{"id":1073,"date":"2009-02-08T22:26:00","date_gmt":"2009-02-08T22:26:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/deaconsbench\/2009\/02\/big-families-under-attack.html"},"modified":"2009-02-08T22:26:00","modified_gmt":"2009-02-08T22:26:00","slug":"big-families-under-attack","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/deaconsbench\/2009\/02\/big-families-under-attack.html","title":{"rendered":"Big families under attack?"},"content":{"rendered":"

That’s the premise of this intriguing piece<\/a> from the New York Times — and they make a pretty persuasive argument: <\/p>\n

<\/a> The comment from the photographer at Sears was typical. \u201cAre these all yours?\u201d she asked, surveying Kim Gunnip\u2019s 12 children.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo,\u201d Mrs. Gunnip replied, \u201cI picked some up at the food court.\u201d<\/p>\n

But it was harder to find a retort for the man in line at the supermarket, who said within earshot of her youngest children, \u201cYou must have a great sex life.\u201d<\/p>\n

Now her family, like other larger families, as they call themselves, is facing endless news coverage of the octuplets born in California and a new round of scorn, slack jaws and stupid jokes.<\/p>\n

Back when the average woman had more than three children, big families were the Kennedys of Hickory Hill and Hyannis Port, \u201cCheaper by the Dozen,\u201d the Cosbys or \u201cEight is Enough\u201d \u2014 lovable tumbles of offspring as all-American in their scrapes as in their smiles.<\/p>\n

But as families have shrunk, and parents helicopter over broods tinier yet more precious, a vanload of children has taken on more of a freak show factor. The families know the stereotypes: they\u2019re polygamists, religious zealots, reality-show hopefuls or Qu\u00e9b\u00e9cois in it for the per-child government bonus. And isn\u2019t there something a little obsessive about Angelina Jolie\u2019s quest for her own World Cup soccer team?<\/p>\n

\u201cLook at the three shows on TLC that have bigger families,\u201d said Meagan Francis, the 31-year-old author of \u201cTable for Eight,\u201d which stems from her experience raising four children (she is expecting her fifth next month). \u201cOne is about religious fundamentalists, one has sextuplets, the other is a family of little people,\u201d she said, referring to, respectively, the Duggars of \u201c17 Kids and Counting,\u201d \u201cJon and Kate Plus Eight\u201d and \u201cLittle People, Big World,\u201d about two dwarfs raising four children, three of average stature, on a pumpkin farm in Oregon.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou get the feeling,\u201d Ms. Francis added, \u201cthat anybody who has more than three kids is either doing it for bizarre reasons or there\u2019s a medical anomaly.\u201d<\/p>\n

In the last several days, the British government\u2019s environmental adviser declared it \u201cirresponsible\u201d to have more than two children. And Nancy Pelosi, the speaker of the House, asserted that including contraception in the stimulus package could reduce government spending. Ms. Pelosi, herself the mother of five, was arguing against unwanted pregnancies, not families who choose to have big broods. But no matter \u2014 larger families see the attacks piling up.<\/p>\n

On Internet forums and blogs, like lotsofkids.com<\/a> and largerfamilies.com<\/a>, the mothers defend themselves against the accusations that they can\u2019t possibly give each child enough love or that they are hogging the earth\u2019s scarce resources. They resist, and resent, efforts to lump them with the Duggars, the Jon and Kates and the octuplets.<\/p>\n

Many mothers, in fact, shared the revulsion and the ethical questions about the in vitro fertilization that led to the birth of the eight babies by the unwed and unemployed California mother. Yet they also say that the reaction to her turned harsh only when it was revealed that she had six additional children. Octuplets were amazing; 14 is gross.<\/p>\n

Referring to a news show correspondent who seemed \u201cdisgusted\u201d by the story, one mother on lotsofkids.com wrote, \u201cI wanted to bounce her judgmental little head off a wall.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ms. Francis, the founder of largerfamilies.com, said, \u201cI can\u2019t imagine having 14 children, but I do think it\u2019s possible to raise 14 and do a great job.\u201d<\/p>\n

She continued: \u201cPeople feel like they have some say or some ownership over your kids or the way kids are being raised. It\u2019s this symbol of who you are and your values.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

There’s much more at the Times link<\/a>. Check it out.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

That’s the premise of this intriguing piece from the New York Times — and they make a pretty persuasive argument: The comment from the photographer at Sears was typical. \u201cAre these all yours?\u201d she asked, surveying Kim Gunnip\u2019s 12 children. \u201cNo,\u201d Mrs. Gunnip replied, \u201cI picked some up at the food court.\u201d But it was…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":365,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[12,21],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1073","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-ripped-from-the-headlines","category-the-people-in-the-pews"],"yoast_head":"\nBig families under attack? - The Deacon's Bench<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/deaconsbench\/2009\/02\/big-families-under-attack.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Big families under attack? 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