{"id":2591,"date":"2018-01-23T21:22:47","date_gmt":"2018-01-23T21:22:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/depressionhelp\/?p=2591"},"modified":"2018-07-04T02:07:05","modified_gmt":"2018-07-04T02:07:05","slug":"5-things-toxic-family-members","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/depressionhelp\/2018\/01\/5-things-toxic-family-members.html","title":{"rendered":"5 Things About Negative Family Members"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"carta-famiglia-domanda\"<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I’ve been writing for years about negative people<\/a>\u00a0and negative family members<\/span><\/span>. Some of the most poisonous people come disguised as family. I’ve given advice on how to cleanse your area and aura of negativity from these people. Recently, I came across a great article<\/a><\/span> that more or less says the same things I’ve said before.<\/p>\n

If you’re suffering with a negative family member, trying to change that person’s attitude and behaviour probably isn’t going to work.\u00a0After all, you can’t just quit seeing the person, or even if you could\u00a0it might not be the best thing to do.\u00a0So\u00a0here’s 5 things to remember about a negative family member:<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. \n

    They may not be a bad person, but they\u2019re not the right person to spend time with every day.\u00a0<\/strong><\/span><\/h3>\n

    Not every family is a healthy one. There are\u00a0negative members in most every family. Yours isn’t the exception. Some\u00a0so called\u00a0negative family members might\u00a0actually care about you. These are negative people who have good intentions, but because their needs and way of existing in the world don’t match yours, these people force you to be unhappy. You shouldn’t have to\u00a0ruin your life to help someone who is negative.\u00a0 You have to make your well-being a priority.\u00a0 Whether that means spending less time with someone, loving a family member from a distance, letting go entirely, or temporarily removing yourself from a situation that feels painful \u2013 you have every right to leave and create some healthy space for yourself.<\/span><\/li>\n

  2. \n

    Negative family members\u00a0often hide behind passive aggression.\u00a0<\/strong><\/span><\/h3>\n

    Passive aggressive behaviour takes many forms. It’s a non-verbal aggression that manifests in negative behaviour.\u00a0 For example, instead of openly telling someone how you feel,\u00a0you make subtle, annoying gestures at the person. Jabs, pokes, smart a** remarks. That sort of thing. This person\u00a0doesn’t want to be\u00a0open and honest with you. Usually there’s no real way to deal with this type of person. Ignoring them may do the trick, but that’s not always possible. Let the person know you care for him or her. This may help. If not, then clear the way to distance yourself emotionally from this person.<\/span><\/li>\n

  3. \n

    A negative family member will try to bully you into submission if you let them.<\/strong><\/span><\/h3>\n

    The biggest bully you will ever meet is usually a negative family member. Bullying is never okay. It can lead to physical assault which should be reported. What you have to do is stand up for yourself.\u00a0 Find courage. Nobody has the power to make you feel small unless you give them that power.\u00a0 It takes a great deal of courage to stand up to your enemies, but just as much to stand up to your family and friends.\u00a0 Be aware of how the people closest to you treat you, and look out for the subtle jabs they throw.\u00a0 When necessary, confront them, whatever it takes to give yourself the opportunity to grow into who you really are.<\/span><\/li>\n

  4. \n

    Don’t pretend their negative behaviour is okay.\u00a0<\/span><\/strong><\/h3>\n

    Don’t give away your personal power by being okay with a family member’s negative behaviour towards you.\u00a0Don\u2019t be fooled.\u00a0 If you reward a negative family member with attention just to get the person to stay quiet, you’re not doing yourself any favours. Short-term ease equals long-term pain for you in a situation like this.\u00a0 Negative\u00a0people don\u2019t change if they are rewarded for not changing.\u00a0 Decide not to be influenced by their behaviour.\u00a0 Stop tiptoeing around them or making\u00a0excuses for their continued bad behaviour.\u00a0 Constant drama and negativity is never worth putting up with.\u00a0 If someone in your family over the age 21 can\u2019t be a reasonable, reliable, respectful adult on a regular basis, it\u2019s time to speak up and stand your ground.<\/span><\/li>\n

  5. \n

    Self care every day.<\/span><\/strong><\/h3>\n

    Practice self care every day. I<\/span>f you\u2019re forced to live or work with a negative person, you need to take care of yourself. Self care is key.\u00a0Otherwise, the negative attitude can become tiring and even infect you to some degree. Yoga, mindfulness, meditation, prayer, regular exercise – these are a few self care example. Self care doesn’t need to be expensive. It can be cheap and easy. Just find something that relaxes you and brings happiness.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

    Twitter: \u00a0@tereziafarkas<\/p>\n

    \"Heart<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

      I’ve been writing for years about negative people\u00a0and negative family members. Some of the most poisonous people come disguised as family. I’ve given advice on how to cleanse your area and aura of negativity from these people. 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