Ohio University students Jenna Tricaso and her boyfriend, Max Laird, have created a new holiday, a celebration they call \u201cChrismakkuh.\u201d<\/p>\n
Tricaso, a junior hearing, speech and language science major, is Catholic, and Laird, a senior political science major, is Jewish. The couple will spend winter break commemorating both faiths.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe are getting a Christmas tree for the apartment, and I\u2019m bringing down a menorah,\u201d Laird said. \u201cWe\u2019re going to celebrate both and kind of intertwine them.\u201d<\/p>\n
Approximately 28 million U.S. couples that are married or in domestic partnerships live in mixed-religion homes, according to the American Religious Identification Survey done in 2001 by The City University of New York. This is nearly a quarter of all marriages or domestic partnerships.<\/p>\n
While many couples make their relationship work, maintaining a bi-religious relationship can be difficult.<\/p>\n
\u201cIf the partners grew up practicing different religions and continue to strongly identify with their religion, there are going to be some issues they will have to face when living in a committed relationship,\u201d said Dr. Paul Castelino, a psychologist and clinical counselor with OU Counseling and Psychological Services.<\/p>\n
He said problems can include attending religious rituals, giving up one\u2019s faith, being rejected by a partner\u2019s family, moving into a community that practices a different faith and raising children in one partner\u2019s faith.<\/p>\n
According to a May 2006 study by Scott M. Myers published in the Journal of Marriage and Family, married partners that share the same religious background report greater marital quality than do bi-religious partners.<\/p>\n
For Tricaso and Laird, combining two religions hasn\u2019t always been easy. Tricaso grew up in a strict Italian Catholic household, with a father who wanted her to date someone of the same background.<\/p>\n
\u201cI never thought I would date somebody that wasn\u2019t my faith,\u201d she said. \u201cWhen Max and I started talking, I was freaking out about it a lot. Taking the next step was huge for me.\u201d<\/p>\n
After initial concerns, the couple moved forward by celebrating both faiths.<\/p>\n
\u201cI just think that there\u2019s nothing wrong with bringing more than one religion together if they\u2019re working toward the same objective,\u201d Laird said.<\/p>\n
Tricaso chimed in, stating, \u201cOnce you learn to respect each other, that\u2019s what makes everything else fall into place.\u201d<\/p>\n
Tiana McKenna, a freshman Honors Tutorial College English major, and her partner, Benjamin Toth, haven\u2019t let different beliefs get in the way of a major commitment.<\/p>\n
McKenna, an atheist, is engaged to Toth, a Catholic who attends college in Elyria. She said they disagree about certain topics, such as whether to raise their children in a religious background, but always find ways to compromise.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe work it out like we do any other difference,\u201d McKenna said, adding that in the end they just acknowledge their different opinions.<\/p>\n
For Toth, the bi-religious relationship has benefited both partners.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m open to the way she believes things, and we understand one another better because of that,\u201d he said. \u201cThat gives us a better scope of understanding of life. It makes us independent.\u201d<\/p>\n
The couple\u2019s toughest trial might emerge with the walk down the aisle.<\/p>\n
\u201cThe wedding issue is going to be a big deal,\u201d McKenna said, explaining that she doesn\u2019t want to be married by a Catholic priest. Toth respects her choice, but his grandparents, who are devout Catholics, might not be willing to forgo the tradition, she said.<\/p>\n
The ability of partners to triumph over religious differences can depend on their faiths.<\/p>\n
\u201cSome religions are more accepting than others, but I think it really depends on the families\u2019 attitude toward other religions,\u201d said Castelino, a psychologist and clinical counselor.<\/p>\n
Kathryn Young, a sophomore English major and a Catholic, knows firsthand how acceptance can impact a relationship.<\/p>\n
\u201cI worry a lot about taking my boyfriend to (Catholic) mass because he feels less accepted and less comfortable,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n
Her boyfriend, Vijay Welch, is a theater major at Youngstown State and the son of two Methodist ministers. Young feels accepted at Welch\u2019s church, but her traditional Catholic upbringing and standards are unfamiliar to him, she said.<\/p>\n
While Welch doesn\u2019t feel as comfortable at Catholic mass, he respects the religion, a value he attributes to his parents\u2019 work as pastors.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s actually why we coexist so peacefully together,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n
He and Young also had advice for other bi-religious couples.<\/p>\n
\u201cTry to find out more about your partner\u2019s faith,\u201d Young said. \u201cYou may not agree with it, but you can see how it has affected their life and personality.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s all tolerance and respect,\u201d Welch added. \u201cIf you respect the other person\u2019s religion or denomination, then that respect will be returned.\u201d <\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
The holiday season is creeping up on us — and for some, that can mean a lot of stress, particularly on the subject of religion. What happens when more than one faith is involved? At Ohio University, the school paper has an interesting look at “bi-religious” families: Ohio University students Jenna Tricaso and her boyfriend,…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":204,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3385","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-this-and-that"],"yoast_head":"\n
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Prior to that, Deacon Greg worked for 26 years as a writer and producer for CBS News, where he contributed to \"The CBS Evening News with Katie Couric,\" \"60 Minutes II,\" \"48 Hours,\" (Emmy Award, Writers Guild of America Award) and \"Sunday Morning.\" He was co-writer for the acclaimed documentary \"9\/11,\" hosted by Robert DeNiro. (Emmy Award, Christopher Award, Peabody Award, Writers Guild of America Award.) His radio essays were featured in the bestselling book \"Deadlines and Datelines\" by Dan Rather. He's also a two-time winner of the Catholic Press Association Award. Other places you may find him: AMERICA, U.S. CATHOLIC, CATHOLIC DIGEST, REALITY (Redemptorist Communications) and THE BROOKLYN TABLET. He also contributes homiletic reflections to the parish resource CONNECT!, published by Liturgical Publications. In November 2009, he began serving a three-year term as a consultant to the Communications Committee of the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops (USCCB). Deacon Greg grew up in Maryland (Go Terps!) but he and his wife today live in the beautiful borough of Queens, New York. You can contact Deacon Greg at dcngreg@gmail.com.","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/deaconsbench\/author\/gkandra"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/deaconsbench\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3385","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/deaconsbench\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/deaconsbench\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/deaconsbench\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/204"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/deaconsbench\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3385"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/deaconsbench\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3385\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/deaconsbench\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3385"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/deaconsbench\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3385"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/deaconsbench\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3385"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}