{"id":1949,"date":"2017-01-13T09:43:18","date_gmt":"2017-01-13T09:43:18","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/depressionhelp\/?p=1949"},"modified":"2021-01-13T18:28:48","modified_gmt":"2021-01-13T18:28:48","slug":"1949","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/depressionhelp\/2017\/01\/1949.html","title":{"rendered":"23 Signs You Grew Up With Depression"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"23<\/a><\/p>\n

Growing up, most of us aren\u2019t taught to look out for signs of\u00a0depression<\/a><\/span>.<\/p>\n

So if you\u2019re experiencing it, especially as a teenager, it\u2019s easy to think there\u2019s just something wrong with you<\/i>\u00a0\u2014 and it\u2019s easy for parents and other adults to pass you off as another moody kid.<\/p>\n

But young people do get depression \u2014 we just need to know the signs. To find out how people knew they were living with depression, we asked our mental health community to share, in hindsight, signs they had depression.<\/span><\/p>\n

Here\u2019s what they had to say:<\/b><\/span><\/h4>\n

1.<\/strong> \u201cLooking back on it, I constantly felt guilt and had a hard a time fitting in with anyone. I was a very cautious and shy kid.\u201d \u2014\u00a0Poppy W.<\/span><\/p>\n

2.<\/strong> \u201cI cried a lot and wasn\u2019t as happy as the other kids. I was unmotivated and didn\u2019t want to shower; my room was a mess and I would stay inside and play games all day. I had trouble making friends because I was super shy, and that turned into anxiety<\/a><\/span> (these issues have some childhood trauma factors and environmental factors as well).\u201d \u2014\u00a0Hannah F.<\/p>\n

3.<\/strong> \u201cFor me it was never feeling good enough, like no matter how hard I tried I just wasn\u2019t like everyone else, especially my two older sisters. Then the increased emotions came. I would get so upset or so mad so quickly and without reason. I didn\u2019t realize I had depression until this year.\u201d \u2014\u00a0Ashley G.<\/span><\/p>\n

4.<\/strong> \u201cWhenever I climbed a tree or somewhere up high looking down I thought how nice it would be if I was high enough to jump. Never knew that was a concerning thought.\u201d \u2014\u00a0Brittany B.<\/span><\/p>\n

5.<\/strong> \u201cWhen I was really young, like grade-school, I never understood why all of the other children were so happy and carefree. Everyone else seemed great at making friends and enjoyed being a child, but I couldn\u2019t enjoy anything. I felt an overwhelming sense of sadness even at a young age. Nothing was enjoyable, I couldn\u2019t make or keep friends, I was constantly doubting myself and worrying about every little thing. I questioned my existence on a daily basis, I just couldn\u2019t be happy, but was too young to understand what depression was.\u201d \u2014\u00a0Audrey L.<\/span><\/p>\n

6.<\/strong> \u201cFor me, it was not being able to focus. My grades dropped from straight As to Fs from what seemed like out of nowhere. I didn\u2019t feel the excitement of doing anything anymore. I got extremely detached from everyone, I no longer cared what happened to me. I just kind of stayed away from other kids, and it took more effort than I\u2019d like to admit to even talk to anyone. I stopped taking care of myself. I got made fun of for it. I ended up extremely suicidal from everything and to hide the fact that I was suicidal, I ended up just faking a smile and not showing any other emotions.\u201d \u2014\u00a0Athena C.<\/span><\/p>\n

7.<\/strong> \u201cLosing all your friends, sleeping all the time, never wanting to wake up, not wanting to eat, never wanting to hang out with the people you would normally hang out with, not bothering to do your normal routine, grades slipping because you just don\u2019t care anymore, jealously and anger at anyone who seems to be happy.\u201d \u2014\u00a0Danee C.<\/span><\/p>\n

8.<\/strong> \u201cFeeling more tired, losing interest in things I loved, being less outgoing, more shy. I used to not care what people thought of me until I became severely bullied and beaten. I then started worrying what people thought of me. I felt mentally drained and didn\u2019t enjoy school and was distant from good friends.\u201d \u2014\u00a0Karalyn G.<\/span><\/p>\n

9.<\/strong> \u201cIn high school, I would wake up and cry because I had to go to school. I was afraid all of the time. I got overwhelmed by schoolwork that should have been easy for me. On one occasion, I seriously contemplated suicide<\/a><\/span> because of an assignment due that I hadn\u2019t started. Looking back, there are years that are very dim and hard to remember \u2014 a trait of my adult depressive episodes. I\u2019m lucky I didn\u2019t happen to know anyone who drank or used drugs, because I\u2019m sure I would have used those things as an out.\u201d \u2014\u00a0Genevieve O.<\/p>\n

10.<\/strong> \u201cYour brain will tell you worst possible scenarios. Intrusive thoughts will be mean to you and tell you that you don\u2019t deserve to enjoy life. The thoughts will tell you to abstain from things you enjoy. Depression is a living being trying to always bring you down.\u201d \u2014\u00a0Keith B.<\/span><\/p>\n

1K+<\/span>Save<\/span><\/p>\n

11.<\/strong> \u201cI quit my first university due to \u2018home sickness.\u2019 Now I\u2019ve realized it was depression that caused the fatigue, social anxiety<\/a><\/span> and loss of interest in everything I had been doing.\u201d \u2014\u00a0Magdalena K.<\/p>\n

12.<\/strong> \u201cThe psychosomatic parts of it that my family didn\u2019t recognize or even know about. The headaches, the tummy aches, coming home from school with panic attacks, unable to sleep at night, or sleeping too much. I was so young. And looking back, the signs were always there.\u201d \u2014\u00a0Jessica I.<\/span><\/p>\n

