{"id":1550,"date":"2016-07-13T17:01:07","date_gmt":"2016-07-13T17:01:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/depressionhelp\/?p=1550"},"modified":"2016-07-13T17:01:16","modified_gmt":"2016-07-13T17:01:16","slug":"1550","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/depressionhelp\/2016\/07\/1550.html","title":{"rendered":"Blending Personal Stories And Group Stories Builds Respect"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"blending<\/a><\/p>\n

Everyone has a personal story. A story of \u201cI\u201d and \u201cMe\u201d. Groups want your story to blend into their story of \u201cWe\u201d and \u201cUs\u201d. But everyone is unique. Sometimes, you simply can\u2019t blend in.<\/span><\/p>\n

The basis for any relationship is the exchange of stories. <\/span><\/h2>\n

Nothing is black or white. Everyone has the responsibility to listen and reflect on each other\u2019s story. Why? Personal stories make up the group story. Blending personal and group stories builds a safe communication space, and a relationship of respect and inclusiveness. <\/span><\/p>\n

For example, you\u2019re depressed because you\u2019re transgender. Your personal story of \u201cwho I am\u201d isn\u2019t what\u2019s making you depressed. It\u2019s the group story of \u201cwhat I should be\u201d and the \u201cus versus them.\u201d If only the group would listen respectfully and engage in a conversation of inclusiveness, your life would feel a whole lot easier to live.<\/span><\/p>\n

Stories are the essence of life<\/span><\/h3>\n

My personal story is my<\/b> narrative of my<\/b> life. It\u2019s the story I tell myself over and over, of who I am and what I can become. Sometimes it\u2019s true. Sometimes it\u2019s twisted by lies I tell myself. Other times it makes no sense. That\u2019s okay. It\u2019s me trying to make sense of myself, the world, and the universe. It\u2019s the essence of life, of the meaning of why I exist. <\/span><\/p>\n

My personal story is the foundation of my mental health. I\u2019m depressed. It\u2019s important for my recovery to tell my story over and over. To get it out there in the open, out from the dark corners of my mind. When my personal story doesn\u2019t match or fit in with the group story, problems and conflicts arise. That\u2019s when I lose hope, or don\u2019t believe there\u2019s anyone out there to help me.<\/span><\/p>\n

Personal stories aren\u2019t group stories<\/span><\/h3>\n

Personal stories<\/b> are just that – personal. It\u2019s about you. It\u2019s what you believe, understand, know, and are. It\u2019s your past revealed in present you. It\u2019s the hopes and dreams you have for your future. It\u2019s your gender, sexual orientation, race – things that are part of you but which others label, judge, and try to control.<\/span><\/p>\n

Group stories<\/b>, on the other hand, are the stories of a group of people. It\u2019s a whole bunch of personal stories linked together by common threads. That\u2019s the key – common threads. For example,\u00a0 <\/span>Aboriginal Natives and African Americans both have histories of racism, discrimination, violence and abuse. These are the common threads. But the personal stories of each group are different. Personal stories make up the fabric of each group. In the end, the collective experience of each group is different because each group endured similar experiences differently. <\/span><\/p>\n

When your personal story doesn\u2019t fit in with the group<\/span><\/h3>\n

Personal stories don\u2019t have to fit in with the bigger group. That\u2019s something taught by the group to keep control and a certain homogenous flavour. But everyone is unique. So when your personal story doesn\u2019t match the group\u2019s story, you stand out. You\u2019re labelled as different, broken, or wrong. So you try to fit in. You hide your personal story. You hide \u201cMe.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

But the story of \u201cMe\u201d doesn\u2019t need to hide. \u201cI\u201d can find support groups inside the bigger group. Depression forums where people safely and openly talk about their experiences. Support groups, peer counselling – these groups connect me with people who have similar personal stories. I realize that I\u2019m not alone. That my story matters. <\/span><\/p>\n

Connecting head and heart<\/span><\/h3>\n

The exchange of stories brings about respect and inclusiveness. When you listen to someone\u2019s story, you need to hear what is being said. Nothing is black and white. You need to open your heart and soul to the person. That\u2019s the most profound way of learning, of bringing relationships into your life, because what you understand of the person\u2019s story is connecting your head with your heart.<\/span><\/p>\n

\n

<\/h4>\n

Visit me on Twitter. Toss me a comment or two below. I\u2019d love to hear from you.<\/h4>\n
Twitter: \u00a0@tereziafarkas \u00a0#Positivity \u00a0#selfcare \u00a0#mindfulness<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
*Click here to learn more about Terezia Farkas and Depression Help<\/a><\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Everyone has a personal story. A story of \u201cI\u201d and \u201cMe\u201d. Groups want your story to blend into their story of \u201cWe\u201d and \u201cUs\u201d. But everyone is unique. Sometimes, you simply can\u2019t blend in. The basis for any relationship is the exchange of stories. Nothing is black or white. Everyone has the responsibility to listen…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":578,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8,102,97],"tags":[2,12,158,6,121],"class_list":["post-1550","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-depression-help-2","category-motivation","category-inspiration","tag-depression","tag-emotional-health","tag-healing","tag-terezia-farkas","tag-wellness"],"yoast_head":"\nBlending Personal Stories And Group Stories Builds Respect - Depression Help<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Everyone has a personal story. A story of \u201cI\u201d and \u201cMe\u201d. Groups want your story to blend into their story of \u201cWe\u201d and \u201cUs\u201d. But everyone is unique. 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