{"id":4211,"date":"2010-03-22T11:05:45","date_gmt":"2010-03-22T11:05:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/deaconsbench\/2010\/03\/staying-together-for-the-mortgage.html"},"modified":"2010-03-22T11:05:45","modified_gmt":"2010-03-22T11:05:45","slug":"staying-together-for-the-mortgage","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/deaconsbench\/2010\/03\/staying-together-for-the-mortgage.html","title":{"rendered":"Staying together for the mortgage"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>The recession may be hard on the pocket book, but <a href=\"http:\/\/www.washingtonpost.com\/wp-dyn\/content\/article\/2010\/03\/21\/AR2010032103139_pf.html\">it may be keeping together more marriages<\/a>, as a result: <\/p>\n<blockquote><p>\n<span class=\"mt-enclosure mt-enclosure-image\"><a href=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/deaconsbench\/Divorce.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" alt=\"Divorce.jpg\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/212\/import\/assets_c\/2010\/03\/Divorce-thumb-250x165-12335.jpg\" width=\"250\" height=\"165\" class=\"mt-image-left\" style=\"float: left;margin: 0 20px 20px 0\" \/><\/a><\/span>In the Great Recession, breaking up is hard to do.<\/p>\n<p>With housing values depressed and jobs disappearing, divorce has become a luxury beyond the reach of some couples. There is often not enough money to pay for separate households or to hire lawyers, fight over children and go to court.<\/p>\n<p>What has always been painful is now desperate and confounding, with a growing number of couples deciding to wait out the economic storm while others take new approaches &#8212; such as living together as they separate.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;I have lots of files sitting in the drawer, where people can&#8217;t move forward,&#8221; says David Goldberg, a divorce lawyer and mediator in Gaithersburg. He has been working in family law for 44 years and says he has never seen a time like this one.<\/p>\n<p>Lately, he said, &#8220;I have a lot of clients who have ended up in bankruptcy.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>The difficulties of divorce in the downturn are familiar to Paulene Foster, a 42-year-old federal worker from Olney, who says her precarious finances forced her to wait a year. If that wasn&#8217;t enough, she also shared a house with her estranged husband &#8212; him in the basement, her upstairs. Strapped months went by as the couple were saddled with a suburban townhouse that would not sell.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;It was a mess,&#8221; Foster said.<\/p>\n<p>Her divorce, filed last month with a $105 check after going to a self-help law clinic in Montgomery County, comes as the national rate of failed marriages has declined slightly &#8212; not necessarily because divorce-minded couples are happier than before but, some experts suggest, because they don&#8217;t have the money to call it quits.<\/p>\n<p>At one Woodbridge law firm, 20 to 25 percent of clients seeking a divorce live under the same roof as their estranged spouse to save money as they await court action.<\/p>\n<p>Other couples say they are stymied by the grim reality that they owe more on the family home than they could get if they sold it.<\/p>\n<p>How do they start over if debt is all that&#8217;s left to divide?<\/p>\n<p>Heather Hostetter, who has a divorce practice in Bethesda, said that many couples used to divorce with enough equity in a house so that both spouses could re-create lives not so different from their old ones.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;It used to be you could go own another home,&#8221; she said. &#8220;Maybe it&#8217;s a little smaller, maybe it&#8217;s not in the same neighborhood.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Now you see people who go from homeowners to renters.&#8221;<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p> Check out <a href=\"http:\/\/www.washingtonpost.com\/wp-dyn\/content\/article\/2010\/03\/21\/AR2010032103139_pf.html\">the WaPo link<\/a> for more.  <\/p>\n<div><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The recession may be hard on the pocket book, but it may be keeping together more marriages, as a result: In the Great Recession, breaking up is hard to do. With housing values depressed and jobs disappearing, divorce has become a luxury beyond the reach of some couples. There is often not enough money to&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[21],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4211","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-the-people-in-the-pews"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Staying together for the mortgage - The Deacon&#039;s Bench<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/deaconsbench\/2010\/03\/staying-together-for-the-mortgage.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Staying together for the mortgage - The Deacon&#039;s Bench\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"The recession may be hard on the pocket book, but it may be keeping together more marriages, as a result: In the Great Recession, breaking up is hard to do. With housing values depressed and jobs disappearing, divorce has become a luxury beyond the reach of some couples. There is often not enough money to&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/deaconsbench\/2010\/03\/staying-together-for-the-mortgage.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"The Deacon&#039;s Bench\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2010-03-22T11:05:45+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/deaconsbench\/files\/import\/assets_c\/2010\/03\/Divorce-thumb-250x165-12335.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"jmcgee\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Staying together for the mortgage - The Deacon&#039;s Bench","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/deaconsbench\/2010\/03\/staying-together-for-the-mortgage.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Staying together for the mortgage - The Deacon&#039;s Bench","og_description":"The recession may be hard on the pocket book, but it may be keeping together more marriages, as a result: In the Great Recession, breaking up is hard to do. 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