to others will move the focus off the family issues and onto others.<\/p>\n<p>The point here is to begin to build positive memories and turn the feeling of dread around. By intentional creating activities for the family, people can interact in positive ways so that next year, there is something to look forwarded to&#8211;a time of getting together, creating traditions and memories.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Every year around this time, I am asked by media to talk about how difficult it is to be with family. Getting together over a holiday with family members who don&#8217;t get along most of the year can be stressful. But perhaps, rather than pulling out the stops to finally confront those family members who&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":419,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[914],"tags":[4315,4317,4316,639,4318],"class_list":["post-10507","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-family-relationships-2","tag-families-and-holidays","tag-family-memories","tag-holiday-traditions","tag-thanksgiving","tag-thanksgiving-memories"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Creating Positive Memories During Thanksgiving<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2018\/11\/making-memories-thanksgiving.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Creating Positive Memories During Thanksgiving\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Every year around this time, I am asked by media to talk about how difficult it is to be with family. Getting together over a holiday with family members who don&#8217;t get along most of the year can be stressful. But perhaps, rather than pulling out the stops to finally confront those family members who&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2018\/11\/making-memories-thanksgiving.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Doing Life Together\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:author\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/drlindamintle\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2018-11-19T11:00:50+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2018-11-16T12:18:08+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2018\/11\/bowling-596766_1920-300x199.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Linda Mintle\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@drlindamintle\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Creating Positive Memories During Thanksgiving","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2018\/11\/making-memories-thanksgiving.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Creating Positive Memories During Thanksgiving","og_description":"Every year around this time, I am asked by media to talk about how difficult it is to be with family. 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Dr. Linda\u2019s fun personality and expertise comes through whether she\u2019s helping her audience stress less or make peace with their thighs! Dr. Linda has her Ph.D. in Urban Health and Clinical Psychology and is a national expert on mental health. She has specialized in the treatment of eating disorders, anxiety, depression and pain management. With 30 years of clinical experience working with couples, families and individuals, she brings her common-sense approach to people who want to live in positive mental health. Dr. Linda is also a bestselling author with 21 book titles to her credit, a radio host of the Dr. Linda Mintle show, professor, national speaker, winner of the Mom\u2019s Choice Award, a national news consultant, featured writer for Beliefnet and hosts her own website. Her academic appointments keep her abreast of current research in her areas of expertise. Her media experience includes seven years as the resident expert for ABC Family\u2019s Living the Life television show and regular appearances on network television and radio. It is often said that being with Dr. Linda is like having coffee with a friend. She makes the complicated issues of relationships and mental health easy to understand and applicable to everyday living. The ease she has with people, coupled with her clinical training and experience makes her a sought-after speaker on college campuses, conferences and special events. Whether she is doing a TV skit with Tim Conway or discussing teen violence with Queen Latifa, Dr. Linda will entertain, educate and integrate faith and mental health in everyday living. Check out her latest book Hope and Healing for Anxiety, a whole-person approach to eliminate anxiety. .","sameAs":["https:\/\/drlindamintle.com\/","https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/drlindamintle\/","https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/drlindamintle\/","https:\/\/x.com\/drlindamintle"],"url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/author\/lmintle"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10507","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/419"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=10507"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10507\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":10509,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10507\/revisions\/10509"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=10507"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=10507"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=10507"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}