{"id":963,"date":"2011-07-06T21:18:09","date_gmt":"2011-07-07T01:18:09","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/blissblog\/?p=963"},"modified":"2011-07-06T22:15:04","modified_gmt":"2011-07-07T02:15:04","slug":"the-face-of-god","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/blissblog\/2011\/07\/the-face-of-god.html","title":{"rendered":"The Face of God"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"\"
Got your back<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I have known my friend Janet Berkowitz since the early 1980’s when she laughed and hugged her way into my life via our mutual friend Alan Cohen. Back then, she held a secret that I didn’t know about until many years later. This artist, poet, mime…altogether creative soul had been experiencing the darkest depths of depression and carried on her shoulders a symbolic knapsack filled with boulders with the label suicide<\/em><\/strong> stamped on them. Over the years, she has been hospitalized several times, has been on psychotropic medications and has come close to ending her own life.\u00a0 Those of us who know and love Janet, have ‘circled the wagons’ each time she has entered the swamp of despair and she has pulled through. I am inspired by her resilient spirit and her declarative statement SUICIDE DENIED!\u00a0\u00a0 I offer that as an affirmation to the patients I serve in my role as a psychiatric social worker. She and her husband are family of choice for me and for my son and I am eternally grateful that they are still here, since\u00a0Phil has faced his fears as well. Please read her story and poem below and if you feel so inspired, please contact Janet and\u00a0also pass this message on to people you know who may be contemplating suicide, and to their families and friends. Her message is that healing is possible.\u00a0 This photo of the two of us was taken at a friend’s party this past 4th of July weekend and it is a brilliant testament to the ‘got your back’ concept. There have been many times when she was a solid support for me in the midst of crises, even as she has had her moments of feeling helpless and like she had nothing to offer.\u00a0 I don’t remember the song we were dancing to, but I do remember feeling lighthearted.<\/p>\n

This is Janet’s story called THE POWER OF PRAYER<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

The power of prayer! They call it that for a reason. It works\u2026like a wonderful and mysterious charm. It certainly did for me. <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

From 2007 to early 2011, I had been dangerously depressed on and off, mostly on. All day and night long I would hear the endless, racing droning of the word \u2018suicide\u2019 in my head. This had occurred quite a number of times before, starting at age 8, when I was brutally teased. But it hadn\u2019t ever lasted for more than a year. I never really wanted to actually do it. I had come to love life as an adult. I just wanted to stop the pain. Besides, I was terrified of what lay on the \u201cother side\u201d of death. Since 1984, when I found <\/span><\/span>A Course in Miracles<\/em><\/span><\/span>, which teaches that only love is real, I came to believe that death isn\u2019t real. I feared being only a sickened mind floating around, possibly facing reincarnation as a fly.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

This last bout of depression was the worst. I came closer to attempting suicide than ever before. When therapists asked why, there was no obvious answer. They chalked it up to Bipolar Disorder, OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) and Borderline Personality Disorder. They dug into my past and my relationship with my parents. They tweaked my medications repeatedly (since 1980 I\u2019ve been on about 75% of the psyche drugs available). I voluntarily hospitalized myself many times (three times in a fourteen month period in 2008-09) and received 25 shock treatments over a six month period (2008-09). This didn\u2019t help much, or did help only temporarily. I had tried multiple forms of natural and spiritual healing like acupuncture, reiki, and affirmations. I turned to fortune tellers, astrologers, and modalities whose names I can\u2019t even recall. I had done the daily lessons in <\/span><\/span>A Course in Miracles<\/em><\/span><\/span> at least twice and even lived in community dedicated to its teachings. It\u2019s not easy being suicidal when you view the body as an illusion (a primary message of \u2018the Course\u2019). <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I was living in such constant terror that my doctor wanted to commit me to a state hospital. I feared spending the rest of my life in straight jacket, locked in a padded cell. I lied to get out of that situation. I never felt so alone, even with many loving people around me. <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Then, in 2010, I started hearing another voice in my head that kept saying, \u201cDon\u2019t be a victim. Do something to address the issue of suicide. Use your talents to heal the problem\u201d. I am an artist, mime and drama teacher and I knew that I could bring all of that to the mental health field, which desperately needs some lighteninging up. I called all over the country, but could not find anything for those who were suicidal, only groups for those who lost someone to suicide. I tried starting my own group online, but to no avail.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Finally, I discovered Suicide Anonymous, founded by a psychiatrist, who\u2019d attempted suicide 7 times, before he began to pray to a Higher Power (the term for God used in Alcoholics Anonymous). As he applied the 12 Steps of A.A. (Alcoholics Anonymous) to his life, he healed. I was very familiar with the 12 Steps myself, having gotten clean and sober in 1987 with the help of A.A. and other 12 Step groups.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0So I started a Suicide Anonymous meeting in Philadelphia. Then I started one in Westampton, New Jersey with my husband, who\u2019d made a suicide attempt once himself. Now, we are about to start another Suicide Anonymous meeting in Westmont, NJ. This has been such a safe haven in which to share my deepest darkest thoughts and feelings. He and I also created a workshop called, <\/span><\/span>Creative Crisis Care: Taking Suicide Out of The Closet<\/em><\/span><\/span>, which uses the arts and interactive exercises to approach the topic.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

