{"id":8277,"date":"2016-02-26T07:17:28","date_gmt":"2016-02-26T12:17:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/blissblog\/?p=8277"},"modified":"2016-02-26T07:17:28","modified_gmt":"2016-02-26T12:17:28","slug":"because-they-are-them","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/blissblog\/2016\/02\/because-they-are-them.html","title":{"rendered":"Because They Are Them"},"content":{"rendered":"

“We have to learn to love people even if they are not giving you what you want\u2026 and then not take it personally. If you feel hurt, you have to recognize that they are not hurting you because you are you, but because they are them.”<\/em> – Krishna Das<\/p>\n

This quote has been making the rounds lately. When I saw it, a knowing nod and tears of recognition sprang up in my eyes. Being a relationally oriented person and a peacemaking Libra to boot, I am challenged at times to accept that people in my life don’t always think and feel the way I do. \u00a0Although we may be mirrors for each other, we are not mirror images OF each other. With that sometimes comes disappointment when expectations go unmet. I am just delusional enough to believe that those with whom I am close are going to see the world through the same lenses and sometimes they just don’t. The temptation is to judge or make them wrong for it. My tendency is also to attempt to change their minds with logic and if that doesn’t work, then with charm. There is a fine line on which I dance. I don’t believe in closing anyone out of my heart, or ceasing loving them. Love is not a faucet that I turn on and off at my whim. There have been times in my life during which I have needed to step back and evaluate the relationship and determine how much I am investing in it looking and feeling a certain way and then deciding how much I am able to keep pouring into it.<\/p>\n

One of the most painful and simultaneously important lessons I have learned is that I need to\u00a0release expectation. This thought process brings me to The Work of Byron Katie<\/a> that teaches to ‘love what is.’ She has said, “When I believed my thoughts, I suffered. When I didn’t believe my thoughts, I didn’t suffer.” If I am stuck in the mindset\u00a0that someone is supposed to hold certain beliefs that they don’t, then perhaps we both suffer unnecessarily. As much as I am intuitive, I can’t always know what motivates the feelings and thoughts of others in my life.<\/p>\n

In conversation with a friend recently, he shared that he too has had to determine the price he has paid to remain invested in \u00a0certain relationships. Although it has been sad for him as well, he has needed to walk away so as not to devalue himself in friendship with these people. \u00a0He quoted\u00a0Maya Angelou<\/a>, echoed by Oprah, “When people show you who they are, believe them.” It doesn’t have to be extreme. They need not be considered villains if they don’t follow through as we would have them do. They are simply following their own path that may diverge from our own. Wishing them love.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

“We have to learn to love people even if they are not giving you what you want\u2026 and then not take it personally. If you feel hurt, you have to recognize that they are not hurting you because you are you, but because they are them.” – Krishna Das This quote has been making the…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":233,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1,2,12,1803,3532,19,49,4,52,17],"tags":[4897,4851,2969,171,4843,1591],"class_list":["post-8277","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-attracting-what-you-desire","category-bliss","category-bliss-kiss-for-your-weekend","category-co-dependence","category-edie-weinstein","category-empowerment","category-friendship","category-inspiration","category-recovery","category-relationships","tag-edie-weinstein","tag-love","tag-maya-angelou","tag-oprah","tag-relationships","tag-the-work-of-byron-katie"],"yoast_head":"\nBecause They Are Them - The Bliss Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/blissblog\/2016\/02\/because-they-are-them.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Because They Are Them - The Bliss Blog\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"“We have to learn to love people even if they are not giving you what you want\u2026 and then not take it personally. 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She has also contributed to several anthologies and personal growth books. Edie has interviewed such notables as Ram Dass, Wayne Dyer, Debbie Ford, don Miguel Ruiz, don Miguel Ruiz, Jr. Marianne Williamson, Grover Washington, Jr. Noah Levine, Shirley MacLaine, Dennis Weaver, Ben and Jerry and His Holiness the Dalai Lama. She calls herself an Opti-mystic who sees the world through the eyes of possibility. 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