{"id":287,"date":"2014-12-15T20:00:29","date_gmt":"2014-12-15T20:00:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/depressionhelp\/?p=287"},"modified":"2020-01-20T20:43:43","modified_gmt":"2020-01-20T20:43:43","slug":"how-to-deal-with-negative-people","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/depressionhelp\/2014\/12\/how-to-deal-with-negative-people.html","title":{"rendered":"How To Deal With Negative People"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Battery-negative-positive\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Negative people. They exist everywhere. If you\u2019re like me, you try to ignore them or at the best, tolerate the behaviour. But negative attitude can really wear thin during the Christmas season. Bah humbug – if it isn\u2019t your style, it will really annoy the crap out of you. How do you deal with negative people?<\/span><\/p>\n

According to Raj Raghunathan, Ph.D<\/a>. one obvious solution to dealing with negative people is to ignore them. Walk away. If you can. That\u2019s right out of the fight or flee book of survival. But it\u2019s really hard to walk away from a family member, spouse, friend, co-worker or boss. I mean, you can do it but the fallout can be nuclear, with radioactive anger spewing over others. Then your Christmas gets a whole lot\u00a0worse because everyone is now angry about something.<\/span><\/p>\n

Raghunathan\u2019s second approach seems less destructive. A practical way to deal with negative people is by understanding the reasons for their negativity. <\/span>\u201cIn brief, almost all negativity has its roots in one of three deep-seated fears: the fear of being disrespected by others, the fear of not being loved by others, and the fear that \u201cbad things\u201d are going to happen. These fears feed off each other to fuel the belief that \u201cthe world is a dangerous place and people are generally mean.\u201d (Psychology Today, March 19, 2013<\/em>)<\/p>\n

Bad childhood, parents or other reasons can cause deep-rooted issues of anxiety, anger and fear. I don\u2019t recommend being a psychotherapist, unless you\u2019re one already and want to spend your Christmas analyzing friends or family. Instead, practice understanding and only be responsible for your actions. <\/span><\/p>\n

Practice understanding means you see the good and the bad in the person equally. You recognize what makes the person grumpy or what sets him\/her off. You\u2019re not going to change the behaviour or attitude overnight, so don\u2019t even try. Understanding what a person is about doesn\u2019t mean he\/she has the right to walk all over you. It simply means you get where all that cynicism, sarcasm, nitpicking behaviour sprouts from. <\/span><\/p>\n

Being responsible for your actions means just that. You aren\u2019t responsible for how the other person feels. It\u2019s not you who is miserable or sees the bad in everything. Instead of trying to change the person\u2019s attitude, focus on yourself and how you want to feel. Do things that will make you feel good even if it means taking time out from your miserable person. Be responsible for bringing joy to yourself. Take responsibility of your actions. Don\u2019t blame the negative person for going on ski trips if skiing makes you happy. It\u2019s your choice so take responsibility for your action.<\/span><\/p>\n

Terezia Farkas is an International Bestselling Author, Huffington Post and\u00a0CNN contributor<\/a>, and columnist of Depression Help<\/a>. Her bestseller Heart of Love Evolution \u2013 Surviving Depression <\/a>is available on Amazon. Her\u00a0website is atwww.tereziafarkas.com<\/a> Follow her on Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Negative people. They exist everywhere. If you\u2019re like me, you try to ignore them or at the best, tolerate the behaviour. But negative attitude can really wear thin during the Christmas season. Bah humbug – if it isn\u2019t your style, it will really annoy the crap out of you. How do you deal with negative…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":578,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8,102,76,105],"tags":[31,4,12,47,6],"class_list":["post-287","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-depression-help-2","category-motivation","category-negative-people","category-personal-growth","tag-anxiety","tag-depression-help","tag-emotional-health","tag-stress","tag-terezia-farkas"],"yoast_head":"\nHow To Deal With Negative People - Depression Help<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Negative people. They exist everywhere. 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