13.<\/strong> \u201cLonging for death and wanting to die since the tender age of 7. I still have my journals from back then. Perhaps it started even earlier, when I was even younger I played at the local graveyard a lot, laying down on graves and wishing to die.\u00a0Ever since I was little I always felt unwanted, like I was a burden to everybody and nobody wanted to have me around. When I tried to open up they told me I was being dramatic, oversensitive, I was acting out and I was just weird and it was all in my head. \u00a0I had problems focussing, finishing schoolwork and my grades were terrible. I hated the world so I made my own world in my head. I still go there sometimes.\u201d \u2014\u00a0Ezra P.<\/span><\/p>\n

14.<\/strong> \u201cI frequently felt frustrated that everyone thought it was funny that I was so unhappy all of the time. My teachers, especially in high school, would revel when I would crack a smile and laugh. Looking back on those moments makes me realize how I went about creating this mask\/persona that embraces the comedy to hide the reality of my self-loathing and angry tragedy that rumbles on the inside.\u201d \u2014\u00a0Sean C.<\/span><\/p>\n

15.<\/strong> \u201cI had really bad anger issues, and it was hard to control my emotions. I didn\u2019t know what was wrong with me when I was a teenager, it was really hard. I was suicidal and self-harmed. I wish I had been diagnosed earlier, instead of having friends and teachers tell me I was faking it for attention.\u201d \u2014\u00a0Kate W.<\/span><\/p>\n

16.<\/strong> \u201cI can\u2019t remember a time when I didn\u2019t feel exhausted. In middle school and the beginning of high school, I begged<\/i> my parents to be homeschooled because I always stayed up at night crying about having to go there the next day. Either that, or I would stay up to make sure my homework was perfect, because if it wasn\u2019t, that meant I was stupid and worthless.\u201d \u2014\u00a0Sarah K.<\/span><\/p>\n

17.<\/strong> \u201cI was constantly dwelling over every mistake. There were times where I wished I would be treated as less than family and that I didn\u2019t deserve a bed. I was constantly feeling as less than my siblings and had a streak to be perfect. I was constantly overloading my schedule with extracurriculars to get more attention from teachers because I felt so incredibly alone.\u201d \u2014\u00a0Aislinn G.<\/span><\/p>\n

18.<\/strong> \u201cI was scared of everything. I wet myself many times at school because I was frightened of getting locked in the toilets. I once walked out of school and went home by myself \u2014 aged about 5 \u2014 because I just couldn\u2019t cope with being there. And I started to self-harm<\/a><\/span> in a very minor way \u2014 hitting myself with my hairbrush until I bruised \u2014 at around 8\u00a0years of age. But I could never tell anyone how I felt, or let my guard down; I was the one who never cried, even when I broke my leg. I was officially diagnosed with depression aged 13.\u201d \u2014 Lucy D.<\/p>\n

19.<\/strong> \u201cFrom a young age, I would fantasize about suicide. Stories about me or imagined characters I would think up while daydreaming. I remember either oversleeping or not being able to sleep for long periods. I would get nagged by my mom so I thought I was just lazy.\u201d \u2014\u00a0Chelsea M.<\/span><\/p>\n

20.<\/strong> \u201cI remember writing in this diary I had when I was like 7 or 8 that I just wanted to \u2018go away.\u2019 Not to run away but disappear completely right there and then. It\u2019s weird because I didn\u2019t really know the concept of suicide back then, but I just remember not wanting to exist.\u201d \u2014 Kate S<\/span><\/p>\n

21.<\/strong> \u201cAlways feeling like there was a black cloud casting a shadow over me even when things were happy. Never feeling like I was enough \u2014 I always could have been better. Feeling ashamed of myself for no real reason\u2026 just feeling like I didn\u2019t fit in anywhere. Like I didn\u2019t belong in this life. Thoughts and feelings I\u2019ve had ever since I was little but didn\u2019t realize it was depression and anxiety for many years.\u201d \u2014\u00a0Jennifer L.<\/span><\/p>\n

22.<\/strong> \u201cI had no desire to be around my parents or friends. I would stay in my room and read constantly to avoid being around people. I couldn\u2019t pay attention in school (but still made straight As so my parents weren\u2019t concerned). I would chew on the hem of my shirt and pick at my lips almost constantly.\u201d \u2014\u00a0Amanda M.<\/span><\/p>\n

23.<\/strong> \u201cFor me, it was not being able to sleep, feeling guilty for no reason, that\u2019s what got me. I was scared of things I\u2019ve never been scared of before, and most of the time the world felt like it was crashing down around me. I\u2019m thankful I had a nurse sister who caught the signs and told me to see a doctor, but not everyone is as lucky. Your feelings matter and are valid. If you feel like there\u2019s something wrong, get checked! Because you never know.\u201d \u2014\u00a0Devin W.<\/span><\/p>\n

* Original article by\u00a0Sarah Schuster<\/a>\u00a0appeared in The Mighty.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\n
\n

* Click here to find out more about Terezia Farkas\u00a0<\/a>and Depression Help<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

\u00a0Join the conversation. Leave a comment. Ask a question.\u00a0<\/strong><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
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\"Heart<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Growing up, most of us aren\u2019t taught to look out for signs of\u00a0depression. So if you\u2019re experiencing it, especially as a teenager, it\u2019s easy to think there\u2019s just something wrong with you\u00a0\u2014 and it\u2019s easy for parents and other adults to pass you off as another moody kid. 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