{"id":1572,"date":"2015-04-15T12:07:53","date_gmt":"2015-04-15T19:07:53","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/commonsensechristianity\/?p=1572"},"modified":"2015-04-15T12:07:53","modified_gmt":"2015-04-15T19:07:53","slug":"abusive-christianity","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/commonsensechristianity\/2015\/04\/abusive-christianity.html","title":{"rendered":"Abusive Christianity"},"content":{"rendered":"

“Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”<\/em>\u00a0(Romans 8:1)<\/p>\n

Any time we are in an abusive or controlling relationship, it takes\u00a0effort\u00a0to\u00a0emerge from\u00a0it, our independence and self-worth repaired and brought back to health and normalcy.\u00a0Information\u00a0that we have accepted as fact or truth, which\u00a0has\u00a0been gently twisted to mean other than\u00a0it does,\u00a0has\u00a0to be re-evaluated.<\/p>\n

\"Not<\/a>
Not all creatures with wings are angels. \u00a0Not all that we are taught about God is true. Vintage 1930s Paris Postcard Image.<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

And often, the best way to see things clearly is to get away from the person, group, or organization that is exerting control over our lives.<\/p>\n

In our case, it was the modern, corporate-influenced church establishment that had undue influence\u00a0over\u00a0how we saw God, our perfect and loving Father, and Christ, our gracious and compassionate Eldest Brother. So confused are some people about this love and acceptance that they simply cannot understand the verse at the head of this essay.<\/p>\n

We were guests at a Bible Study once in which the participants agonized over the\u00a0import\u00a0of the\u00a0verse:<\/p>\n

“What does it\u00a0mean<\/em>?” they asked each other. “Because we know, of course, that God can’t simply look past our sins and faults and accept us as is.”<\/p>\n

One thing we’ve noticed in interacting with people in abusive, dysfunctional relationships, is that the victim is always at blame for what happens to him or her: it is because of the way she acts, or something he says, or even a look on their face that the attack from their abuser comes.\u00a0The abuser, quite cleverly, is always innocent,\u00a0asserting that\u00a0he or she was “provoked” by the victim. And while God is not an abuser, we humans easily create an interpretation of Him to\u00a0fit the profile.<\/p>\n

An Angry Father<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

I am reminded of the teaching I received in the evangelical system that Christ\u00a0stands\u00a0as a mediator between me and God, protecting me from my Father’s\u00a0violent, raging, and vehement\u00a0wrath. I was safe, I was told,\u00a0because\u00a0Jesus (who had His own issues with me)\u00a0was standing\u00a0between my Father and me.<\/p>\n

“But what if I want to stand\u00a0beside<\/em>\u00a0Jesus?” I thought. “God will see me then, and will be so disgusted by me that He’ll attack.”<\/p>\n

It’s a\u00a0valid\u00a0concern drawn from the teaching:\u00a0because\u00a0we are wretched, awful, horrible, creepy, nasty sinners, it is only Christ’s presence that enables our Father to be in the same room with us. So why would we want to be around Dad?<\/p>\n

But this is not our Father of the Bible, nor\u00a0the\u00a0Father\u00a0that\u00a0our Eldest Brother, Jesus, taught us to seek:<\/p>\n

East from West<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

“For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him,”<\/em>\u00a0Psalm 103:11 rejoices. Unfortunately,\u00a0the abused Christian will stop,\u00a0frozen, at the word “fear,” and stay there.\u00a0However,\u00a0the words go on (they all do — the Bible is meant to be read as a whole, with the concept of God’s merciful love and grace prominent at the forefront of our minds):<\/p>\n

\"Eyrie<\/a>
If East went on forever in front of me, it would never run into the West that runs forever behind me. Let us rejoice in the warmth of the Son. Eyrie, original oil painting by Steve Henderson; licensed prints at AllPosters, Art. com, Amazon, Framed Canvas Art, iCanvas, and Great Big Canvas<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

“As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.”<\/em>\u00a0<\/em>That’s an encouraging thought. \u00a0However, when we dwell on it, eyes closed and a smile on our face, we’re sure to be poked in the ribs and reminded:<\/p>\n

