{"id":348,"date":"2012-12-13T23:46:41","date_gmt":"2012-12-14T04:46:41","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/commonwordcommonlord\/?p=348"},"modified":"2012-12-13T23:46:41","modified_gmt":"2012-12-14T04:46:41","slug":"my-jihad-loss-and-heartbreak","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/commonwordcommonlord\/my-jihad-loss-and-heartbreak\/","title":{"rendered":"My Jihad: Loss and Heartbreak"},"content":{"rendered":"

In the Name of God, the Compassionate and Infinitely Merciful<\/em><\/p>\n

This was my contribution<\/a> to the My Jihad campaign<\/a>, a national effort spearheaded right here in Chicago, to reclaim the term Jihad from the Muslim and anti-Muslim extremists alike.<\/em><\/p>\n

Loss and Heartbreak <\/strong><\/p>\n

Every day, I get up early in the morning to try to help other people feel better by the Grace of God. Every day, I get up early \u2013 and sometimes come home very late \u2013 to help someone else have a little less pain. Every day, I live a dream come true: being a physician, and it is a blessing beyond measure.<\/p>\n

I work in the field of Pulmonary and Critical Care, and so \u2013 every day \u2013 I take care of people who have been ravaged by the destruction wrought by cigarette smoking. I see people who cannot breathe because their lungs have been destroyed by said cigarette smoke, and I try to help them breathe a little better. In addition, I take care of patients who are critically ill and must stay in the intensive care unit for a time. In many instances, these patients are so sick to be near death.<\/p>\n

And it is my honor to work as hard as I can to bring them out of their life-threatening illness.\u00a0Being a doctor is a tough life, and many times it is a struggle that can be overwhelming. But is a struggle that I am privileged to undertake.\u00a0Most of the time, by the Grace of God, the medical team and I are successful, and our patients can live to see many more years of life.<\/p>\n

Sometimes, however, despite doing everything humanly possible, the medical team and I are not successful, and our patients succumb to their disease. And many times, I unfortunately must give families the bad news and help counsel them through the profound grief at the loss of their loved one. Yet, one time, the tables were turned on\u00a0my wife and me.<\/p>\n

It was on the day our daughter passed away.<\/p>\n

Our eldest daughter was afflicted by a crippling genetic disorder called Ataxia-Telangiectasia, and as a result of this illness, she developed Diffuse Large B-cell lymphoma. After undergoing six cycles of chemotherapy, she developed septic shock: an overwhelming systemic response to infection. And despite a truly heroic effort on the part of her medical team, she lost her battle and passed away on June 7, 2009.<\/p>\n

Ever since that day, my heart has been searing from a pain that is truly indescribable. Ever since that day, my wife and I have tried to pick up the pieces of our shattered hearts and try to move on.\u00a0Indeed, the Lord has not abandoned us in our tragedy. He has given us so much joy in the years since. Nevertheless, the pain of her loss is still so fresh, so acute, that I sometimes cannot breathe from the agony.<\/p>\n

What\u2019s worse, everything at work reminds me of her affliction. Every ICU room looks like the one in which she died. Every time a patient needs to breathe with the help of a special BiPAP machine, it can remind me of when she went through the same thing. When I stand at the bedside of a patient with a similar type of shock, it reminds me of those truly horrific hours when my daughter was clinging to the shards of her fragile life. And I when I try to comfort a husband, or a wife, or a mother, or a daughter, or a son -screaming out in pain at the death of their loved one \u2013 it gives me a terrible pain in my heart as well.<\/p>\n

There is not a day that goes by that I don\u2019t remember my beautiful daughter and remember the terrible torture of having to watch her die in front of my eyes. There is not a day that goes by that my heart doesn\u2019t scream out in horror that I lost my baby forever. Sometimes, I want to literally scream out \u2013 to try to comfort the devastating torment I endure each and every day.<\/p>\n

But I don\u2019t, and that is my Jihad.<\/p>\n

\u201cJihad\u201d is Arabic for \u201cstruggle,\u201d and in Islam, \u201cJihad\u201d is the sacred struggle to bring good in this world. It can mean different things to different people. For me, my Jihad is\u00a0to keep myself together and not shrink away into a world of grief and sadness.<\/p>\n

I do this for the sake of my wife, to try to be there for her and help comfort her even greater agony and terror. I do this for the sake of my surviving children, so they can know a happy life and not one with constant sadness. And I do this for the sake of my critically ill patients, so I can think clearly about the proper treatment plan they need so they can get better.<\/p>\n

But, it is really, really hard.<\/p>\n

And so, each and every day, I reach out to the Lord for His help and His comfort. I reach out to The Lord for His grace and mercy because, without Him, there is no way I could have made it this far. But, even with God\u2019s help, the pain is still there, for losing a child is the worst thing a parent can endure. And it is a Jihad I will have to endure for the rest of my life.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

