{"id":5059,"date":"2013-05-02T22:12:12","date_gmt":"2013-05-03T02:12:12","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/blissblog\/?p=5059"},"modified":"2013-05-02T22:12:12","modified_gmt":"2013-05-03T02:12:12","slug":"filling-instead-of-feeling","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/blissblog\/2013\/05\/filling-instead-of-feeling.html","title":{"rendered":"Filling Instead of Feeling"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a id=\"overlay_image_anchor_5039070\" href=\"\/photo.php?imageId=5039070&amp;searchId=3c040f303693d88f8071a8fb2dfc2e7a&amp;npos=14\"><img decoding=\"async\" id=\"overlay_image_5039070\" title=\"_MG_1176_k.jpg\" alt=\"\" src=\"https:\/\/s3.amazonaws.com\/everystockphoto\/mrgfl1\/16\/50\/14\/multicolour-165014-m.jpg\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>As I was interviewing fertility advocate, and sex educator, Pamela Madsen on my Blog Talk Radio show called It&#8217;s All About Relationships, we were speaking about insatiablilty, eating disorders, body image and sexuality. She was mentioning the ways in which we fill ourselves up when there is an emptiness within us. She feels we are &#8220;so hungry and we keep reaching for more and more. People are doing this insatiable behavior. We don&#8217;t slow down to feel and allow our bodies to digest our experiences. We distract ourselves from what might be uncomfortable.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>She spoke of her eating disorder which took the form of bulimia, and the words &#8220;filling instead of feeling&#8221; came to me. One of my hats is as an addictions counselor and over the years, I have worked with people who have that insatiable &#8216;hole in the soul.&#8217; How often do we fill ourselves with food, drugs, shopping, gambling, hoarding, unhealthy sexual activities and high risk behavior when what we really want is pleasure?\u00a0 When one addiction is handled, another might jump right into that space.<\/p>\n<p>What were you taught about pleasure?\u00a0 Was it that it\u00a0is self indulgent, bad, wrong&#8230;.or was it encouraged? I was allowed to \u00a0play in the mud, finger paint, run clay and dough through my fingers, splash in puddles,\u00a0get messy. My wise parents knew that laundry detergent and bubble baths were at the ready. Tears and laughter were welcome in our home, although my father was sensitive to our pain, so he had a hard time watching us cry. Anger wasn&#8217;t overtly expressed, so I am learning to feel that now.\u00a0 Boo boos were kissed away and for better or worse, I learned to do the same for others when perhaps they would be better served by feeling. We can&#8217;t heal what we don&#8217;t feel.\u00a0 What were you taught about handling discomfort? Some quickly rush to self medicate, rather than sit with it. Mine takes the form of activity; doing instead of being. More often, I am able to just be with my own pain, emoting, rather than stuffing out of fear that I won&#8217;t be able to handle it. Of course I always do, And of course you do too.<\/p>\n<p>Not that there&#8217;s anything wrong with an occasional cupcake.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.vividlife.me\">www.vividlife.me<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&nbsp; As I was interviewing fertility advocate, and sex educator, Pamela Madsen on my Blog Talk Radio show called It&#8217;s All About Relationships, we were speaking about insatiablilty, eating disorders, body image and sexuality. She was mentioning the ways in which we fill ourselves up when there is an emptiness within us. She feels we&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":233,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[602,1,2,13,19,22,811,14,15,51,16,7,17,48,23,18],"tags":[2978,3086,603,3085,2732,1068,2931,621,2841],"class_list":["post-5059","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-addiction","category-attracting-what-you-desire","category-bliss","category-blissfull-thinking","category-empowerment","category-healing","category-health","category-how-to-invite-bliss","category-living-their-bliss","category-mental-health","category-my-personal-bliss","category-re-creating-your-life","category-relationships","category-sexuality","category-the-importance-of-healthy-touch","category-wellness","tag-blog-talk-radio","tag-body-image","tag-eating-disorders","tag-fertility","tag-its-all-about-relationships","tag-pamela-madsen","tag-sacred-sexuality","tag-self-esteem","tag-vivid-life-radio"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Filling Instead of Feeling - The Bliss Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/blissblog\/2013\/05\/filling-instead-of-feeling.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Filling Instead of Feeling - The Bliss Blog\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"&nbsp; As I was interviewing fertility advocate, and sex educator, Pamela Madsen on my Blog Talk Radio show called It&#8217;s All About Relationships, we were speaking about insatiablilty, eating disorders, body image and sexuality. She was mentioning the ways in which we fill ourselves up when there is an emptiness within us. She feels we&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/blissblog\/2013\/05\/filling-instead-of-feeling.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"The Bliss Blog\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:author\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/snuggleyoga\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2013-05-03T02:12:12+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/s3.amazonaws.com\/everystockphoto\/mrgfl1\/16\/50\/14\/multicolour-165014-m.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Edie Weinstein, MSW, LSW\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@EdieWeinstein1\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Filling Instead of Feeling - The Bliss Blog","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/blissblog\/2013\/05\/filling-instead-of-feeling.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Filling Instead of Feeling - The Bliss Blog","og_description":"&nbsp; As I was interviewing fertility advocate, and sex educator, Pamela Madsen on my Blog Talk Radio show called It&#8217;s All About Relationships, we were speaking about insatiablilty, eating disorders, body image and sexuality. 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She has also contributed to several anthologies and personal growth books. Edie has interviewed such notables as Ram Dass, Wayne Dyer, Debbie Ford, don Miguel Ruiz, don Miguel Ruiz, Jr. Marianne Williamson, Grover Washington, Jr. Noah Levine, Shirley MacLaine, Dennis Weaver, Ben and Jerry and His Holiness the Dalai Lama. She calls herself an Opti-mystic who sees the world through the eyes of possibility. 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