{"id":10389,"date":"2018-09-20T06:00:30","date_gmt":"2018-09-20T10:00:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?p=10389"},"modified":"2018-09-15T07:38:55","modified_gmt":"2018-09-15T11:38:55","slug":"common-couple-problems-common-fixes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2018\/09\/common-couple-problems-common-fixes.html","title":{"rendered":"Common Couple Problems and Common Fixes"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-medium wp-image-10393\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/258\/2018\/09\/holding-hands-1149411_1280-300x200.jpg\" alt=\"holding-hands-1149411_1280\" width=\"300\" height=\"200\" \/>Jack and Jill are fighting again. Does this mean their relationship is going downhill? Not if you know that this is a common couple problem and that this issue has solutions.<\/p>\n<p>Intimate relationships can cause stress to the point of breaking vows and calling it quits. But couple problems have common themes and there are ways to fix those problems. I\u00a0encourage couples to thoughtfully talk to each other in order to begin a dialogue regarding ways to improve their relationships.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Common problem:<\/strong><strong>I don\u2019t know my partner and feel like we are drifting apart.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Solution:\u00a0<\/strong>Couples who play together, stay together. That is true because spending time together is a critical part of building a friendship in a relationship. Friendship is a foundational aspect of strong relationships. So, carve out time in your schedules and make it a priority to be together. Do things that will relax you and make conversation easy. Take short trips or breaks together to reconnect in a different setting. Use your phone to text and stay connected and anticipate being together. You have to do friend stuff as well as romantic stuff to keep the connection strong.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Common problem<\/strong>: <strong>I need some space to focus on me.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Solution:<\/strong>Couples need to find the right amount of time together so they don\u2019t feel cheated or overwhelmed. You don\u2019t want to grow apart or feel like you are being smothered. Somewhere in between these two extremes is a healthy balance. Talk about this with your partner and assess what you are doing to achieve this balance. Negotiate alone and couple time. Both are important.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Common problem: We fight about the same things over and over.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Solution:<\/strong>Most couples don\u2019t solve all their problems and do fight about the same issues regularly. This fact doesn\u2019t lead to divorce. But the way you deal with each other during a fight really matters. If you are being critical, defensive, mocking and really negative, it is going to pull you apart. But if you disagree in a nice way and remain kind and respectful, conflicts don\u2019t destroy marriages. This means no name calling, yelling, throwing, disrespect\u2026the things that add fuel to a fire. You can have conflict but need to exercise self-control.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Common problem: The in-laws are causing us marital problems<\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Solution:\u00a0<\/strong>Are these people really as bad as they seem? Maybe your partner\u2019s mom \u00a0or dad is not your cup of tea, but you have to look past their irritations and focus on the way they raised their son or daughter.Why? Because that\u2019s what really matters. They produced this wonderful person you love. Now, your partner is supposed to defend you, stand up for you and intervene whenever his family becomes negative towards you. Therefore, it is up to the partner to put boundaries on their family and address problems when they treat you\u00a0poorly.<\/p>\n<p>Be encouraged when you hit a problematic issue in your couple relationship. As long as you are both willing to look at the problem, just know that these common problems have common fixes!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Jack and Jill are fighting again. Does this mean their relationship is going downhill? Not if you know that this is a common couple problem and that this issue has solutions. Intimate relationships can cause stress to the point of breaking vows and calling it quits. But couple problems have common themes and there are&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":419,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[1004,920,2282,1158,1544,125],"class_list":["post-10389","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-couple-problems","tag-couple-relationships-2","tag-in-laws","tag-marital-conflict","tag-marital-problems","tag-marriage"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Common Couple Problems and Common Fixes<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2018\/09\/common-couple-problems-common-fixes.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Common Couple Problems and Common Fixes\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Jack and Jill are fighting again. Does this mean their relationship is going downhill? Not if you know that this is a common couple problem and that this issue has solutions. Intimate relationships can cause stress to the point of breaking vows and calling it quits. 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Dr. Linda\u2019s fun personality and expertise comes through whether she\u2019s helping her audience stress less or make peace with their thighs! Dr. Linda has her Ph.D. in Urban Health and Clinical Psychology and is a national expert on mental health. She has specialized in the treatment of eating disorders, anxiety, depression and pain management. With 30 years of clinical experience working with couples, families and individuals, she brings her common-sense approach to people who want to live in positive mental health. Dr. Linda is also a bestselling author with 21 book titles to her credit, a radio host of the Dr. Linda Mintle show, professor, national speaker, winner of the Mom\u2019s Choice Award, a national news consultant, featured writer for Beliefnet and hosts her own website. Her academic appointments keep her abreast of current research in her areas of expertise. Her media experience includes seven years as the resident expert for ABC Family\u2019s Living the Life television show and regular appearances on network television and radio. It is often said that being with Dr. Linda is like having coffee with a friend. She makes the complicated issues of relationships and mental health easy to understand and applicable to everyday living. The ease she has with people, coupled with her clinical training and experience makes her a sought-after speaker on college campuses, conferences and special events. Whether she is doing a TV skit with Tim Conway or discussing teen violence with Queen Latifa, Dr. Linda will entertain, educate and integrate faith and mental health in everyday living. Check out her latest book Hope and Healing for Anxiety, a whole-person approach to eliminate anxiety. .","sameAs":["https:\/\/drlindamintle.com\/","https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/drlindamintle\/","https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/drlindamintle\/","https:\/\/x.com\/drlindamintle"],"url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/author\/lmintle"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10389","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/419"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=10389"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10389\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":10394,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10389\/revisions\/10394"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=10389"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=10389"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=10389"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}