{"id":2056,"date":"2007-11-09T10:32:00","date_gmt":"2007-11-09T10:32:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/deaconsbench\/2007\/11\/back-from-iraq-a-mothers-story.html"},"modified":"2007-11-09T10:32:00","modified_gmt":"2007-11-09T10:32:00","slug":"back-from-iraq-a-mothers-story","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/deaconsbench\/2007\/11\/back-from-iraq-a-mothers-story.html","title":{"rendered":"Back from Iraq: a mother’s story"},"content":{"rendered":"

I know a few journalists who have been to Iraq, and they always come home with astounding tales to tell. But nothing can quite compare to the stories of the soldiers on the ground, who spend months at a time on the front lines, and make their living every day facing death. The Catholic Herald<\/a> in Arlington, Virginia this week profiles one of them: <\/p>\n

<\/a> Six-year-old Eavan Snellings breaks her hand from her mother\u2019s and points to a white arch-shaped slab with black lettering \u2014 the tombstone of a 25-year-old soldier who died fighting in Operation Iraqi Freedom this September.<\/p>\n

Tracy Snellings crouches down at the edge of the grave \u2014 not yet covered with grass \u2014and reads aloud the carved name, date of birth and date of death. Mother and daughter pause for a moment, then move on through the seemingly endless rows of identical white stones \u2014 a sea of sacrifice stretched before them. <\/p>\n

The visit to Arlington National Cemetery is an emotional journey for Snellings, a Navy Reserve lieutenant who returned only six weeks ago from a six-month deployment in Anbar Province. In visiting the memorial, Snellings said she hoped to pass on some understanding of sacrifice to Eavan, a first-grader at St. Charles Borromeo School in Arlington.<\/p>\n

\u201cShe\u2019s really too young to get it,\u201d Snellings said, but \u201cI want her to understand for you to have what you have these guys are out there every single day.\u201d<\/p>\n

Though the cemetery has always held a special place in her heart, Snellings said that it wasn\u2019t until stationed in Iraq that she finally understood what dying for country meant.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s just different,\u201d she said. \u201cI\u2019ve been in Iraq walking around. I get it. This is a tremendous amount of sacrifice right here.\u201d<\/p>\n

Since returning, that sacrifice has been constantly on Snellings\u2019 mind, as are the troops back in the Middle East. Sitting in her Vienna kitchen on a recent Friday afternoon, a steady rain falling outside, Snellings glances at her watch, wheels turning in her head.<\/p>\n

\u201cRight now it\u2019s 10 o\u2019clock at night,\u201d she said. \u201cThere are still people working, doing their job and going out on patrols. They\u2019re going to be doing this through the night, and they\u2019re going to be doing it tomorrow.\u201d<\/p>\n

That\u2019s life in Iraq for American troops: 12- to 20-hour workdays, seven days a week, holidays included. For half a year, this parishioner of St. Charles Borromeo Church was one of them: living on Asian Standard Time, wearing Kevlar body armor and occasionally riding through the streets in a Humvee. Now she\u2019s back home in Northern Virginia, and the 37-year-old first-time veteran is having trouble getting settled.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s really a difficult adjustment,\u201d Snellings said. \u201cThe hardest thing has been just getting back to a life.\u201d<\/p>\n

Snellings\u2019 mobilization was a result of her 2003 decision to join the Navy Reserves, something she said she\u2019d always wanted to do.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve always been interested in serving \u2014 being a part of something bigger and being able to make a difference,\u201d she said. <\/p>\n

Last December, she got the order to report for active duty. A week later she began three months of training, culminating with her April 5 deployment.<\/p>\n

Now that she\u2019s home, it\u2019s the little things \u2014 unpacking, grocery shopping, paying bills \u2014 that are the most difficult to remember, she said. And she looks at almost everything with a changed perspective. That includes celebrity news, something Snellings said she can no longer stand.<\/p>\n

\u201cI talked to women in Iraq who couldn\u2019t afford to feed their families and who lived in a mud shack that had been shot at,\u201d she said. \u201cAll they want is to provide the next meal for their family and not have their kids accidentally touch an IED and get blown up. This is what it\u2019s about \u2014 survival at the very basic level. Who gives a crap what happened with Britney Spears\u2019 kids?\u201d<\/p>\n

No one in Iraq, anyway. All the troops care about are their jobs \u2014 and that\u2019s all they had to worry about, which made life very simple, Snellings said.<\/p>\n

\u201cYour job responsibilities are obviously tremendous, but you don\u2019t have to do anything else,\u201d she said. \u201cSomebody cooks for you. If you have free time, you sleep, you watch movies or you work out. You don\u2019t have to pay bills. You don\u2019t have any childcare responsibilities. If you\u2019re married you have no spousal commitments. You have no parties, there is no social life, there\u2019s nothing. And it becomes very monotonous, but at the same time, that\u2019s all there is, so it\u2019s very, very easy.\u201d<\/p>\n

But with that simplicity comes a loss of emotion. <\/p>\n

\u201cLives depend on you to fulfill a job,\u201d she said. \u201cYou have to emotionally disconnect from everything. If you get too bogged down you\u2019re not going to be effective in your job \u2014 and that could end up getting people hurt.\u201d<\/p>\n

According to the Walter Reed Army Institute of Research, this common mindset is known as \u201cbattlemind\u201d \u2014 \u201cthe soldier\u2019s inner strength to face fear and adversity in combat with courage\u201d \u2014 and Snellings is not alone in her struggle to adjust from that mentality back to day-to-day living.<\/p>\n

Sgt. Matthew Ragan was in Iraq for 17 months on two tours, the first at the beginning of the war and the second from May 2004 to February 2005 \u2014 a trip that 33 of his fellow Marines didn\u2019t survive.<\/p>\n

His transition home was rough, he said. Just like Snellings, Ragan suddenly had to remember to pay bills \u2014 and even talk to his family. <\/p>\n

\u201cA lot of the time you want to be alone, you want to reflect, you want to talk to Marines,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

This detachment is all part of battlemind.<\/p>\n

\u201cBecause (troops) have a different environment in Iraq, their mind is always set for what is to come,\u201d said Father Roger Lumbre, Catholic chaplain at Fort Belvoir. Once home, that mindset has to slowly change.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe solution is always open communication with their family,\u201d so that loved ones can better understand and make necessary adjustments, Father Lumbre said. \u201cThe soldiers need help. It\u2019s not their fault.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Continue at the link<\/a> for more. You’ll want to read it all, and then whisper a prayer this Veterans Day for all our veterans, and all those who are still overseas. <\/p>\n

Photo: Iraq war veteran Tracy Snellings looks at a headstone with her daughter Eavan, 6, in Arlington National Cemetery last week. Photo by Gretchen R. Crowe, Catholic Herald.<\/i><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I know a few journalists who have been to Iraq, and they always come home with astounding tales to tell. But nothing can quite compare to the stories of the soldiers on the ground, who spend months at a time on the front lines, and make their living every day facing death. 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