I have been noticing that my normally ebullient self has been less so lately.\u00a0 This is, of course, natural when one or both beloved parents are ailing and approaching that gateway to the next world.\u00a0 However I am kind of amazed at how buffeted my emotions have been by circumstances.\u00a0 I prefer to think of myself as “stronger” and more grounded than that.\u00a0 Well, apparently I’m not!<\/p>\n
This morning as I awoke feeling down I thought, ‘Oh man.\u00a0 Is this what it feels like for my friends who suffer from depression?’\u00a0 Yikes!\u00a0 Not fun!!!\u00a0 I much prefer to wake up in my mountain home, gaze out the window at those massive guardians that stretch toward the ever-changing sky, walk outside to breathe the fresh mountain air, and feel utter joy.\u00a0 But right now, that is not my path.\u00a0 Right now I am choosing to be an emotional support, a problem-solver, and a witness to the transitions of both my parents, and this is not always a fun path.<\/p>\n
Today I have found myself several times thinking of that Bible verse: “Be thankful in all circumstances.”\u00a0 (1 Thessalonians 5:18)\u00a0 I can actually do the thankful part.\u00a0 I am thankful that I have such dear parents.\u00a0 I am thankful that we’ve been able to care for them at home as long as we have.\u00a0 I am thankful there is a big team of staff people now caring for Dad – providing many of us, including Mom, a bit of much-needed relief.\u00a0 I am thankful that Dad qualifies for hospice and that we have an additional team of superb nurses, aides, and social workers at our disposal.\u00a0 I am thankful that I have had such a wonderful father in my life.\u00a0 I am thankful that there has been some improvement in his level of discomfort.\u00a0 And I’m thankful that I’m at peace about what happens after death.<\/p>\n
But what about that “joy” thing?\u00a0 Is there any way I can conjure up some authentic joy in the midst of sometimes trying and sad circumstances?\u00a0 What about that verse that comes slightly before the “Be thankful” part?\u00a0 “Rejoice always.” (I Thessalonians 5:16)\u00a0 That’s the trick, isn’t it?\u00a0 I don’t want to simply paste a ridiculous smile on my face when it’s inappropriate or inauthentic, but if there is a way for me to be in a more consistent state of joy and peace,\u00a0 I would like to be able to do that. I understand there are spiritual adepts such as the Dalai Lama and Thich Nat Hahn who exhibit a rather omnipresent state of joy.\u00a0 This is something I would like to cultivate.\u00a0 How can I be a peaceful and joyous person in spite of<\/em> external circumstances?\u00a0 I’ve decided to consult the Dalai Lama and see what he advises.\u00a0 Here are a few of his pearls of wisdom:<\/p>\n Here are some other pearls from other wise ones:<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Okay, here are my thoughts on all of the above.\u00a0 I don’t know that simply practicing compassion, kindness, and love necessarily leads one to a place of joy (no offense intended, Your Holiness, and not to say that I don’t wholeheartedly advocate compassion.)\u00a0 However, I do agree that smiling when possible and cultivating positive and pleasant thoughts can make a difference.\u00a0 I can, for instance, begin to let go of my worry about Dad’s care by affirming, “Dad is in a good place filled with caring people.”<\/p>\n I also agree that no one else can “make me happy.”\u00a0 The opportunity to be happy is always my choice.\u00a0 Therefore I can say, when feeling sad, “I understand this sadness, I don’t judge this sadness, and I choose to not remain here.\u00a0 It is okay for me to choose joy.”<\/p>\n In fact, I remember when I was separated from my husband almost twenty years ago.\u00a0 I would occasionally sink into a morass of sadness, guilt, and shame.\u00a0 A turning point came when, at one point, my husband encouraged me to “let the joy in.”\u00a0 It seemed I simply needed to give myself permission to feel joy.<\/p>\n And here are my final words on this topic today:<\/p>\n It’s a process.\u00a0 One learns through practice.\u00a0 Life is not always filled with warm fuzzy good circumstances.\u00a0 I need to learn joy in all circumstances by experiencing many circumstances and then choosing to allow myself to feel peace and joy in the midst of them.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n I’ll work on this.\u00a0 Meanwhile, I send out blessings of peace and joy to you.\u00a0 May we all be so blessed.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I have been noticing that my normally ebullient self has been less so lately.\u00a0 This is, of course, natural when one or both beloved parents are ailing and approaching that gateway to the next world.\u00a0 However I am kind of amazed at how buffeted my emotions have been by circumstances.\u00a0 I prefer to think of…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":553,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,472,488,198,221,374,438,2,366,119,22,485,237,437,434,15,489,214,215],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-487","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blessings","category-compassion","category-dalai-lama","category-depressed","category-dying","category-finding-the-gifts","category-givng-thanks","category-gratitude","category-happiness","category-joy","category-love","category-loved-one","category-spirituality","category-thankfulness","category-thanksgiving","category-the-dalai-lama","category-thich-nhat-hahn","category-wisdom","category-wise-ones"],"yoast_head":"\n
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