{"id":416,"date":"2015-03-04T19:56:39","date_gmt":"2015-03-04T19:56:39","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/depressionhelp\/?p=416"},"modified":"2020-01-20T20:48:37","modified_gmt":"2020-01-20T20:48:37","slug":"self-injury-what-parents-and-guardians-need-to-do-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/depressionhelp\/2015\/03\/self-injury-what-parents-and-guardians-need-to-do-2.html","title":{"rendered":"Self-injury: What Parents And Guardians Need To Do"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"selfharm3\"<\/a><\/p>\n

You\u2019re a parent or guardian and just found out that your child self-injures<\/a>. You\u2019ll probably react with a mixture of anger, shock, guilt, worry, and anxiety. You might be convinced that your child is suicidal. Self-harm by itself isn\u2019t suicidal behaviour. But if the emotional distress that causes self-injury continues, it can cause suicidal thoughts.<\/p>\n

\"child\"<\/a>Self-injury is an attempt at instant relief from an emotional pain. Actions can range from pulling hair out in clumps, bruising, cutting, to the drinking of bleach. The physical pain of self-harm is often easier to deal with than the emotional pain behind it.<\/p>\n

The way you first react will impact your child\u2019s trust in you. Here\u2019s what you as a parent or guardian should do to help a child who self-injures:<\/span><\/p>\n

DON\u2019T<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Get angry or show disgust. Negativity alienates your child. Ultimatums only drive your child away from you.<\/span><\/li>\n
  2. Deny the problem. It\u2019s not your child\u2019s problem or just one of his\/her \u2018things\u2019. It\u2019s not a fad, social statement or a phase your child will grow out of.<\/li>\n
  3. Hide sharp objects. If your child wants to self-injure, he\/she will find a way.<\/li>\n
  4. Blame yourself. Unless you know you have a hand in the emotional distress, taking blame just takes emotional energy away from where it\u2019s needed – your child.<\/li>\n
  5. Assume your child is okay once in treatment. Recovery from self-injury can take months, maybe even years.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    DO<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

      \n
    1. Stay calm. Freaking out won\u2019t solve anything. It will just alienate your child and close all lines of communication.<\/span><\/li>\n
    2. Talk. Be non-judgmental.\u00a0Ask \u201cWhy are you doing this to yourself?\u201d<\/li>\n
    3. Take the problem seriously. It\u2019s not about attention-seeking or a growing pain.<\/li>\n
    4. Ask if your relationship could be improved. If you\u2019re part of the blame then take responsibility.<\/li>\n
    5. Seek treatment for your child. Accompany your child to the doctor or counsellor but don\u2019t be pushy about privacy. Your child will open up to you when she\/he is ready.<\/li>\n
    6. Find the triggers. Focus on the underlying problems rather than just the injury.<\/li>\n
    7. Trust your child. Your child is the same person you knew and loved before. Self-injury is just a small part of them. You\u2019ll have to balance the instinct to monitor or trust your child.<\/li>\n
    8. Treat your child as usual, especially when other people are in the house.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

      \"selfharm8\"<\/a>If you see scratches or cuts that you can treat at home, do so. But burns and other serious injuries need medical attention.<\/span><\/p>\n

      Self-injury treatment is a long process. It includes medication with family and individual therapy over a period of time. Setbacks happen even after therapy ends. Be prepared to continue your non-judgmental support.<\/span><\/p>\n

      Finally, don\u2019t be afraid to ask for help. There\u2019s many terrific websites and forums dealing with self-injury for parents and guardians. One is LifeSIGNS<\/a> – Self-Injury Guidance & Network Support. It\u2019s a UK organization with easy to use information sheets for anyone dealing with self-injury. Thanks to LifeSIGNS for supplying the above information.<\/span><\/p>\n

      Depression Help<\/a>\u00a0by Terezia Farkas is a\u00a0mental health blog. Terezia\u2019s bestseller Heart of Love Evolution \u2013 Surviving Depression <\/a>is available on Amazon. Website: \u00a0www.tereziafarkas.com<\/a> Follow on \u00a0Twitter<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

      You\u2019re a parent or guardian and just found out that your child self-injures. You\u2019ll probably react with a mixture of anger, shock, guilt, worry, and anxiety. You might be convinced that your child is suicidal. Self-harm by itself isn\u2019t suicidal behaviour. But if the emotional distress that causes self-injury continues, it can cause suicidal thoughts.…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":578,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8,113,73],"tags":[31,2,12,28,114,6,121,176],"class_list":["post-416","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-depression-help-2","category-self-injury","category-youth-depression","tag-anxiety","tag-depression","tag-emotional-health","tag-mood-disorders","tag-self-injury","tag-terezia-farkas","tag-wellness","tag-youth-depression"],"yoast_head":"\nSelf-injury: What Parents And Guardians Need To Do - Depression Help<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, nofollow\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Self-injury: What Parents And Guardians Need To Do - Depression Help\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"You\u2019re a parent or guardian and just found out that your child self-injures. 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