{"id":2364,"date":"2017-08-15T19:12:57","date_gmt":"2017-08-15T19:12:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/depressionhelp\/?p=2364"},"modified":"2017-08-21T22:01:09","modified_gmt":"2017-08-21T22:01:09","slug":"men-and-sorry","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/depressionhelp\/2017\/08\/men-and-sorry.html","title":{"rendered":"Men and Sorry"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"men<\/a><\/p>\n

What is it with men and sorry? I have a male family member who has a really tough time saying, \u201cI\u2019m sorry.\u201d Oh sure, he might feel sorry for saying or doing something. But to hear him say the actual words is a rare thing.<\/span><\/p>\n

Men and Sorry<\/b><\/span><\/h3>\n

According to researchers at the University of Waterloo, a man won\u2019t apologize because he really doesn\u2019t believe he\u2019s done anything wrong. <\/span><\/p>\n

A man\u2019s threshold of what it means to be wrong in an issue is way higher than what a woman thinks is the threshold. So while a woman might think an apology is needed, a guy honestly won\u2019t believe it because he doesn\u2019t think the offence threshold has been reached. Of course in a relationship the offence threshold is usually somewhere between the two ideas, and so it can get testy when a guy doesn\u2019t realize he might just be wrong.<\/span><\/p>\n

A Man Doesn\u2019t Think He\u2019s Done Anything Wrong<\/b><\/span><\/h3>\n

It\u2019s hard for a guy to believe he\u2019s done something wrong. Not that he can\u2019t see the consequences or the damage. But to admit to being wrong can involve ego, learned behaviour, and macho attitude.<\/span><\/p>\n

When a man feels he really owes an apology, he\u2019ll be as forthcoming with apologies as any woman. Sometimes though a guy can be carrying emotional baggage about apologizing. It might be that as a kid growing up, he had to man up and say sorry so many times to other people, that as an adult he doesn\u2019t ever want to say sorry again. Or maybe he had received the belt or had to wash his mouth with soap when he did something wrong. <\/span><\/p>\n

Some guys don\u2019t apologize because they are selfish or their ego won\u2019t allow them to admit to being wrong. \u201cI\u2019m sorry\u201d is humiliating and is a loss of face. It also feels like he is no longer the \u2018hero\u2019 to the person he loves because he is admitting to being wrong. Of course this type of thinking doesn\u2019t help any relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n

An apology doesn\u2019t take away anything from being a man. It doesn\u2019t reduce macho image. An apology can actually make a guy seem sexy because unlike rivals, he has the capacity to own a mistake and the strength to make it right. That\u2019s real power. <\/span><\/p>\n

Apologies are amazing<\/b><\/span><\/h3>\n

Apologies really are amazing. They have the ability to heal wounds, validate feelings, reduce stress in a relationship, eliminate grudges, and create forgiveness. Forgiveness is the balm of heaven that lets you know you\u2019re loved. <\/span><\/p>\n

Everybody makes mistakes. That\u2019s part of the human experience. Saying, \u201cI\u2019m sorry\u201d is a nice way of clearing the air and making yourself seem human to others. <\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry\u201d has to be sincere to work. Your actions have to follow the words. Often times whatever you\u2019ve done wrong has caused some amount of hurt to someone. That person may have less trust in you or emotional wounds that can\u2019t heal unless you apologize.<\/span><\/p>\n

Follow\u00a0Terezia Farkas on Twitter: @tereziafarkas<\/div>\n
\n

\u00a0*\u00a0Click here to find out about Terezia Farkas and Depression Help<\/a><\/h4>\n

Join the conversation. Leave a comment. Ask a question<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/section>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

What is it with men and sorry? I have a male family member who has a really tough time saying, \u201cI\u2019m sorry.\u201d Oh sure, he might feel sorry for saying or doing something. But to hear him say the actual words is a rare thing. Men and Sorry According to researchers at the University of…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":578,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8,102,197,170],"tags":[4,12,159,171,192,6,121],"class_list":["post-2364","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-depression-help-2","category-motivation","category-healthy-relationships-with-terezia-farkas","category-male-depression","tag-depression-help","tag-emotional-health","tag-love","tag-male-depression","tag-relationships","tag-terezia-farkas","tag-wellness"],"yoast_head":"\nMen and Sorry - Depression Help<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"What is it with men and sorry? 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Terezia is a reiki master, psychic medium, and certified channeller. Visit Terezia Farkas on Twitter @tereziafarkas Website: http:\/\/www.tereziafarkas.com Honours: Alberta Lt. Governor Circle on Mental Health and Addictions award. Bell Let's Talk Social Media Ambassador 2017. CAMH (Canadian Addictions and Mental Health) 150 Difference Makers nominee. 2014 Global Crisis of Depression Summit at Kings Place in London on November 25, 2014, which included speakers Kofi A Anan, the 7th former Secretary General of the UN.","sameAs":["http:\/\/www.tereziafarkas.com","http:\/\/on.fb.me\/1zSE4WB","https:\/\/x.com\/tereziafarkas"],"url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/depressionhelp\/author\/tfarkas"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/depressionhelp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2364","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/depressionhelp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/depressionhelp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/depressionhelp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/578"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/depressionhelp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2364"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/depressionhelp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2364\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2370,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/depressionhelp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2364\/revisions\/2370"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/depressionhelp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2364"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/depressionhelp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2364"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/depressionhelp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2364"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}