In the Name of God, the Compassionate and Infinitely Merciful This was my contribution to the My Jihad campaign, a national effort spearheaded right here in Chicago, to reclaim the term Jihad from the Muslim and anti-Muslim extremists alike. Loss and Heartbreak Every day, I get up early in the morning to try to help…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":175,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[65],"tags":[447,450,453,86,454,75,11,446,74,451,445,360,449,452,124,448],"class_list":["post-348","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-american-islam","tag-campagin","tag-child","tag-critical-care","tag-doctor","tag-extremists","tag-grief","tag-islam","tag-jihad","tag-loss","tag-medical","tag-myjihad","tag-pain","tag-parent","tag-pulmonary","tag-religion","tag-struggle"],"yoast_head":"\nMy Jihad: Loss and Heartbreak - Common Word, Common Lord<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, nofollow\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"My Jihad: Loss and Heartbreak - Common Word, Common Lord\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"In the Name of God, the Compassionate and Infinitely Merciful This was my contribution to the My Jihad campaign, a national effort spearheaded right here in Chicago, to reclaim the term Jihad from the Muslim and anti-Muslim extremists alike. Loss and Heartbreak Every day, I get up early in the morning to try to help…\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/commonwordcommonlord\/my-jihad-loss-and-heartbreak\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Common Word, Common Lord\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2012-12-14T04:46:41+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Hesham A. Hassaballa\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@GodFaithPen\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"My Jihad: Loss and Heartbreak - Common Word, Common Lord","robots":{"index":"noindex","follow":"nofollow"},"og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"My Jihad: Loss and Heartbreak - Common Word, Common Lord","og_description":"In the Name of God, the Compassionate and Infinitely Merciful This was my contribution to the My Jihad campaign, a national effort spearheaded right here in Chicago, to reclaim the term Jihad from the Muslim and anti-Muslim extremists alike. Loss and Heartbreak Every day, I get up early in the morning to try to help…","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/commonwordcommonlord\/my-jihad-loss-and-heartbreak\/","og_site_name":"Common Word, Common Lord","article_published_time":"2012-12-14T04:46:41+00:00","author":"Hesham A. Hassaballa","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_creator":"@GodFaithPen","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/commonwordcommonlord\/my-jihad-loss-and-heartbreak\/","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/commonwordcommonlord\/my-jihad-loss-and-heartbreak\/","name":"My Jihad: Loss and Heartbreak - Common Word, Common Lord","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/commonwordcommonlord\/#website"},"datePublished":"2012-12-14T04:46:41+00:00","dateModified":"2012-12-14T04:46:41+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/commonwordcommonlord\/#\/schema\/person\/c2d50a46198edad19abb055001c4cd21"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/commonwordcommonlord\/my-jihad-loss-and-heartbreak\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/commonwordcommonlord\/my-jihad-loss-and-heartbreak\/"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/commonwordcommonlord\/my-jihad-loss-and-heartbreak\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/commonwordcommonlord\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"My Jihad: Loss and Heartbreak"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/commonwordcommonlord\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/commonwordcommonlord\/","name":"Common Word, Common Lord","description":"Beliefnet Voices - Hesham Hassaballa","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/commonwordcommonlord\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/commonwordcommonlord\/#\/schema\/person\/c2d50a46198edad19abb055001c4cd21","name":"Hesham A. Hassaballa","description":"Hesham A. Hassaballa is a Chicago doctor and writer. He has written extensively on a freelance basis, being published in newspapers across the country and around the world. He has been a Beliefnet columnist since 2001, and has written for the Religion News Service. He is also a columnist for Patheos. His articles have been distributed worldwide by Agence Global, and he was also a guest blogger for The Chicago Tribune and has blogged on ChicagoNow\" . In addition, Dr. Hassaballa has appeared as a guest on WTTW (Channel 11) in Chicago, CNN, Fox News, BBC, and National Public Radio. Dr. Hassaballa is co-author of The Beliefnet Guide to Islam (Doubleday), and his essay, \u201cWhy I Love the Ten Commandments,\u201d was published in the award-winning book Taking Back Islam (Rodale). His latest book, Noble Brother, is the story of the Prophet Muhammad told entirely in poetry, and it is now published in its second edition. In 2007, his blog \"God, Faith, and a Pen\" was nominated for a Brass Crescent Award for a blog that is \u201cthe most stimulating, insightful, and philosophical, providing the best rebuttals to extremist ideology and making an impact whenever they post.\u201d \"God, Faith, and a Pen\" has also received an award for being one of the \"Top Muslim Blogs for 2010\" by Awarding The Web. In addition to writing, Dr. Hassaballa helped found the Chicago Chapter of the Council on American Islamic Relations and currently serves on their board of directors. He also co-founded the Bayan H. Hassaballa Charitable Foundation and now serves as its Treasurer.","sameAs":["https:\/\/x.com\/GodFaithPen"],"url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/commonwordcommonlord\/author\/hhassaballa\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/commonwordcommonlord\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/348","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/commonwordcommonlord\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/commonwordcommonlord\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/commonwordcommonlord\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/175"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/commonwordcommonlord\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=348"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/commonwordcommonlord\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/348\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":349,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/commonwordcommonlord\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/348\/revisions\/349"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/commonwordcommonlord\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=348"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/commonwordcommonlord\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=348"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/commonwordcommonlord\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=348"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}