{"id":10059,"date":"2018-04-11T06:00:02","date_gmt":"2018-04-11T10:00:02","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?p=10059"},"modified":"2018-04-08T10:37:21","modified_gmt":"2018-04-08T14:37:21","slug":"take-best-friend","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2018\/04\/take-best-friend.html","title":{"rendered":"What Does it Take to be a Best Friend?"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"people-3104635_1280\"Friendships may be one of the most underrated\u00a0relationships when it comes to feeling loved and supported in your life. And finding a best friend is no easy task. I can name on one hand the number of really best friends I have had through life. And sadly, if you don’t keep those relationships going with a lot of intention, best friends can become distant as well.<\/p>\n

Given the stress we often\u00a0feel related to time–time to relax, to chat and just hang out with those with whom we click, best friends can be hard to find. You have to click with that person and then engage in intentional behavior. And in the process, you may decide, this isn’t the person I want to befriend in a deeper way.<\/p>\n

But when the process goes well and you want to move forward,\u00a0it takes time. It is estimated <\/a>that it takes about 50 hours to convert an aquaintance to a friend and then 90 hours to become a friend, and more than 200 hours until they become a best friend! Time\u00a0is definitely a factor, but it is not the only thing needed to become a best friend. While hanging out with someone gives you opportunity to develop closeness, how and what you talk about matters.<\/p>\n

Now you might just hit it off with someone and have an immediate bond, but deepening that friendship requires both time together and meaningful conversation, not simply small talk. Your ability to slowly and steadily reveal parts of your life to a person begins to deepen the friendship. In fact, researchers think that a lot of small talk does little to move a relationship forward. So to progress the relationship, you have to dig deep and talk about things that matter.<\/p>\n

In addition,\u00a0people who are agreeable, open to experience and conscientious make great friends as well as marriage partners. Those characteristics help you be a friend and connect with others easily. It just may be that if you have those characteristics, you have an easier time of being a friend and developing friendships. So think about it-do you disagree a lot, think you are always right, are afraid to branch out and try new things or have a “whatever” attitude? If so, it might be more difficult for you to find and be a friend. If you want to find better friends, consider the positive characteristics and work on those.<\/p>\n

Overall, a best friend is hard to find, but worth the effort. When you find one, the relationship can enhance your life!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Friendships may be one of the most underrated\u00a0relationships when it comes to feeling loved and supported in your life. And finding a best friend is no easy task. I can name on one hand the number of really best friends I have had through life. And sadly, if you don’t keep those relationships going with…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":419,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[917],"tags":[4191,1014,1024],"class_list":["post-10059","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-friend-relationships","tag-best-friend","tag-friend-relationships-3","tag-friendships"],"yoast_head":"\nWhat Does it Take to be a Best Friend?<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2018\/04\/take-best-friend.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"What Does it Take to be a Best Friend?\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Friendships may be one of the most underrated\u00a0relationships when it comes to feeling loved and supported in your life. And finding a best friend is no easy task. I can name on one hand the number of really best friends I have had through life. And sadly, if you don’t keep those relationships going with…\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2018\/04\/take-best-friend.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Doing Life Together\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:author\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/drlindamintle\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2018-04-11T10:00:02+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2018-04-08T14:37:21+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2018\/04\/people-3104635_1280-300x200.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Linda Mintle\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@drlindamintle\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"What Does it Take to be a Best Friend?","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2018\/04\/take-best-friend.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"What Does it Take to be a Best Friend?","og_description":"Friendships may be one of the most underrated\u00a0relationships when it comes to feeling loved and supported in your life. And finding a best friend is no easy task. I can name on one hand the number of really best friends I have had through life. And sadly, if you don’t keep those relationships going with…","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2018\/04\/take-best-friend.html","og_site_name":"Doing Life Together","article_author":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/drlindamintle\/","article_published_time":"2018-04-11T10:00:02+00:00","article_modified_time":"2018-04-08T14:37:21+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2018\/04\/people-3104635_1280-300x200.jpg"}],"author":"Linda Mintle","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_creator":"@drlindamintle","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2018\/04\/take-best-friend.html","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2018\/04\/take-best-friend.html","name":"What Does it Take to be a Best Friend?","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2018\/04\/take-best-friend.html#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2018\/04\/take-best-friend.html#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2018\/04\/people-3104635_1280-300x200.jpg","datePublished":"2018-04-11T10:00:02+00:00","dateModified":"2018-04-08T14:37:21+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#\/schema\/person\/1e16a9c7332cfcc5b5d89e4ba3a36142"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2018\/04\/take-best-friend.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2018\/04\/take-best-friend.html"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2018\/04\/take-best-friend.html#primaryimage","url":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2018\/04\/people-3104635_1280-300x200.jpg","contentUrl":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/files\/2018\/04\/people-3104635_1280-300x200.jpg"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/2018\/04\/take-best-friend.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"What Does it Take to be a Best Friend?"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/","name":"Doing Life Together","description":"Relationship Doctor, Mental Health, Emotional Wellness, Relationship Advice & Entertainment","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/#\/schema\/person\/1e16a9c7332cfcc5b5d89e4ba3a36142","name":"Linda Mintle","description":"It is rare that a trained academic who speaks passionately to the heart of people providing real answers to real life problems is so relatable. Dr. Linda\u2019s fun personality and expertise comes through whether she\u2019s helping her audience stress less or make peace with their thighs! Dr. Linda has her Ph.D. in Urban Health and Clinical Psychology and is a national expert on mental health. She has specialized in the treatment of eating disorders, anxiety, depression and pain management. With 30 years of clinical experience working with couples, families and individuals, she brings her common-sense approach to people who want to live in positive mental health. Dr. Linda is also a bestselling author with 21 book titles to her credit, a radio host of the Dr. Linda Mintle show, professor, national speaker, winner of the Mom\u2019s Choice Award, a national news consultant, featured writer for Beliefnet and hosts her own website. Her academic appointments keep her abreast of current research in her areas of expertise. Her media experience includes seven years as the resident expert for ABC Family\u2019s Living the Life television show and regular appearances on network television and radio. It is often said that being with Dr. Linda is like having coffee with a friend. She makes the complicated issues of relationships and mental health easy to understand and applicable to everyday living. The ease she has with people, coupled with her clinical training and experience makes her a sought-after speaker on college campuses, conferences and special events. Whether she is doing a TV skit with Tim Conway or discussing teen violence with Queen Latifa, Dr. Linda will entertain, educate and integrate faith and mental health in everyday living. Check out her latest book Hope and Healing for Anxiety, a whole-person approach to eliminate anxiety. .","sameAs":["https:\/\/drlindamintle.com\/","https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/drlindamintle\/","https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/drlindamintle\/","https:\/\/x.com\/drlindamintle"],"url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/author\/lmintle"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10059","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/419"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=10059"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10059\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":10062,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10059\/revisions\/10062"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=10059"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=10059"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/doinglifetogether\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=10059"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}