{"id":8102,"date":"2015-11-12T17:01:47","date_gmt":"2015-11-12T22:01:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/blissblog\/?p=8102"},"modified":"2015-11-12T17:01:47","modified_gmt":"2015-11-12T22:01:47","slug":"earning-brownie-points","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/blissblog\/2015\/11\/earning-brownie-points.html","title":{"rendered":"Earning Brownie Points"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I have been a consummate caretaker, giver, goodie two shoes, apple polisher for as long as I can recall. Even as\u00a0a little kid, I did\u00a0things for others so I would be seen in a certain light. Wanting to be &#8216;loved best of all,&#8217; I thought I could increase the odds\u00a0that way. I was the first of two children. I don&#8217;t recall feeling jealous when my 2 1\/2 year younger sister was born. My role, I was told, was to help with her care and teach her stuff. I never consciously felt I was being replaced or that my\u00a0role in the family was being usurped.<\/p>\n<p>When I turned four, my beloved grandmother died and shortly after, I was diagnosed with asthma. According to <a href=\"http:\/\/www.louisehay.com\" target=\"_blank\">Louise Hay<\/a>, issues around lungs have to do with repressed grief. I have no conscious recollection of mourning the death of the woman who felt like a third parent, who lavished me with love. One day, she was present and the next day she was gone. How does a child wrap her mind around that, even as I&#8217;m sure my parents did their best to both explain and comfort?<\/p>\n<p>As a result, my little girl&#8217;s mind somehow figured out that if I kept everyone happy, then they might not leave. I don&#8217;t think I quite grasped the concept of death. This paradigm continued throughout my adulthood and has been fodder for recent conversation with friends. I have begun to shake off the fear of simply being as opposed to doing in order to earn brownie points with those in my life, so I could potentially cash in on them later. Feeling manipulative, wouldn&#8217;t it just be better to make my needs and desires known so that I wouldn&#8217;t feel as if I was &#8216;giving to get&#8217;?<\/p>\n<p>The question arises:\u00a0 Aren&#8217;t all relationships utilitarian since they serve a multitude of purposes that include love and companionship and the exchange that occurs between people? I grok that the more honest and straightforward we are about asking for what we want and offering whatever we do from a place of truly desiring to be of service, than the brownie points could turn into sweet treats.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I have been a consummate caretaker, giver, goodie two shoes, apple polisher for as long as I can recall. Even as\u00a0a little kid, I did\u00a0things for others so I would be seen in a certain light. Wanting to be &#8216;loved best of all,&#8217; I thought I could increase the odds\u00a0that way. I was the first&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":233,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1,13,41,3532,19,94,3,22,14,16,17,38],"tags":[2136,4875,244,4846,387,4843],"class_list":["post-8102","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-attracting-what-you-desire","category-blissfull-thinking","category-death","category-edie-weinstein","category-empowerment","category-family","category-gratitude","category-healing","category-how-to-invite-bliss","category-my-personal-bliss","category-relationships","category-transformation","tag-asthma","tag-family","tag-grief","tag-healing","tag-louise-hay","tag-relationships"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Earning Brownie Points - The Bliss Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/blissblog\/2015\/11\/earning-brownie-points.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Earning Brownie Points - The Bliss Blog\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I have been a consummate caretaker, giver, goodie two shoes, apple polisher for as long as I can recall. Even as\u00a0a little kid, I did\u00a0things for others so I would be seen in a certain light. Wanting to be &#8216;loved best of all,&#8217; I thought I could increase the odds\u00a0that way. I was the first&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/blissblog\/2015\/11\/earning-brownie-points.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"The Bliss Blog\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:author\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/snuggleyoga\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2015-11-12T22:01:47+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Edie Weinstein, MSW, LSW\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@EdieWeinstein1\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Earning Brownie Points - The Bliss Blog","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/blissblog\/2015\/11\/earning-brownie-points.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Earning Brownie Points - The Bliss Blog","og_description":"I have been a consummate caretaker, giver, goodie two shoes, apple polisher for as long as I can recall. 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She has also contributed to several anthologies and personal growth books. Edie has interviewed such notables as Ram Dass, Wayne Dyer, Debbie Ford, don Miguel Ruiz, don Miguel Ruiz, Jr. Marianne Williamson, Grover Washington, Jr. Noah Levine, Shirley MacLaine, Dennis Weaver, Ben and Jerry and His Holiness the Dalai Lama. She calls herself an Opti-mystic who sees the world through the eyes of possibility. 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