{"id":4043,"date":"2010-02-13T10:26:00","date_gmt":"2010-02-13T10:26:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/deaconsbench\/2010\/02\/homily-for-february-14-2010-world-marriage-day.html"},"modified":"2010-02-13T10:26:00","modified_gmt":"2010-02-13T10:26:00","slug":"homily-for-february-14-2010-world-marriage-day","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/deaconsbench\/2010\/02\/homily-for-february-14-2010-world-marriage-day.html","title":{"rendered":"Homily for February 14, 2010: World Marriage Day"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>We&#8217;ve all been digging out of the storm that we got this week, and I think most of us are grateful that we didn&#8217;t get socked with snow the way they did down in Washington.  Call it &#8220;Snowmageddon&#8221; or &#8220;Snowpacalype,&#8221; it was a storm for the record books.<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s one that people will be talking about for years to come.<\/p>\n<p><span class=\"mt-enclosure mt-enclosure-image\"><a href=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/deaconsbench\/20100207rd_wedding01_330.jpeg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" alt=\"20100207rd_wedding01_330.jpeg\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/212\/import\/assets_c\/2010\/02\/20100207rd_wedding01_330-thumb-250x184-11507.jpeg\" class=\"mt-image-left\" style=\"margin: 0pt 20px 20px 0pt;float: left\" height=\"184\" width=\"250\" \/><\/a><\/span>And two people who will have a lot to talk about are Jen and Raymond Fisher, from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.  Their story was published in the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette last week.<\/p>\n<p>Jen and Raymond became engaged last summer, and set last Saturday for their wedding date.  They were to be married at St. Paul&#8217;s Cathedral outside Pittsburgh.  Jen had dreamed of a beautiful winter wedding.  She even selected a snow-flake shaped diamond necklace for the occasion.  Every day, she prayed for just a little snow.  She thought it would be so pretty.<\/p>\n<p>Well, be careful what you pray for.<\/p>\n<p>Nearly everything that could have gone wrong&#8230;did.<\/p>\n<p>As the bride&#8217;s father put it later, with a smile: &#8220;We make plans, and God laughs.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>The night before the wedding he had to ditch his car in the snow about a mile from his home.  After trudging through the drifts to get to his house, he realized that he had left his tuxedo in the car.<\/p>\n<p>Saturday morning, the bride and her bridesmaids arrived at Macy&#8217;s to get their hair and makeup done, only to find the store was closed because of the storm.   Four hairdressers managed to make it in though &#8211; some getting there on foot &#8211; because they didn&#8217;t want to disappoint the bride.<\/p>\n<p>The horse-drawn carriage ride to the reception had to be cancelled.<\/p>\n<p>The priest, a family friend, was snowed in and couldn&#8217;t get there.  Another priest from the Cathedral agreed to fill in.<\/p>\n<p>By the time the wedding started, two thirds of the guests didn&#8217;t make it.<\/p>\n<p>Remarkably, the bride wasn&#8217;t upset.  Jen works as an intensive care nurse at a nearby hospital.  She watches life and death every day.  She wasn&#8217;t going to allow herself to be bothered by the blizzard of the century.<\/p>\n<p>Well, of course, the wedding happened &#8211; smaller, and simpler, but just as meaningful.  Maybe even more meaningful than they realized.  St. Paul&#8217;s Cathedral in Pennsylvania became their shelter from the storm.<\/p>\n<p>On this Valentine&#8217;s Day weekend, when the Church is also marking World Marriage Day, there are lessons here that I think can be applied to life &#8211; and to marriage.<\/p>\n<p>First, be careful what you pray for.  Or, as St. Teresa of Avila once put it, &#8220;More unhappiness is caused by answered prayers than by unanswered ones.&#8221;  So if you pray for snow, don&#8217;t complain when you get a blizzard.   That&#8217;s true about a lot of things, not just the weather.<\/p>\n<p>Second, the world doesn&#8217;t owe you a horse-drawn carriage.  Sometimes you have to just get out and walk.  Life is infinitely easier if you have someone walking with you &#8211; not ahead of you, not behind you, but beside you.<\/p>\n<p>Third, to quote the old Beatles song, we get by with a little help from our friends.  The story of the Fishers&#8217; wedding is about more than two people and a wedding that almost didn&#8217;t happen.  It&#8217;s really a story of community &#8211; of people looking out for one another, helping one another, uplifting one another. No marriage exists in a vacuum.   We need the support of friends, the wisdom of parents and grandparents.  We need other hands to pull us out of the snowdrifts.  And trust me: there will always be snowdrifts.  