{"id":953,"date":"2008-01-05T01:00:00","date_gmt":"2008-01-05T01:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/contentfeeds\/2008\/01\/joke-of-the-day-for-saturday-j.html"},"modified":"2008-01-05T01:00:00","modified_gmt":"2008-01-05T01:00:00","slug":"joke-of-the-day-for-saturday-j","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/contentfeeds\/2008\/01\/joke-of-the-day-for-saturday-j.html","title":{"rendered":"Joke of the Day for Saturday, January 5, 2007"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>There once was a 94-year-old nun in the 1890&#8217;s whose worn-out body began to surrender. Her doctor prescribed for her a shot of whiskey three times a day, to relax her.<br \/>\nHowever, not to be lured into worldly pleasures, she huffily declined. But her mother superior knew the elderly sister loved milk. So she instructed the kitchen to spike the milk three times a day.Eventually, the elderly pious one approached her final hour. As several sisters gathered around her at bedside, the mother superior asked if she wanted to leave them any words of wisdom.<br \/>\n&#8220;Oh, yes,&#8221; she replied. &#8220;Never sell that cow!&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>There once was a 94-year-old nun in the 1890&#8217;s whose worn-out body began to surrender. Her doctor prescribed for her a shot of whiskey three times a day, to relax her. However, not to be lured into worldly pleasures, she huffily declined. But her mother superior knew the elderly sister loved milk. So she instructed&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":48,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-953","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-joke-of-the-day"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Joke of the Day for Saturday, January 5, 2007 - Content Feeds<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/contentfeeds\/2008\/01\/joke-of-the-day-for-saturday-j.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Joke of the Day for Saturday, January 5, 2007 - Content Feeds\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"There once was a 94-year-old nun in the 1890&#8217;s whose worn-out body began to surrender. Her doctor prescribed for her a shot of whiskey three times a day, to relax her. However, not to be lured into worldly pleasures, she huffily declined. But her mother superior knew the elderly sister loved milk. So she instructed&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/contentfeeds\/2008\/01\/joke-of-the-day-for-saturday-j.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Content Feeds\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2008-01-05T01:00:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"rphillips\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Joke of the Day for Saturday, January 5, 2007 - Content Feeds","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/contentfeeds\/2008\/01\/joke-of-the-day-for-saturday-j.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Joke of the Day for Saturday, January 5, 2007 - Content Feeds","og_description":"There once was a 94-year-old nun in the 1890&#8217;s whose worn-out body began to surrender. 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