{"id":40,"date":"2010-08-11T04:12:58","date_gmt":"2010-08-11T04:12:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/catholicsmediaandculture\/2010\/08\/an-exclusive-interview-with-twitter-sensation-martin-luther-aka-doctor-luther.html"},"modified":"2010-08-11T04:12:58","modified_gmt":"2010-08-11T04:12:58","slug":"an-exclusive-interview-with-twitter-sensation-martin-luther-aka-doctor-luther","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/catholicsmediaandculture\/2010\/08\/an-exclusive-interview-with-twitter-sensation-martin-luther-aka-doctor-luther.html","title":{"rendered":"An exclusive interview with Twitter sensation Martin Luther (aka Doktor Luther)"},"content":{"rendered":"

His followers were disappointed when the great reformer (or, in Catholic parlance, heretic) Martin Luther discontinued his popular blog Luther at the Movies<\/i><\/a>. <\/p>\n

But there is now rejoicing among his flock as Luther is back with a new self-titled Twitter feed found at http:\/\/twitter.com\/doktorluther<\/a> .<\/p>\n

Now, in the greatest exclusive interview in the history of journalism (or at least this blog), is my exclusive interview with Doctor Luther who sat down with me (a Catholic!) exclusively.  BTW, did I mention the EXCLUSIVITY of this exclusive?!<\/p>\n

First of all
\nwelcome back to Cyberspace. You’re Luther
\nat the Movies<\/i> blog drew quite a loyal following. What drew you to come back
\nto life and commenting on our culture – and why did you suddenly stop
\ncommenting?<\/b><\/p>\n

LUTHER:<\/b> I<\/i> was told I would be
\ncompensated for this interview. I must be assured that all monies will be
\nissued in thalers, as your American dollars aren’t worth the rags they’re
\nprinted on ever since that jackanapes Nixon took you off the gold standard.
\nNow, as for my blogging career: I was forced to stop due to the machinations of
\nmy nefarious nincompeep of an assistant, whose name shall not be uttered, and
\nhave only now been able to resume commenting owing to no longer being dependent
\nupon either his assistance or his technology.<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

What led you to
\nstart commenting again via a Twitter account – and what do you make of the
\nwhole Twitter phenomenon?<\/b><\/p>\n

LUTHER:<\/b> <\/i>It’s idiot-proof and
\ncan be accessed through my Blueberry.<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

I think you
\nmean Blackberry.<\/b><\/p>\n

LUTHER:<\/b> Do I look like I
\ncare? IT’S FRUIT. As for the “phenomenon,” well, what can I say. It’s
\nphenomenal. You walked right into that… It’s also the perfect form of amusement
\nfor with the attention span roughly that of a goldfish that has been dead for
\nthree days.<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Aside from
\nTwitter, what do you see as the major forces at work in our culture today?<\/b><\/p>\n

LUTHER:<\/b> Fried foods,
\nasthma-relief medicines, pornography, SPAM, and wacky-looking shoes.<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

The CBS show <\/b>#*! My Dad Says<\/i><\/em><\/span><\/i> <\/span>is based on a
\nTwitter feed. Is there a TV show in your future?<\/b><\/p>\n

LUTHER: <\/b>The American public
\nis not ready for me. I am a force of nature. I would send 32% of the viewing
\npublic into therapy and the rest back into therapy. The threat of hellfire
\nwould follow them in their dreams. They would become paralyzed with guilt,
\nfear, and terror, with the wrath of Gott as real to them as the skin on their
\nface. And then there would be ice cream.<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

What does
\nLuther like on TV? Looking forward to any of the new fall shows?<\/b><\/p>\n

LUTHER:<\/b> Ed Sullivan is a
\nkick. Sid Caesar is very funny. “Make Room for Daddy” is a scream. I do not own
\na moving-picture box, so I can only watch what happens to be playing at the
\nMuseum of Radio and Television.<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

What’s the best
\nmovie out there right now? All-time favorite?<\/b><\/p>\n

LUTHER:<\/b> In theaters at the
\npresent time, there’s a lovely little Swabian film called “A Bidet for Danny.”
\nHeart-wrenching tale of a 12-year-old orphan boy who enters into a life of
\ncrime so he can acquire the materials necessary to build a first-floor bathroom
\nfor an elderly midget. All-time favorite: “Krakatoa, East of Java.” Second
\nall-time favorite: “Sammy Wong: High School Ninja”–in TOHOSCOPE!<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

What does
\nLuther recommend reading? <\/b><\/p>\n

LUTHER:<\/b> Luther. Idiot…<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

