{"id":2053,"date":"2017-03-06T22:33:45","date_gmt":"2017-03-06T22:33:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/depressionhelp\/?p=2053"},"modified":"2017-08-21T22:04:42","modified_gmt":"2017-08-21T22:04:42","slug":"7-things-attempt-survivors-wish-family-and-friends-knew","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/depressionhelp\/2017\/03\/7-things-attempt-survivors-wish-family-and-friends-knew.html","title":{"rendered":"7 Things Attempt Survivors Wish Family and Friends Knew"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"7<\/a><\/p>\n

When you find out that a loved one had attempted suicide, you may feel overwhelmed with questions. Why didn\u2019t they come to me? What did I miss?<\/em> And most perplexing, What do I do now? <\/em>The Lifeline asked people to recall the aftermath of their attempts to give you some insight into what they wanted and needed from their friends and family following their darkest moments. While there\u2019s no formula or one-size-fits-all answer, we hope learning from these attempt survivors will help you feel confident in supporting your loved one.<\/p>\n

1. \u201cI want to talk about my pain.\u201d<\/h4>\n

I wished I could talk to my parents about what I was going through, but I was scared they would get mad at me. I knew that their anger would stem from the fact that they love me and hate the way I feel. But I still needed to talk about my pain, even if they didn\u2019t know how to help.\u00a0\u2013 Shelby<\/p>\n

2. \u201cPlease don\u2019t make me feel guilty.\u201d<\/h4>\n

The guilt that people put on me after my attempts didn\u2019t help. They would say things like, \u201cDon\u2019t you know what it would have done to me if you had died?\u201d That just made me depressed all over again. Now on top of everything else there was all this guilt, so I punished myself. \u2013 Ashley<\/p>\n

3. \u201cHug me.\u201d<\/h4>\n

What helped me most was when people didn\u2019t ask me questions like \u201cWhy did you want to do it?\u201d or \u201cWhat is so freaking bad about your life?!\u201d and instead just gave me hugs and told me they loved me. I wanted to know that they still want me in their lives. \u2013 Joe<\/p>\n

4. \u201cPlease don\u2019t leave me alone.\u201d<\/h4>\n

No matter how hard I fight to get away, push others far from me, just don\u2019t let me be alone. Being alone equals time. Time to think, time to dwell, time to act. \u2013 Stormi<\/p>\n

5. \u201cI wish they had seen the signs and asked if I was thinking about suicide.\u201d<\/h4>\n

I\u2019m not blaming anyone, but I wish my family had known the warning signs of suicide and asked me if I was thinking about killing myself. I don\u2019t know if it would have made a difference. It\u2019s just that so many people are scared to mention the \u201cs\u201d word, and think that asking someone if they\u2019re thinking of suicide is going to encourage them or put\u00a0the idea in their head. \u00a0That\u2019s not the case at all. \u2013 Melanie<\/p>\n

6. \u201cTell me you love me.\u201d<\/h4>\n

I needed help and love and support. I needed them to tell me that they loved me and that I was okay as a person, that I meant something to them and that I had value and worth. Most importantly, that I didn\u2019t\u00a0need to be fixed. I just needed them to be there.\u00a0\u2013 Kimberly\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

7. \u201cEventually, I\u2019ll want to move on.\u201d<\/h4>\n

Hovering over a person who attempted suicide can make them feel like they lost everyone\u2019s trust. My father still won\u2019t talk to me about my attempt, but still asks me more than ten years later, \u201cYou\u2019re not feeling like you did in high school are you? You\u2019re not going to do THAT again?\u201d \u2013 Liza<\/p>\n

Originally posted on the Suicide Prevention Lifeline<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

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* Click here to find out more about Terezia Farkas\u00a0<\/a>and Depression Help<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

\u00a0Join the conversation. Leave a comment. Ask a question.<\/strong><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When you find out that a loved one had attempted suicide, you may feel overwhelmed with questions. Why didn\u2019t they come to me? What did I miss? And most perplexing, What do I do now? The Lifeline asked people to recall the aftermath of their attempts to give you some insight into what they wanted…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":578,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8,197,113,9],"tags":[4,12,114,174,6,176],"class_list":["post-2053","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-depression-help-2","category-healthy-relationships-with-terezia-farkas","category-self-injury","category-suicide","tag-depression-help","tag-emotional-health","tag-self-injury","tag-suicide","tag-terezia-farkas","tag-youth-depression"],"yoast_head":"\n7 Things Attempt Survivors Wish Family and Friends Knew - Depression Help<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"When you find out that a loved one had attempted suicide, you may feel overwhelmed with questions. Why didn\u2019t they come to me? 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