{"id":818,"date":"2009-06-16T11:30:29","date_gmt":"2009-06-16T11:30:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/bibleandculture\/2009\/06\/you-are-the-light-of-the-world-until-the-bulb-needs-changing.html"},"modified":"2009-06-16T11:30:29","modified_gmt":"2009-06-16T11:30:29","slug":"you-are-the-light-of-the-world-until-the-bulb-needs-changing","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/bibleandculture\/2009\/06\/you-are-the-light-of-the-world-until-the-bulb-needs-changing.html","title":{"rendered":"‘You are the Light of the World–Until the Bulb needs Changing’"},"content":{"rendered":"

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CHANGING A
LIGHT BULB THE CHRISTIAN WAY<\/span><\/font> <\/p>\n

How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb? <\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

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Charismatic<\/span><\/font><\/b> <\/span><\/font>: Only 1 <\/p>\n

Hands are already in the air. <\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

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Pentecostal<\/span><\/font><\/b> : 10 <\/p>\n

One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness. <\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

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Presbyterians<\/span><\/font><\/b> : None <\/p>\n

Lights will go on and off at predestined times. <\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

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Roman Catholic<\/span><\/font><\/b>: None – Candles only. <\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

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Baptists<\/span><\/font><\/b> <\/span><\/font>: At least 15. <\/p>\n

One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and
decide who brings the potato salad and fried chicken. <\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

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Episcopalians: <\/span><\/font><\/b>3 <\/p>\n

One to call
\nthe electrician, one to mix the drinks and one to talk about
how much better the old one was. <\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

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Mormons<\/span><\/font><\/b> <\/span><\/font>: 5 <\/p>\n

One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it. <\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

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Unitarians<\/span><\/font><\/b> : <\/p>\n

We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need
for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light
bulbs work for you, you are invited to write a poem or compose a modern
dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday service, in which we will
explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent,
fluorescent, 3-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid
paths to luminescence. <\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

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Methodists<\/span><\/font><\/b> <\/span><\/font>: Undetermined <\/p>\n

Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You
can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Bring a bulb of your
choice to the Sunday lighting service and a covered dish to pass. <\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

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Nazarene<\/span><\/font><\/b> <\/span><\/font>: 6 <\/p>\n

One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.
<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

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Lutherans<\/span><\/font><\/b> : None <\/p>\n

Lutherans don’t believe in change.. <\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

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<\/span><\/font><\/div>\n

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<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Amish<\/span><\/font><\/b> : <\/p>\n

What’s a light bulb? <\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n

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<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

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\n

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<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    CHANGING A LIGHT BULB THE CHRISTIAN WAY How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb? Charismatic : Only 1 Hands are already in the air. Pentecostal : 10 One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness. Presbyterians : None Lights will go on and…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":199,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-818","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry"],"yoast_head":"\n'You are the Light of the World-Until the Bulb needs Changing' - The Bible and Culture<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/bibleandculture\/2009\/06\/you-are-the-light-of-the-world-until-the-bulb-needs-changing.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"'You are the Light of the World-Until the Bulb needs Changing' - The Bible and Culture\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"    CHANGING A LIGHT BULB THE CHRISTIAN WAY How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb? 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A graduate of UNC, Chapel Hill, he went on to receive the M.Div. degree from Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary and a Ph.D. from the University of Durham in England. He is now considered one of the top evangelical scholars in the world, and is an elected member of the prestigious SNTS, a society dedicated to New Testament studies. Witherington has also taught at Ashland Theological Seminary, Vanderbilt University, Duke Divinity School and Gordon-Conwell. A popular lecturer, Witherington has presented seminars for churches, colleges and biblical meetings not only in the United States but also in England, Estonia, Russia, Europe, South Africa, Zimbabwe and Australia. He has also led tours to Italy, Greece, Turkey, Israel, Jordan, and Egypt. Witherington has written over thirty books, including The Jesus Quest and The Paul Quest, both of which were selected as top biblical studies works by Christianity Today. He also writes for many church and scholarly publications, and is a frequent contributor to the Beliefnet website. Along with many interviews on radio networks across the country, Witherington has been seen on the History Channel, NBC, ABC, CBS, CNN, The Discovery Channel, A&E, and the PAX Network.","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/bibleandculture\/author\/bwitherington"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/bibleandculture\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/818","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/bibleandculture\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/bibleandculture\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/bibleandculture\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/199"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/bibleandculture\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=818"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/bibleandculture\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/818\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/bibleandculture\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=818"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/bibleandculture\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=818"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/bibleandculture\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=818"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}