{"id":616,"date":"2009-05-28T06:13:00","date_gmt":"2009-05-28T06:13:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/deaconsbench\/2009\/05\/how-about-a-hug.html"},"modified":"2009-05-28T06:13:00","modified_gmt":"2009-05-28T06:13:00","slug":"how-about-a-hug","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/deaconsbench\/2009\/05\/how-about-a-hug.html","title":{"rendered":"How about a hug?"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>I’ve often said the world can be divided into two kinds of people: huggers, and everybody else.<\/p>\n

Now, the New York Times<\/a> is reporting that, among teengers, it’s become hip to hug:<\/p>\n

There is so much hugging at Pascack Hills High School in Montvale, N.J., that students have broken down the hugs by type:<\/p>\n

There is the basic friend hug, probably the most popular, and the bear hug, of course. But now there is also the bear claw, when a boy embraces a girl awkwardly with his elbows poking out.<\/p>\n

There is the hug that starts with a high-five, then moves into a fist bump, followed by a slap on the back and an embrace.<\/p>\n

There\u2019s the shake and lean; the hug from behind; and, the newest addition, the triple \u2014 any combination of three girls and boys hugging at once.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019re not afraid, we just get in and hug,\u201d said Danny Schneider, a junior at the school, where hallway hugging began shortly after 7 a.m. on a recent morning as students arrived. \u201cThe guy friends, we don\u2019t care. You just get right in there and jump in.\u201d<\/p>\n

There are romantic hugs, too, but that is not what these teenagers are talking about.<\/p>\n

Girls embracing girls, girls embracing boys, boys embracing each other \u2014 the hug has become the favorite social greeting when teenagers meet or part these days. Teachers joke about \u201cone hour\u201d and \u201csix hour\u201d hugs, saying that students hug one another all day as if they were separated for the entire summer.<\/p>\n

A measure of how rapidly the ritual is spreading is that some students complain of peer pressure to hug to fit in. And schools from Hillsdale, N.J., to Bend, Ore., wary in a litigious era about sexual harassment or improper touching \u2014 or citing hallway clogging and late arrivals to class \u2014 have banned hugging or imposed a three-second rule.<\/p>\n

Parents, who grew up in a generation more likely to use the handshake, the low-five or the high-five, are often baffled by the close physical contact. \u201cIt\u2019s a wordless custom, from what I\u2019ve observed,\u201d wrote Beth J. Harpaz, the mother of two boys, 11 and 16, and a parenting columnist for The Associated Press, in a new book, \u201c13 Is the New 18.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd there doesn\u2019t seem to be any other overt way in which they acknowledge knowing each other,\u201d she continued, describing the scene at her older son\u2019s school in Manhattan. \u201cNo hi, no smile, no wave, no high-five \u2014 just the hug. Witnessing this interaction always makes me feel like I am a tourist in a country where I do not know the customs and cannot speak the language.\u201d<\/p>\n

For teenagers, though, hugging is hip. And not hugging?<\/p>\n

\u201cIf somebody were to not hug someone, to never hug anybody, people might be just a little wary of them and think they are weird or peculiar,\u201d said Gabrielle Brown, a freshman at Fiorello H. LaGuardia High School in Manhattan.<\/p>\n

Comforting as the hug may be, principals across the country have clamped down. \u201cTouching and physical contact is very dangerous territory,\u201d said Noreen Hajinlian, the principal of George G. White School, a junior high school in Hillsdale, N.J., who banned hugging two years ago. \u201cIt was needless hugging \u2014 they are in the hallways before they go to class. It wasn\u2019t a greeting. It was happening all day.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Read on at the link<\/a>.<\/p>\n

PHOTO:<\/b> by Fred R. Conrad\/New York Times<\/i><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I’ve often said the world can be divided into two kinds of people: huggers, and everybody else. Now, the New York Times is reporting that, among teengers, it’s become hip to hug: There is so much hugging at Pascack Hills High School in Montvale, N.J., that students have broken down the hugs by type: There…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":365,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[12,20],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-616","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-ripped-from-the-headlines","category-this-and-that"],"yoast_head":"\nHow about a hug? - The Deacon's Bench<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/deaconsbench\/2009\/05\/how-about-a-hug.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"How about a hug? - The Deacon's Bench\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I’ve often said the world can be divided into two kinds of people: huggers, and everybody else. 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