{"id":3109,"date":"2018-09-28T05:16:32","date_gmt":"2018-09-28T05:16:32","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/depressionhelp\/?p=3109"},"modified":"2018-09-28T05:16:32","modified_gmt":"2018-09-28T05:16:32","slug":"things-not-to-say-to-someone-depressed","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/depressionhelp\/2018\/09\/things-not-to-say-to-someone-depressed.html","title":{"rendered":"Things To Not Say To Someone Depressed"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"anger<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A\u00a0depressed person can act functional.\u00a0I’ve had people tell me I seem happy, so how can I say I’m depressed? A smile can hide a lot of pain. So here’s a couple of things to not say to someone depressed.<\/p>\n

You’re Lying<\/strong><\/h3>\n

This is a mean one. I’ve had depressed people tell me that they were called liars by their doctors, emergency room physicians, and psych nurses. Yet each and every one of these depressed people was clinically diagnosed as suffering severe depression. Words hurt.<\/p>\n

Snap Out Of It<\/strong><\/h3>\n

I can\u2019t just snap out of depression. Would you tell a cancer patient to snap out of cancer?<\/p>\n

Cheer Up<\/strong><\/h3>\n

Humour is one of the first things to go in depression. It’s also the last thing to come back in recovery. Tough to laugh when the world looks bleak and you feel unloved.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s All In Your Head<\/strong><\/h3>\n

The pain is real, not imaginary. Depression causes physical and chemical changes to the body. Negative ideas are stuck in the head. Serotonin and cortisol levels in the brain become unbalanced.<\/p>\n

It Could Be Worse<\/strong><\/h3>\n

I don’t care if it can be worse. I already feel horrible. I don’t want to or need to feel worse. Comparing people’s problems is unfair. There are things you can’t see or don’t know about individual situations.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s Always About You. You’re Selfish<\/strong><\/h3>\n

Yes, and I need to make it about me. I don’t have much energy. What energy I do have, I need to use to heal my pain and trauma.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s Your Fault<\/strong><\/h3>\n

Stop judging! Guilt doesn’t heal depression or make it go away. Guilt only prolongs depression. Depression is complicated. Its a result of both social and genetic factors.<\/p>\n

You’re Not Trying To Get Better<\/strong><\/h3>\n

Anti-depressants are harsh chemicals. There are many side-effects. It’s tough finding the right one that helps you. Low energy, poor self image, guilt, and pain keep me from doing things you think I should be doing.<\/p>\n

I Know How You Feel<\/strong><\/h3>\n

Unless you’re depressed, or experienced grief or trauma, you really won’t understand the emotional darkness of depression. Depression can take you to the point of death. Coming back from that point is like a near death experience.<\/p>\n

You’re Always Depressed<\/strong><\/h3>\n

Yeah, and does telling me that help me? I need solutions, not judgement.<\/p>\n

What Do You Have To Be Depressed About?<\/strong><\/h3>\n

Depression can be caused by many things like SAD and genetics. It isn’t always about\u00a0 trauma or grief.<\/p>\n

Loose Some Weight<\/strong><\/h3>\n

Weight gain or loss is one of the symptoms of depression. It can also be caused by anti-depressants. Exercise may help slightly depressed people. It’s not something a person\u00a0who is severely depressed may even be able to do.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, call\u00a01-800-SUICIDE<\/a>\u00a0(1-800-784-2433) or\u00a01-800-273-TALK<\/a>\u00a0(1-800-273-8255).<\/p>\n

1-800-784-2433
\nwww.hopeline.com<\/a>
\nThis will connect you with a crisis centre in your area.<\/p>\n

American Foundation for Suicide Prevention<\/strong>
\nPhone Number: 888-333-AFSP (2377)
\nWebsite URL:\u00a0www.afsp.org<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Visit me on Twitter\u00a0 @tereziafarkas<\/strong><\/p>\n

Visit my website\u00a0http:\/\/www.tereziafarkas.com<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

  A\u00a0depressed person can act functional.\u00a0I’ve had people tell me I seem happy, so how can I say I’m depressed? A smile can hide a lot of pain. So here’s a couple of things to not say to someone depressed. You’re Lying This is a mean one. I’ve had depressed people tell me that they…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":578,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8,234],"tags":[5,4,12,227,6,121],"class_list":["post-3109","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-depression-help-2","category-wellness-with-terezia-farkas","tag-beliefnet","tag-depression-help","tag-emotional-health","tag-mental-health","tag-terezia-farkas","tag-wellness"],"yoast_head":"\nThings To Not Say To Someone Depressed - Depression Help<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"A depressed person can act functional. A smile can hide a lot of pain. 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