{"id":10324,"date":"2018-08-09T06:00:21","date_gmt":"2018-08-09T10:00:21","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?p=10324"},"modified":"2018-08-05T09:37:48","modified_gmt":"2018-08-05T13:37:48","slug":"financial-cheating-thing","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2018\/08\/financial-cheating-thing.html","title":{"rendered":"Financial Cheating: Is it a Thing?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-medium wp-image-10325\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/258\/2018\/08\/nature-3246122_1280-300x180.jpg\" alt=\"nature-3246122_1280\" width=\"300\" height=\"180\" \/>Erin was crying in my office. Her husband didn&#8217;t trust her and the problem wasn&#8217;t infidelity, well sort of. What she described was another type of relationship breach, financial cheating. While we all could probably agree that sexual cheating on your partner is destructive to a relationship, what about financial cheating?\u00a0Does that tear at trust as well?<\/p>\n<p>A <a href=\"https:\/\/www.smartaboutmoney.org\/Topics\/Family-and-Finances\/Love-and-Money\/Have-You-Ever-Been-Financially-Unfaithful\">survey<\/a> reported by Smart About Money tells us that couples who combine their incomes have about a 42% rate of financial infidelity, meaning they have committed some type of financial deception. They might be hiding a bank account, make a purchase and not tell, have a secret credit card, etc. Sometimes people lie about debt or even their income when they enter a relationship. You can be financially deceptive in many ways.<\/p>\n<p>The problem is the secrecy involved. And secrecy affects trust, a building block of healthy relationships.\u00a0If you lie about money, the question naturally comes up, what else could you be lying about?<\/p>\n<p>In a marriage with combined finances,\u00a0your credit depends on the financial behavior of the partner. So not only are you impacted by bad spending, but so is your spouse. This is why it is important to be\u00a0open and honest about how you are spending money and be accountable to each other.<\/p>\n<p>So if you see warning signs&#8211;expenditures on credit cards you can&#8217;t account for, receipts that are unknown, your partner is defensive and deflective when you question spending&#8211;you need to be concerned and confront the situation. What is the problem? It is purposeful deceit, poor management, lack of communication, fear of spending and reporting, etc. Whatever is the root, it needs to be addressed so trust can be rebuilt. Financial infidelity can signal a bigger relationship problem. Don&#8217;t ignore and get professional help if you need. This may mean seeing a financial counselor or a relationship counselor to work on trust.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Erin was crying in my office. Her husband didn&#8217;t trust her and the problem wasn&#8217;t infidelity, well sort of. What she described was another type of relationship breach, financial cheating. While we all could probably agree that sexual cheating on your partner is destructive to a relationship, what about financial cheating?\u00a0Does that tear at trust&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":419,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[913],"tags":[4254,4255,2622,4256,1398,4257],"class_list":["post-10324","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-couple-relationships","tag-financial-cheating","tag-financial-infidelity","tag-money","tag-money-and-couples","tag-trust","tag-trust-and-money"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Financial Cheating: Is it a Thing?<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2018\/08\/financial-cheating-thing.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Financial Cheating: Is it a Thing?\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Erin was crying in my office. Her husband didn&#8217;t trust her and the problem wasn&#8217;t infidelity, well sort of. What she described was another type of relationship breach, financial cheating. While we all could probably agree that sexual cheating on your partner is destructive to a relationship, what about financial cheating?\u00a0Does that tear at trust&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2018\/08\/financial-cheating-thing.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Doing Life Together\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:author\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/drlindamintle\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2018-08-09T10:00:21+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2018-08-05T13:37:48+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2018\/08\/nature-3246122_1280-300x180.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Linda Mintle\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@drlindamintle\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Financial Cheating: Is it a Thing?","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2018\/08\/financial-cheating-thing.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Financial Cheating: Is it a Thing?","og_description":"Erin was crying in my office. Her husband didn&#8217;t trust her and the problem wasn&#8217;t infidelity, well sort of. What she described was another type of relationship breach, financial cheating. While we all could probably agree that sexual cheating on your partner is destructive to a relationship, what about financial cheating?\u00a0Does that tear at trust&hellip;","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2018\/08\/financial-cheating-thing.html","og_site_name":"Doing Life Together","article_author":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/drlindamintle\/","article_published_time":"2018-08-09T10:00:21+00:00","article_modified_time":"2018-08-05T13:37:48+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2018\/08\/nature-3246122_1280-300x180.jpg"}],"author":"Linda Mintle","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_creator":"@drlindamintle","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2018\/08\/financial-cheating-thing.html","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2018\/08\/financial-cheating-thing.html","name":"Financial Cheating: Is it a Thing?","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2018\/08\/financial-cheating-thing.html#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2018\/08\/financial-cheating-thing.html#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2018\/08\/nature-3246122_1280-300x180.jpg","datePublished":"2018-08-09T10:00:21+00:00","dateModified":"2018-08-05T13:37:48+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#\/schema\/person\/1e16a9c7332cfcc5b5d89e4ba3a36142"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2018\/08\/financial-cheating-thing.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2018\/08\/financial-cheating-thing.html"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2018\/08\/financial-cheating-thing.html#primaryimage","url":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2018\/08\/nature-3246122_1280-300x180.jpg","contentUrl":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2018\/08\/nature-3246122_1280-300x180.jpg"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2018\/08\/financial-cheating-thing.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Financial Cheating: Is it a Thing?"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/","name":"Doing Life Together","description":"Relationship Doctor, Mental Health, Emotional Wellness, Relationship Advice &amp; Entertainment","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#\/schema\/person\/1e16a9c7332cfcc5b5d89e4ba3a36142","name":"Linda Mintle","description":"It is rare that a trained academic who speaks passionately to the heart of people providing real answers to real life problems is so relatable. Dr. Linda\u2019s fun personality and expertise comes through whether she\u2019s helping her audience stress less or make peace with their thighs! Dr. Linda has her Ph.D. in Urban Health and Clinical Psychology and is a national expert on mental health. She has specialized in the treatment of eating disorders, anxiety, depression and pain management. With 30 years of clinical experience working with couples, families and individuals, she brings her common-sense approach to people who want to live in positive mental health. Dr. Linda is also a bestselling author with 21 book titles to her credit, a radio host of the Dr. Linda Mintle show, professor, national speaker, winner of the Mom\u2019s Choice Award, a national news consultant, featured writer for Beliefnet and hosts her own website. Her academic appointments keep her abreast of current research in her areas of expertise. Her media experience includes seven years as the resident expert for ABC Family\u2019s Living the Life television show and regular appearances on network television and radio. It is often said that being with Dr. Linda is like having coffee with a friend. She makes the complicated issues of relationships and mental health easy to understand and applicable to everyday living. The ease she has with people, coupled with her clinical training and experience makes her a sought-after speaker on college campuses, conferences and special events. Whether she is doing a TV skit with Tim Conway or discussing teen violence with Queen Latifa, Dr. Linda will entertain, educate and integrate faith and mental health in everyday living. Check out her latest book Hope and Healing for Anxiety, a whole-person approach to eliminate anxiety. .","sameAs":["https:\/\/drlindamintle.com\/","https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/drlindamintle\/","https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/drlindamintle\/","https:\/\/x.com\/drlindamintle"],"url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/author\/lmintle"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10324","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/419"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=10324"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10324\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":10326,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10324\/revisions\/10326"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=10324"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=10324"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=10324"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}