What’s on your
\niPod?<\/b><\/p>\n

LUTHER:<\/b> Pudding. Wait, I’ll
\nwipe it off…<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

No, no — what
\nsongs —<\/b><\/p>\n

LUTHER:<\/b> Oh, yes, let me
\nthink. Actually, if you go to my former blog, Lutheratthemovies.blogspot.com<\/a>,
\nyou will see “My Funkytown Playlist” and can listen for yourself. I CAN’T DO
\nEVERYTHING, STUPID INTERVIEWER PERSON.<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Politics? Is
\nLuther a Democrat, a Republican, or an Independent?<\/b><\/p>\n

LUTHER:<\/b> I am a monarchist.
\nYour current system of government was invented by lunatics, freaks, and
\ncertified public accountants. If I could be king for five minutes I would have
\n78% of the population locked up and the other 22% put to work building more
\njails. The only persons allowed to roam free would be me and this guy Phil.<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

I see Kelsey
\nGrammer is following you on Twitter. Are you a fan of his?<\/b><\/p>\n

LUTHER:<\/b> Love the Gramster.<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

You say you’re
\nlooking forward to Sylvester Stallone in The
\nExpendables VI. <\/i>How would you end the series? <\/b><\/p>\n

LUTHER:<\/b> With Sly issuing a
\nwritten apology for “Rocky V.”<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

What kind of
\ntree would you like to be?<\/b><\/p>\n

LUTHER:<\/b> What kind of human
\nwould you be if you weren’t a pickle?<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Do you ever see
\na time when all the churches will come together as one?<\/b><\/p>\n

LUTHER:<\/b> No.<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Do you think
\nthat it’s at least a laudable goal? I mean, a lot of people have blamed you for
\nbreaking apart Christendom–<\/b><\/p>\n

LUTHER:<\/b> NOT THIS AGAIN! If
\nmemory serves me correctly, “Christendom” was already fractured–east and west.
\nThat, in 1054–a little before my time. I merely sought to restore the true
\nmeaning of the Gospel to a church in thrall to works righteousness! Is it my
\nfault if all hell broke loose? I believe something very similar happened at
\nCorinth after the Gospel was preached there.<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

What’s in
\nLuther’s future?<\/b><\/p>\n

LUTHER:<\/b> First, I intend on
\nfiring my agent for forcing me to sit through this insipid conversation. And
\nthen I will sit down and finish my new book, “A Heretic’s Handbook.” It is very
\nironical. <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Have you tried
\nmeeting with the current pope? I’d imagine you’d both have a lot to say to each
\nother. And you’re both German.<\/b><\/p>\n

LUTHER:<\/b> Really? I didn’t know
\nthat. Gee, your research department is just cracker-jack. <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Must you always
\nbe so sarcastic?<\/b><\/p>\n

LUTHER:<\/b> Yes. Next question. <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Would you meet
\nwith the Pope?<\/b><\/p>\n

LUTHER:<\/b> Never.<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Really? I’m
\nsurprised to hear you say that.<\/b><\/p>\n

LUTHER:<\/b> I’m surprised Keith
\nRichards isn’t dead. I’m surprised Denise Richards ever had a career. I’m
\nsurprised you can count to 10. What can I say? It’s a mad, mad, mad, mad world.<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Wouldn’t you at
\nleast want to discuss the events of 1517–not to mention your excommunication?<\/b><\/p>\n

LUTHER: <\/b>Water under the
\nbridge. And until I read somewhere that the pope also is lying under a bridge,
\nI have nothing to say about such matters.<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

That’s not very
\nChristian.<\/b><\/p>\n

LUTHER: <\/b>Neither is being
\npope.<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

I think we’d
\nbetter leave it there.<\/b><\/p>\n

LUTHER:<\/b> Leave it wherever you
\nwant. All I know is I’m not picking it up.<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Martin Luther,
\nthank you for your time.<\/b><\/p>\n

LUTHER:<\/b> Ah, bite me.<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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Kennedy","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/catholicsmediaandculture\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/catholicsmediaandculture\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/d80\/d801bc09698c0995d9ae402b4b55ab61x96.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/catholicsmediaandculture\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/d80\/d801bc09698c0995d9ae402b4b55ab61x96.jpg","caption":"John W. Kennedy"},"description":"John W. Kennedy is the founder and Dir. of Development of The Creative Universe Entertainment\u2122, a media consultation and development company focusing on the creation, development and support of high-quality mainstream entertainment that upholds positive timeless values, including trust in God. Current projects include \"Bryant Park\" (an uplifting romantic-comedy) and \"Photo Finish\" (an award-winning sci-fi TV pilot). 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