{"id":144,"date":"2009-09-21T18:46:00","date_gmt":"2009-09-21T18:46:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/deaconsbench\/2009\/09\/deacons-must-always-remember-that-their-sacrament-of-marriage-always-will-be-first.html"},"modified":"2009-09-21T18:46:00","modified_gmt":"2009-09-21T18:46:00","slug":"deacons-must-always-remember-that-their-sacrament-of-marriage-always-will-be-first","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/deaconsbench\/2009\/09\/deacons-must-always-remember-that-their-sacrament-of-marriage-always-will-be-first.html","title":{"rendered":"“Deacons must always remember that their sacrament of marriage always will be first…”"},"content":{"rendered":"

Some of you may remember the back-and-forth we had here with the wife of a deacon in the Archdiocese of Los Angeles. Some readers (including Your Humble Blogger) took issue with the archdiocese’s use of the designation “Deacon Couple.”<\/a> <\/p>\n

<\/div>\n
The wife who had written to be originally offered to answer my questions about this. Here are my questions and her answers…<\/p>\n

+ Why does the archdiocese insist on calling the newly ordained deacons “deacon couples.” I note in all the stories in The Tidings about the ordinations, the deacons are never introduced individually. I can’t understand that. Help me out here.<\/i>
Our regional Bishop stated “Deacons must always remember that their sacrament of marriage is and always will be first and foremost before the diaconate. By calling you the Deacon couple we honor this sacrament”
<\/span>
+ In formation, do the wives have to take tests and write papers, too?<\/i>
Wives are required to attend only the first year of formation and various retreats. However all wives are asked to attend the full five years if possible. All the women in our class chose to attend every class throughout the five years of formation. By choosing to attend all classes, we did read all the material, write the papers and take tests. We participated in the practicums and assisted our husbands. We participated in the final oral exam alongside our husbands. It was an incredible experience that I highly recommend to any wife. As a matter of fact I am going to go back and talk to the first year formation wives and encourage their participation during the entire formation.<\/span><\/p>\n

+ What are the archdiocese’s expectations of the wives after ordination?<\/i>
There is no expectation whatsoever<\/span>. <\/p><\/blockquote>\n

+ Do they have to undergo continuing formation with their husbands?<\/i> No.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

+ Do the wives get any spiritual direction?<\/span>
Yes, alongside our husbands during the full five years of formation.<\/span><\/p>\n

+ What if a deacon isn’t married? <\/span>
Our class did not have a single Deacon ordained. However we did have a single man for the first two years (he dropped out due to personal reasons) and he was honored as well in his status as a single man choosing celibacy in the diaconate. Past Tidings articles for ordinations with both married and single men did discuss the single Deacon and the Deacon Couple. <\/span><\/p>\n

One of the things discussed in class was that by asking the wives to attend and participate, we would grow spiritually together \u2014at the same rate and in the same direction. We would have an understanding of what our husbands are going through, learning and will be doing after ordination. One example would be a BBQ we had a month after ordination. We were an hour away from greeting over 100 guests. My husband got a call from our parish stating that a woman was dying at a local hospital and they could not get hold of any of the Priests. The family wanted a Priest or Deacon to come and say prayers with the family (the woman had already been annointed). Had I not been with my husband for five years and really understood what was happening, I would have been livid to have him leave me with the BBQ by myself. But with formation, I understood that he needed to minister to this woman and her family\u2014to be available. I participated in no way with his ministry that day, but I understood, and found great joy in what he was doing.<\/span><\/p>\n

Some of our wives in the formation have expressed interest in continuing their education. One is currently in formation to be a Spiritual Director. A program has recently been established for the men and the women to get credit for the five years of formation by offering us the ability to take a few more classes and we will get a Bachelors Degree in Theology. I personally am interested in this, as well as one other wife. At least half of our women saw our husbands ordained and now do not participate in any way, nor are they expected to. Some of us have grown in faith so much that we want to give back to the community and be involved more.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I think that explains it pretty well. <\/p><\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
Any thoughts?<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Some of you may remember the back-and-forth we had here with the wife of a deacon in the Archdiocese of Los Angeles. Some readers (including Your Humble Blogger) took issue with the archdiocese’s use of the designation “Deacon Couple.” The wife who had written to be originally offered to answer my questions about this. 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