{"id":218,"date":"2009-09-07T21:02:00","date_gmt":"2009-09-07T21:02:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/deaconsbench\/2009\/09\/all-i-really-need-to-know-i-learned-from-inglourious-basterds.html"},"modified":"2009-09-07T21:02:00","modified_gmt":"2009-09-07T21:02:00","slug":"all-i-really-need-to-know-i-learned-from-inglourious-basterds","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/deaconsbench\/2009\/09\/all-i-really-need-to-know-i-learned-from-inglourious-basterds.html","title":{"rendered":"All I really need to know I learned from “Inglourious Basterds”"},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/a>I finally went to see the Quentin Tarantino opus “Inglourious Basterds”<\/a> today. I liked it. I didn’t love it, the way I loved “Pulp Fiction” and “Kill Bill,” but it had some typically Tarantinovian touches: cool music, crazy camera work, funky dialogue. And a lot of blood. A whole. Lot. Of blood. <\/p>\n

Having said that, I didn’t quite get the whole, well, point<\/i> of the picture. The ending left me cold. <\/p>\n

But after thinking about it, I did come up with a few morals to the story:<\/p>\n

10. Never hide under the floorboards. It\u2019s the first place they look.<\/p>\n

9. Don\u2019t hold a rendezvous with a bunch of Nazis in a basement. <\/p>\n

8. Watch your testicles. <\/p>\n

7. If you get caught in an ugly shootout, and someone rescues you, remember not to leave behind your shoes. <\/p>\n

6. If you get captured by the Americans and give them valuable information and they let you go, be prepared to invest some money in hats that have big brims. <\/p>\n

5. It\u2019s always good to know a second language. Like, maybe, Italian. <\/p>\n

4. When you go to the movies, it\u2019s better to have a seat on the aisle. <\/p>\n

3. The skills you learned in Little League batting practice can, in fact, be transferred into the real world. <\/p>\n

2. You\u2019re not a really important dictator until you\u2019ve commissioned four or five big paintings of yourself wearing a cape. <\/p>\n

1. Austin Powers will always be Austin Powers, even with a moustache<\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I finally went to see the Quentin Tarantino opus “Inglourious Basterds” today. I liked it. I didn’t love it, the way I loved “Pulp Fiction” and “Kill Bill,” but it had some typically Tarantinovian touches: cool music, crazy camera work, funky dialogue. And a lot of blood. A whole. Lot. Of blood. 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