{"id":2577,"date":"2008-07-30T21:32:00","date_gmt":"2008-07-30T21:32:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/deaconsbench\/2008\/07\/when-catholics-fall-in-love.html"},"modified":"2008-07-30T21:32:00","modified_gmt":"2008-07-30T21:32:00","slug":"when-catholics-fall-in-love","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/deaconsbench\/2008\/07\/when-catholics-fall-in-love.html","title":{"rendered":"When Catholics fall in love"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Looking for Mr. (or Ms. or Miss) Right?  Take a number and get in line.  A lot of Catholics are looking, literally and figuratively, for their soul mate.  <\/p>\n<p>Which makes <a href=\"http:\/\/www.takimag.com\/blogs\/article\/riding_the_short_bus_to_love\/\">this charming essay<\/a> by John Zmirak all the more poignant and sweet: <\/p>\n<blockquote><p> <a href=\"http:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/_0DySLTT4PWo\/SJEY87gSIpI\/AAAAAAAACsU\/fBp_DYA0xLI\/s1600-h\/HoldingHands.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" style=\"float:left;margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer;cursor:hand\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/_0DySLTT4PWo\/SJEY87gSIpI\/AAAAAAAACsU\/fBp_DYA0xLI\/s320\/HoldingHands.jpg\" border=\"0\" \/><\/a>It\u2019s no news to paleos that the Net empowers eccentrics of every sort, and helps us find each other. There are Facebook groups that summon from airless basement rooms the fans of squabbling heirs to the vacant throne of Byzantium, and dating services catering to the most peculiar tastes, and the tiniest coteries of dispossessed souls.<\/p>\n<p>For instance, orthodox Catholics. No, not the folks who happened to grow up Italian-American or Irish in the wake of Vatican II, and learned a little less about their Faith than most 19th century Haitians. I mean the much smaller subset of people who have blundered somehow onto the actual teachings of the Church\u2014and even worse, come to believe them. From a mass religion that exercised a sweaty grip on the minds of tens of millions, the American church in the past 40 years has become something very different: An exotic, almost esoteric sect of old believers, hidden inside the shell of a mainline Protestant denomination. Apart from the occasional Latin Mass full of elderly anti-Masonic activists, we typically sit through our dismal local services with teeth clenched and earlids shut, and spot each other (if at all) by secret handshakes and coded phrases. See that blonde over there, a friend might nudge you with his elbow. She took Communion on the tongue. I wonder if she\u2019s single\u2026. Such thoughts don\u2019t always help you to pray.<\/p>\n<p>It made matters worse that for most of my career I\u2019ve worked from home, and missed out on all the happenstance meetings at water cooler and Xerox machine that can sometimes prove so fruitful. The casually glimpsed scapular dangling from an ivory, swanlike neck \u2026 the smudge of ash on a high, noble forehead that shows up one Wednesday every year, like a sticker reading \u201cMarriage Material.\u201d I found out the hard way that none of this happens by email.<\/p>\n<p>So as soon as I heard about Catholic dating sites, I signed up for several of them. I wrote up a long and learned-sounding profile, posted pics I hoped were appealing, and began to send off notes to a wide array of bright-seeming, good-looking girls. I tramped off to Boston, Washington, Virginia, North Carolina, even Iowa. I learned (after more years than I\u2019d like to admit) that phone conversations don\u2019t always predict how two people will get along in person, and that photos can sometimes be\u2026 flattering. There are few things worse than having arranged to spend the better part of a weekend with someone six states from home\u2026 and realizing within 8 seconds or so that you want to go back to the airport. It\u2019s worse, of course, when you\u2019re the one still dazzled by surface attraction, and she\u2019s staring at you like the burrito in which she found a human finger.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p> Read on to find out what happened.  And a grateful crunchy h\/t to <a href=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/crunchycon\/2008\/07\/catholic-geeks-a-love-story.html\">Rod Dreher<\/a> for the story and link.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Looking for Mr. (or Ms. or Miss) Right? Take a number and get in line. A lot of Catholics are looking, literally and figuratively, for their soul mate. Which makes this charming essay by John Zmirak all the more poignant and sweet: It\u2019s no news to paleos that the Net empowers eccentrics of every sort,&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":365,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[19,20],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2577","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-links-r-us","category-this-and-that"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>When Catholics fall in love - The Deacon&#039;s Bench<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/deaconsbench\/2008\/07\/when-catholics-fall-in-love.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"When Catholics fall in love - The Deacon&#039;s Bench\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Looking for Mr. (or Ms. or Miss) Right? Take a number and get in line. A lot of Catholics are looking, literally and figuratively, for their soul mate. Which makes this charming essay by John Zmirak all the more poignant and sweet: It\u2019s no news to paleos that the Net empowers eccentrics of every sort,&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/deaconsbench\/2008\/07\/when-catholics-fall-in-love.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"The Deacon&#039;s Bench\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2008-07-30T21:32:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/_0DySLTT4PWo\/SJEY87gSIpI\/AAAAAAAACsU\/fBp_DYA0xLI\/s320\/HoldingHands.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"deacon greg kandra\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"When Catholics fall in love - The Deacon&#039;s Bench","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/deaconsbench\/2008\/07\/when-catholics-fall-in-love.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"When Catholics fall in love - The Deacon&#039;s Bench","og_description":"Looking for Mr. (or Ms. or Miss) Right? 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