All of this was helping my mental health but I kept falling back into periods of extreme fear. Then one night I rolled out of bed and called out to God, \u201cPlease help me\u201d. The next morning I felt the slightest bit better. I kept experimenting with this practice of prayer, which was relatively new in my life. One morning I awoke feeling so happy to be alive. For several months now, I\u2019ve been really working on the first three steps of the 12 Steps, which are about establishing a constant contact with <\/span><\/span>my<\/span><\/span><\/span> understanding of a Higher Power.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

There are infinite ways to reach a Higher Power and infinite concepts of what a Higher Power is. Sometimes for fun, I imagine myself sitting in an old diner, talking to this imaginary chef. He\u2019s this big guy with a scraggly beard, whom I named GUS (God in Us)<\/em><\/strong> and he gives me spiritual advice.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

For now a simple daily diet of prayer is what keeps me afloat. I recently recalled a visit to a mental hospital in 1987 for suicidal depression. I awoke every morning at 3:20 am on the dot, but was not allowed to leave the room or turn on the lights. The only thing I could think of doing was to get on my knees and pray. I\u2019d ask God to heal me so I could help others with similar issues. Here I am, 25 years later, answering my own prayers. Now that\u2019s the power of prayer!<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

If you\u2019re interested in more information about Suicide Anonymous or her workshops and performances (she does mime pieces about mental health issues among other relevant topics, some of which appear on her Facebook page) call 856-266-0709. To find out more about Janet\u2019s work, please visit her website at:<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

http:\/\/www.creativecommunicationbuilders.com<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a> and her Facebook page at: <\/span><\/span>http:\/\/www.facebook.com\/#!\/pages\/Creative-Communication-Builders\/190663990966459<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a><\/p>\n

\u00a0This is a poem that Janet wrote to express ‘the God of her understanding’ :<\/p>\n

Face of God<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

By Janet Berkowitz<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

You are the face of God and you don\u2019t even know it,<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Or maybe you do but choose not to show it.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0You are as holy as the sun is bright. <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

You give the world your magnificent light.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0Even if it\u2019s under a bushel,<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

It still shines \u2018cause it\u2019s so crucial.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0And your part in this incredible whole,<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Is just as needed to heal the world\u2019s soul.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0If you could just get it that one plus one is one,<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I guarantee you\u2019d have more fun.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0Be like the ocean, ever moving.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Keep your heart big and grooving.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0Know that I am always here,<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Ready to soak up every joy and tear.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0Leap to the sky with all your might.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Feel my love holding you ever so tight.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0Love, God<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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This artist, poet, mime…altogether creative soul had been experiencing the darkest…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":233,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[40,8,70,33,27,41,19,94,49,50,3,22,4,54,51,42,7,52,10,38,18,29,37],"tags":[519,365,516,4869,515,4871,517,518],"class_list":["post-963","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-affirmations","category-communication","category-community","category-creativity","category-dance","category-death","category-empowerment","category-family","category-friendship","category-god","category-gratitude","category-healing","category-inspiration","category-interfaith","category-mental-health","category-miracles","category-re-creating-your-life","category-recovery","category-spirituality","category-transformation","category-wellness","category-women","category-writing","tag-12-step","tag-a-course-in-miracles","tag-alan-cohen","tag-god","tag-janet-berkowitz","tag-recovery","tag-suicide","tag-suicide-anonymous"],"yoast_head":"\nThe Face of God - The Bliss Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/blissblog\/2011\/07\/the-face-of-god.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The Face of God - The Bliss Blog\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0   I have known my friend Janet Berkowitz since the early 1980’s when she laughed and hugged her way into my life via our mutual friend Alan Cohen. 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