“Don’t forget your sins! Don’t think that you can just rest in your sinfulness and expect God to love you!”<\/p>\n

which makes me wonder if the apostle John was confused when he wrote 1 John 4:19:<\/p>\n

“We love because he first loved us.”<\/em><\/p>\n

Jesus tells us John 14:9,<\/p>\n

“Anyone who has seen me has seen the Father.”<\/em>\u00a0It\u00a0doesn’t take much reading of the Synoptic Gospels to realize that the few times Jesus exhibits powerful anger, He is dealing with people\u00a0who are focused on\u00a0making\u00a0money, or\u00a0securing\u00a0power, on the basis of His Father’s name.<\/p>\n

Many, many others, who “deserved” worst, didn’t get it: read through Luke’s crucifixion account in 23:26-43 and see how Christ reacted to those who sneered at Him for not saving Himself, to the soldiers mocking Him during His agony, to the criminal beside Him who hurled insults.<\/p>\n

And to the other criminal, who also “deserved what he got,” and who spoke up for the Brother he didn’t know He had.<\/p>\n

“Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing,”<\/em>\u00a0was Christ’s pronouncement\u00a0upon\u00a0the mockers.<\/p>\n

“Today you will be with me in paradise,”<\/em>\u00a0was his response to the man dying at His side.<\/p>\n

A Kind Brother, A Good Father<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

Surely, if Christ — who by His own words is in the Father, and the Father in Him — showed compassion and grace to those who vilified Him, why are we so convinced that He, and Our Father, are out to get us for every bad thought, every selfish action, every sinful desire that we give into?<\/p>\n

Is this the way a wise parent guides and instructs his children?<\/p>\n

Obviously no, although maybe not so obvious, because one tendency of evangelical Christendom is to encourage instant, almost military-style obedience from one’s children, the lack of which theoretically shows up the parents’\u00a0inability to fulfill 1 Timothy 3:4 —\u00a0“He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him with proper respect.”<\/em><\/p>\n

(There’s nothing in the passage about snapping out orders, but there is mention of temperance, self-control, hospitality, and gentleness, attributes which, one thinks, should be extended to one’s children as well as to those outside the family circle.)<\/p>\n

We are far too ready to embrace condemnation as an inevitable, necessary part of our relationship with God, but before we wholeheartedly accept that this is the way things must be, maybe we should ask our Father:<\/p>\n

Do you condemn me?<\/p>\n

The answer is in Roman 8:1.<\/p>\n

Thank You<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Thank you for joining me at Commonsense Christianity. Years ago, when I first started seeking God’s love and acceptance and mentioned to others that the God I had been taught was a condemning one, I was condemned by another Christian for, guess what? Not trusting God enough.<\/p>\n

Posts complementing this one are<\/p>\n

Does God Care If We are “Excellent”?<\/a><\/p>\n

Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places<\/a><\/p>\n

Child of God: You Are Much Beloved<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

“Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”\u00a0(Romans 8:1) Any time we are in an abusive or controlling relationship, it takes\u00a0effort\u00a0to\u00a0emerge from\u00a0it, our independence and self-worth repaired and brought back to health and normalcy.\u00a0Information\u00a0that we have accepted as fact or truth, which\u00a0has\u00a0been gently twisted to mean other than\u00a0it does,\u00a0has\u00a0to be…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":561,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[14,88,5,1026,13,2,10,11,58,3,15,9,12,7,8,6],"tags":[1513,103,72,305,131,1292,284,1514,737,983,378,497,26,22,62,203,1454,424,70,170,1291],"class_list":["post-1572","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-art","category-bible","category-christianity","category-church-2","category-encouragement","category-faith","category-family","category-home","category-hope-2","category-inspiration","category-lifestyle","category-love","category-parenting","category-personal-growth","category-spiritual-growth","category-spirituality","tag-abusive","tag-christianity-2","tag-church","tag-commonsense","tag-compassion","tag-condemnation","tag-control","tag-crucifixion","tag-discipline","tag-establishment","tag-evangelical","tag-father","tag-god","tag-grace","tag-jesus","tag-love-2","tag-military","tag-obedience","tag-parent","tag-relationship","tag-romans-81"],"yoast_head":"\nAbusive Christianity - 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