And ice patches.  And times when the power goes out and the refrigerator is empty.<\/p>\n<p>And fourth: God&#8217;s house is more than a place for a party.  It is our shelter from the storm.<\/p>\n<p>The readings from today help to remind us of that.<\/p>\n<p>In Luke&#8217;s gospel, we hear again the words of the Beatitudes &#8211; how the poor, the hungry and the weeping are, in fact, blessed.   We might wonder how that is possible.<\/p>\n<p>But go to the first reading, from Jeremiah, and you will hear the ancient prophet&#8217;s words of comfort and consolation &#8211; words that can help any couple through any storm.<\/p>\n<p><i>&#8220;Blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose hope is the Lord.&#8221;<\/i><\/p>\n<p>God is the silent partner &#8212; the Great Collaborator &#8212; in the happiest, healthiest, holiest marriages.  Give Him your trust, and your hope.  He hears every plea, mediates every argument, nurtures every new life into being from the love of a husband and wife.<\/p>\n<p>When I celebrate baptisms, I encourage the parents to make their home what has been called, so beautifully, a &#8220;domestic church.&#8221;  The bond between husband and wife is the sanctuary of that church, the sacred space.  There, &#8220;the trust in the Lord, the hope in the Lord&#8221; can flourish.<\/p>\n<p>That domestic church is one without walls.  You could find it anywhere.  It is at the kitchen table, and in the living room, and in the bedroom.<\/p>\n<p>It is at the other end of the phone, when you&#8217;re calling from halfway around the world to say goodnight.<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s in the car, on the way to the hospital, or in the subway, on the way to work.   It is a place where a smile is a prayer, and a kiss is a psalm, and just a look in the eye can contain an entire liturgy.  <i>That<\/i> is the domestic church.<\/p>\n<p>Somehow, I think Jen and Raymond Fisher may already understand that.  They certainly know that a marriage is more than a wedding.  And as we mark another World Marriage Day, I pray that other people come to understand that, too.<\/p>\n<p>Remember those words from Jeremiah: &#8220;Blessed is one who trusts in the Lord, whose hope is the Lord.&#8221;   If every couple took those words to heart, imagine how blessed every marriage would be.<\/p>\n<p>Because if you live those words, no storm is too intense.  No blizzard is too blinding.<\/p>\n<p>Every day can be seen for what it truly is:  a blessing that has been given, and one that needs to be shared.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>We&#8217;ve all been digging out of the storm that we got this week, and I think most of us are grateful that we didn&#8217;t get socked with snow the way they did down in Washington. Call it &#8220;Snowmageddon&#8221; or &#8220;Snowpacalype,&#8221; it was a storm for the record books. It&#8217;s one that people will be talking&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4043","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-homilies"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Homily for February 14, 2010: World Marriage Day - The Deacon&#039;s Bench<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/deaconsbench\/2010\/02\/homily-for-february-14-2010-world-marriage-day.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Homily for February 14, 2010: World Marriage Day - The Deacon&#039;s Bench\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"We&#8217;ve all been digging out of the storm that we got this week, and I think most of us are grateful that we didn&#8217;t get socked with snow the way they did down in Washington. 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It&#8217;s one that people will be talking&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/deaconsbench\/2010\/02\/homily-for-february-14-2010-world-marriage-day.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"The Deacon&#039;s Bench\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2010-02-13T10:26:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/deaconsbench\/files\/import\/assets_c\/2010\/02\/20100207rd_wedding01_330-thumb-250x184-11507.jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"jmcgee\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Homily for February 14, 2010: World Marriage Day - The Deacon&#039;s Bench","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/deaconsbench\/2010\/02\/homily-for-february-14-2010-world-marriage-day.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Homily for February 14, 2010: World Marriage Day - The Deacon&#039;s Bench","og_description":"We&#8217;ve all been digging out of the storm that we got this week, and I think most of us are grateful that we didn&#8217;t get socked with snow the way they did down in Washington. 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